Lily
by petals-to-fish
Summary: "The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all." Worried her ailing friend will be killed when he is drafted by the Aurors, Lily Evans masquerades as a pureblood to train with other recruits. Accompanied by an old friend from school, she uses her smarts to outwit the terrifying Death Walkers, impressing her Captain, James Potter along the way. R&R
1. Reflections of Lily

**1.**

 **Must there be a secret me that I am forced to hide?**

 **Must I pretend to be someone I'm not for all time?**

 **When will my reflection show who I am inside?**

They were dressed in black cloaks and ignored by muggles flocking out of the theatre. A black owl floated silently above the leader, seemingly invisible in the darkness. They looked ominous to the thoughtful eye. A child wearing dancing slippers stared at the men with wide blue eyes. They were on the edges of London near a small village. The muggles believed the crowds were due to the ballet recital. Below the men was their escape from the hustle and bustle of the muggle world. The man leading the pack, Gregory McKenzie, was ordering the men to prepare to get into the theatre because underneath the stage was an entrance to centuries old caverns untouched since the dark ages.

The caverns were the ticket to the newly elected Minister of Magic.

The little girl in the dancing slippers watched carefully as the man raised a stick into the air and shouted something unintelligible.

Beside the little girl, a man with a peg leg ripped off a cloak that had been covering his face and shouted, "They're here!"

His shout made muggles and wizards alike freeze in their spots. The little girl began crying and her mother scooped her up protectively. More bodies in cloaks were coming from the opposite direction of Gregory Mckenzie's Death Walkers.

The Ministry must've had a tip off on Gregory's position.

A green blast of light hit the little girl in the dancing slippers. Her mother cried a sharp cry that was drowned out by the shouts and screams of hundreds of confused people. A giant shimmering shield appears around anyone close enough to the original man who shouted. To the untrained eye it would appear that the people in the cloaks were throwing balls of light at each other but in fact, it was magic.

Gregory raced up the steps of the theatre where the grizzled old wizard was awaiting him.

"Moody," Gregory says pleasurably, "I'll be happy to tell my Lord of your ultimate death by the end of the night."

The man called Moody replied sternly, "Your Lord made a fatal mistake in believing he could trust you to lead an attack on the Ministry."

The man smiled and pointed his wand to the sky, letting the image of a snake and skull cross the sky like constellations.

"Now all of England knows you're here." Moody snarled, "Doesn't your Lord prefer doing things in secret?"

"We're done hiding." Gregory sneered.

Gregory took Moody by surprise and knocked him backwards into a wall and rushed into the theater, his posse of Death Walkers taking out innocent bodies as they followed. Gregory smiled in menace. The Dark Lord wanted the Ministry taken and Gregory was determined to do so flawlessly. No minister, pureblood, or mudblood would be able to stand in his way.

Not this time.

 _~~~reflection~~~_

Many blocks away, in the heart of London, the Ministry of Magic was swarmed with wizards watching and waiting for news of the attack. A witch wearing stark white robes and a pin of a golden lioness stood surrounded by gentleman in hats all whispering to her. She stood tall, despite having just been elected the Minister of Magic by the peoples, and the first woman Minister in years. Where most in her shoes would be trembling at the news of an attack on the outskirts of London, she appeared astonishingly calm.

Another wizard, dressed in black robes like those fighting in the streets far away from the safety of the Ministry, walked through the crowds to reach the Minister with a bold face.

"Minister, they call themselves the Death Walkers."

"Death Walkers?" the Minister sighed, "Don't we have enough _death_ on our minds?"

The man frowned too, "They like the play on words. Names aside, they have entered the catacombs under London...we believe it will take them some time to navigate the caverns and we can cut them off at the spring that runs through the caverns."

A small woman wearing red lip stick who had been one of the people whispering to the Minister hissed, "Impossible! No one can get through the aurors we have guarding the city."

The Minister motioned for the small woman to be silent.

The wizard who had addressed the Minister frowned sincerely, "Reports have it that Gregory McKenzie is leading them. We'll set up defenses around your office's immediately."

The Minister forcefully shook her head, "No, Frank! Send your Aurors to protect the people." She turned to the smallest woman in red lipstick, "Colbie?"

"Yes Minister?" the woman sniffed.

The Minister tucked a strand of her white hair behind her ear before continuing, "Deliver recruitment notices throughout all the offices. Call up reserves and as many new recruits as possible. We're going to need all the help we can get."

Frank stepped in again, "Forgive me Minister, but I believe my current Aurors can stop him."

The Minister smiled kindly at Frank, "I wont take any chances, Longbottom. A single grain of rice can tip the scale. One man may be the difference between victory and defeat."

Frank nodded, "I'll have James Potter set up a recruitment camp outside of the city."

"Colbie?" the Minister addressed the woman with red lipstick.

"Yes?" Colbie asked again, seeming annoyed.

"Meet up with Mr. Potter and send me reports of his recruits as they progress." The Minister looked gravely out at her subjects, "I'm afraid this war is only beginning."

 _~~~reflection~~~_

Far away from the bustling city streets of London, a young woman named Lily Evans sat inside her small bedroom alone. She lived in a small city called Cokesworth with her parents and sister. They didn't have much and Lily's parents struggled to move their two pretty daughters up the social ladder. Windows to the small condo were thrown open to the cool spring air and the blue curtains in Lily's room moved like waves against the breeze. A slight humming was coming from the radio in the corner but Lily was so focused on her task at hand that she ignored the buzzing.

"Quiet and demure...graceful...polite..." she flipped the page of _Peggy Pennyful's Pocketbook of Perfect Woman_ , "delicate...refined...poised..."

Lily flipped her arm and sued the extra ink in her quill to write the last word she read from the book, "punctual."

Just then, an alarm clock went off and Lily squealed, kicking her legs off the couch. She blew on the ink resting on her arm, looking around the room for a telltale sign of her wand. She'd put it down last night and couldn't remember where she'd left it.

"Petunia!" she called through the house.

No answer. Lily finished blowing at the ink and pulled down her white sweater impatiently. She spotted her wand among her forgotten garments pushed into the farthest corner of her room. A trunk filled with spell books and potions sat collecting dust in the same corner. Lily stared wistfully at it for two seconds before focusing on the task at hand. She grabbed her wand quickly, loving the way her fingers held it familiarly.

"ahhh, there you are." She smiled triumphantly and stuffed the wand into her pocket.

Just because her parents expected her to act like a lady, didn't mean she couldn't keep her wand on her. Even Lily was a practical witch. Lily bit her lip as she glanced in the mirror one last time.

Lily's red hair was fly away and unruly but she'd only just woken up. Lily tried to straighten her white blouse expertly. Only if one looked really hard, could they spot the ink on the inside of her arm. Another look and they could see her wand sticking out of her jeans. Lily bit her lip and hid the wand inside her shirt instead.

Petunia would be the first to remind Lily that no man wanted a freak for a wife and no normal girl carried sticks in her back pocket.

Thinking of Petunia, Lily shouted louder this time, "Petunia!"

No answer again.

Lily raced to her open windows and looked outside only to spot her aforementioned sister picking flowers in the community garden. Lily sighed deeply, her fringe blowing up form the wind. Leave it to Petunia to be collecting flowers from a garden that had seen better days.

Lily didn't bother checking herself again in the mirror as she raced from her room and down the stairs to her left. The stomping was probably going to anger their old neighbors but Lily was too on edge about this afternoon. Lily's parents were taking her and Petunia to a gathering where they'd be judged on their lady-like appearances and set up with an eligible bachelor. While Petunia more-or-less enjoyed the thought of a Prince Charming it drove Lily to drink thinking about a boy she had to play house for.

Nevertheless, Lily did as her parents instructed.

There were worse things that could happen to Lily than finding a stable home life outside of the world she'd grown up in. The world that she was used too, full of magic and ghosts and goblins, was more of a story now. It was terrible, sad, and sometimes Lily felt tragically at a loss without magic surrounding her—but her current world was safe.

And safe was the way her parents liked her best.

"Lily!" she heard her mother call form the small living room, "did you do the dishes?"

Lily winced; because she hadn't, but she wasn't about to tell her mother that. Biting her lip she shouted a quick yes before racing into the kitchen and seeing the pile of dirty dishes. Glancing back behind her once, just to check and make sure her father wasn't around, Lily pulled her wand from it's hiding spot.

It had been months since she had done magic. The thought of the possibility all but sent Lily's heart into a frantic beat. Her body ached for magic like an alcoholic craved fine wine. Lily took a deep breath and waved it up once, whispering the spell. She felt little sparks of pleasure race up her spine as all of the dirty dishes in the sink became sparkling within two seconds.

Smirking smugly, Lily stuffed the wand away and turned only to have her father glaring at her. Lily cleared her throat and stood on the edge of her tiptoes with a smile.

"Morning, Father." She smiled, kissing his cheek.

As if praying to the Lord above, her father glanced up at the ceiling before glancing back down at her with grey eyes and a stern smile, "Are you ready for the matchmaker today?"

"Yes." Lily lied, letting her word drag out slowly.

Her father sighed and moved past her with a raised eyebrow, "You cleaned the dishes?"

"Yes." She nodded again, looking over her shoulder to see her mother appear with a shawl around her think shoulders.

"Without magic?"

"Er."

Her father looked like he was praying again and Lily smiled sheepishly, "No."

Her father sighed and leaned against the counter, staring directly at her in shame, "You know better than to use magic in the house."

"I know." Lily muttered guiltily.

"We know how hard it must be for you—" Lily's mother finally interrupted, "But we simply don't want to see you hurt."

"Mum," Lily sighed, "I wouldn't get hurt washing a few simple dishes."

"You know what we mean." Her father replied curtly.

Lily turned her head away from her parents and stared at the yellowing tiles of their kitchen. It had been six months since she'd graduated from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Five months since dark wizards had hunted the muggleborns. Three since she'd even considered going back to the magical world.

Lily's parents had been unwavering in their support of Lily's decision to leave her magical world behind once it had become dangerous but rather than encourage her to continue using magic, they discouraged her talents. They believed only bad could come of magic, especially after they found out some of the dangers of her world. They decided they wanted her to settle down with a nice, normal husband. They wanted her to forget the part of herself that loved magic.

She didn't believe her parents meant anything by hiring the matchmaker. She truly believed they cared—and this was their way of trying to make it better. They believed anything could be remedied by setting their daughters up with eligible bachelors. The matchmaker was setting up even Petunia, who was the definition of normal.

Lily knew that nothing would make her happier than rejoining the world and friends she'd left behind at the whispers of war…but whispers of a war were growing closer to home and as a young lady looking for a husband…war was no place for a young lady.

At least according to _Peggy Pennyful's Pocketbook of Perfect Woman_.

Lily's mother quickly changed the subject, "My goodness, look at the time! Petunia!" she called for Lily's sister, "We were supposed to be in town five minutes ago!"

Lily father reached in to hug Lily's crumpled form; "We're counting on you to ma-

Lily cut him off and hugged him back tightly, "—make you and mum proud. Don't worry father. I wont let you down."

Petunia entered carrying a bouquet of flowers, likely to soften up the matchmaker. Lily wasn't that obsessed with making a good opinion. As long as the matchmaker didn't set her up with some low life street vermin she was fine. Lily kissed her father's stubbly cheek.

"Wish me luck."

Lily laughed when her father sighed, "I had the whole church praying for you on Sunday."

"Merlin," Lily let the old term slip her tongue despite her parents worried glances, "The whole church?" she rolled her eyes but smiled even though she heard her father sigh deeply.

Lily heard her father mutter to her mother as she got her coat, "I'm going to pray some more."

Lily bit her lip thoughtfully because she was praying too, she was praying for the strength to go through with her parents plans. She felt like she was living a lie and she desperately hoped the matchmaker could work a miracle. It would take a miracle find her someone who could make her as happy as she'd been in school _and_ make her parents proud.

* * *

 **Next time:**

"You are a disgrace! You may look like a bride, but you will never be one! You're a freak!" the matchmaker shouted after Lily's retreating form.

Lily ducked her head and covered her face with her hands as the other girls stared on in shock. The words, so often used by her sister to taunt her magical abilities, stung and tears slipped out of Lily's eyes as her mother grabbed her arm.

"What did you do?" her mother cried with worry.

Lily never felt more defeated in her life as in the moment she had to whisper the words, "I used magic."

* * *

So. I'm back...without another rewrite of a movie. Oops? One day I'll go back to writing original Jily. One day.

This won't follow Mulan exactly...for obvious reasons...but it will have a similar message and dialogue and background. I own nothing. Literally. Nothing. Just the idea to cross two worlds together.

Lemme know if you like it? Aka review? I love Reviews. Live for them actually.


	2. Reflections of Magic

**2.**

 **Look at me,**

 **I will never pass for a perfect bride, or a perfect daughter.**

 **can it be, I'm not meant to play this part?**

 **Now I see, if I were truly to be myself**

 **I would break my families heart.**

The town of Cokesworth hung in a consistent misty fog. It didn't matter if it was the heat of the summer or the dead of the winter. Lily often compared her hometown to the forests of Hogwarts but the town lacked the certain magical creatures that inhabited the forest. It was a small town, with the inhabitants either ranging from incredibly well off to incredibly poor. Lily's family made up the latter. Even so, Lily's mother walked with a sense of purpose as they walked through the throng of women already lining the streets.

The matchmaker came all the way from London and was highly recommended in _A Ladies' Guidebook To Survival In a Man's World_. Lily hadn't read it herself—but her sister Petunia counted that book as her own personal bible. Lily was certain that the book had nothing to do with surviving in a man's world by being the least bit unfeminine. Lily wondered how the writer of the book would feel about a witch in a man's world.

Once in town the two sisters were taken aback by how many young ladies were getting made-up to meet the matchmaker. Petunia had a firm grip on her flowers as the pair shared a glance.

"Our parents aren't the only ones trying to marry us off." Lily whispered worriedly to her sister.

Petunia sniffed, "They won't have any trouble marrying me off."

Before Lily could strike her sister for the nasty and well-aimed words a boy cut her off in her words with a smile and a wave. Lily's face brightened immensely at the sight of one boy who loved her for exactly who she was and understood what she was going through.

"Remus!" her whole demeanor changed and she felt taller, prouder, and happier at the sight of her friend from school.

Lily's mother and sister stopped at the site of the young boy, and Lily's mother looked around nervously as if passerby could guess the pair was not normal. Remus' mother was directly behind Remus with a smile and a hug prepared for Lily. Lily flung her arms around Remus' shoulders in a hug he reciprocated with a deep chuckle.

"It's been a while!" he commented gaily, seeming as happy as she felt.

"I didn't know you you were coming tot own today too," She smacked him playfully, "I would have brought you your book back!"

Remus Lupin was a shaggy looking boy with long blond hair that covered his eyes when he looked down at his feet. He was one of two wizards Lily knew of close to her childhood home. Remus had gone to Hogwarts with Lily and was not a normal wizard either, for every full moon he became a werewolf. It was a fact that would send most witches in the opposite direction but Lily had known Remus since he was eleven and knew him to be about as dangerous as a stuffed bear. Even now, his eyes were soft as they stared down at her with joy.

"Remus and I were getting some squash for out back." His mother replied warmly as she returned Lily's hug, despite her armful of paper bags.

"Where are you headed?" Remus asked, eyeing her up and down for a clue.

"Lily." Her mother called, "Let's go."

Lily sighed and sent her mum a now forced smile, "Mum you remember Remus?" she gestured to her friend.

"Indeed." Lily's mother raised a peculiar eyebrow, "But he is not who we paid to meet."

"Who did you pay to meet?" Remus snorted in disbelief, "The queen?"

"In Cokesworth?" Lily teased, "Don't be daft, I'm off to the matchmaker."

"Don't joke." Remus' tone warned her quickly.

"No jokes." Lily grinned, "My parents are determined to marry me off to the next eligible bachelor."

Remus rolled his eyes, "And you're going along with it? Marry a muggle and pretend Hogwarts never happened?"

"Remus." His mother admonished but Remus looked like he didn't feel sorry for his harsh words at all.

Lily blinked a warning at him as she turned back to her mother and sister, "Look at the pot calling the kettle black." She returned his sting with an equally harsh mock, "How'er the boys?"

At Lily's less than kindly aimed words, Remus' face became pained.

"Fine." He lied.

Lily couldn't help wishing that _fine_ included more information about his friends. James and Sirius had been unspoken of for the past three months. Remus was sure the pair had forgotten about their best friend. Lily immeaditly regretted her own words when she saw how hurt he looked.

They were both unhappy.

Although younger than all three of the boys, Remus had introduced Lily to Sirius one night after a school meeting to and then eventually she'd gotten to know James Potter who was never without loyal Sirius at his side. Lily was smitten with the young Potter, who preferred spending a night figuring out how to turn the entire charms corridor into a dungbomb war than complete his homework on time. Even with his pranking habits, Potter managed to stay at the top of his class and last Lily had heard he was in Auror training for the Ministry.

Lily envied his sense of adventure but James was a pureblood, he walked with a safety net around his body. He was useful; Lily was only useful through marriage—and not to James Potter.

Lily looked immediately to Remus with apology written on her face, "Remus, I'm sorry."

"Lily." Her mother snapped, "Let's go, please. We can't be late."

"Good luck at the matchmaker," He said, taking one of the bags from his mum, who looked vaguely upset at their tiff.

"My father's been praying at church in hopes that I get a decent match." Lily shot back, "apparently I'm a lost cause."

Remus chuckled then, "Nah, no more lost than me."

Lily glanced back at Remus once more, almost as socially crippled as a werewolf. Pity flooded Lily's face, as she knew he was speaking of his sickness. Remus had been bitten by a werewolf as a child and was afflicted ever since then. While Lily was perfectly content around Remus most of the magical world saw him as a monster. Remus had trouble socially in all worlds—magical or not.

Remus waved goodbye but he looked thoughtful as he did so.

Remus whistled and was no doubt impressed that Lily was going through with something as pointless as muggle matchmaking. Lily was quite popular at their school and hadn't ever needed help in snagging a boy or two—it was here in the muggle world that she was apparently crippled socially.

"We only paid for a half hour Lily." Her mother chastised when Lily caught up to her family.

"I'm so sorry," Lily quickly apologized, the smile falling from her face, "Remus and I were catching up. I haven't seen him since I went to go borrow the book on Hogw-." She strutted to not say Hogwarts.

Her mother nodded, mouth thin. Lily's parents didn't very much like Remus; something about him seemed off to most. Something about him seemed dangerous despite his kind persona. Not to mention, when Lily had announced she'd start hiding from her world, they'd assumed she'd stop talking to all her friends but Remus was different. He was hiding too, laying low with his parents; despite how much he obviously hated being a burden to them.

Before seeing the matchmaker, Mrs. Evans was taking her daughters to the parlor. Mrs. Evans also held the dresses she'd picked out for her daughters to wear. Petunia's was yellow with a turtleneck. Lily's dress was flowery print with a low cut V that showed off more than Lily figured her father would have allowed—but Lily's mother must've been compensating for something. Petunia wasn't particularly pretty, in fact she was rather bony and plain, but what she lacked in looks she made up for in her prime housewife manners. Lily knew she was the quick witted of the two, with a sharp tongue as well as magical powers. Lily wondered if Lily's mother was hoping the matchmaker would look past Lily's sharp wit and unkempt manners by showing off Lily's best assets: her features.

The beautician popped her gum as Lily walked in with her frizzy hair and awkward clothes that were meant more for comfort than fashion. Petunia's hair was sleeked back and she wore a pretty blouse. They were the literal opposite of each other.

"This is what you give me to work with in fifteen minutes?" the woman popped her gum as she examined Lily's hair that still hadn't been touched by a brush. When she noted Lily's sour face she added quickly, "Well, honey, I've seen worse."

They tugged Lily behind a screen and started undressing her, poking and prodding her every inch. Lily shivered against the air-conditioned air and looked over to see her sister was already getting make-up done. While getting into the flower dress, Lily's mother spotted the ink Lily had written on her arm. She grabbed Lily's pale arm to inspect closer.

"Lily, what's this?" she sighed exasperatedly.

Lily drew her arm back and batted her eyelashes, "Ahh, notes, in case I forget something?"

"Someone didn't read her pocketbook enough." Petunia sang-spoke from her high chair where her hair was being blown out.

Lily glared her sister's direction and wished more than anything she could send a stinging hex her sister's way. She settled for sticking her tongue out and the beautician clucked her tongue at Lily's less than communicative poise.

They settled on a light make up foundation for Lily's features, to compliment her eyes. Petunia had similar make-up but Lily saw Petunia got to wear a more vivid lipstick.

" _ow_!" Lily complained after one hard tug on her hair by the beautician.

"Baby." Petunia coughed.

Lily' mother rolled her eyes at her daughters' antics. The beautician sat Lily in a chair next to her sister and started wrapping her hair up in a fashion Lily had only seen in magazines.

"Once I'm done," the beautician promised, "Men will gladly line up out the door for you."

Lily stared at her reflection in the mirror and saw a young girl staring back with vivid green eyes and gorgeous red hair. With a dress on and make-up done professionally she looked right out of the pictures from Peggys Pocketbook to Perfect Ladies. Lily's mother squeezed her shoulders and smiled greatly at her for the first time in weeks.

"You look just like your grandmother, Lily." She said gently, "Beautiful."

Lily and her sister looked like perfect little brides, Petunia especially. Lily's mother even snapped a quick picture, dabbing her eyes with a kerchief. Lily wasn't generally excited, something else was bubbling up in her stomach that she contributed to nerves.

Lily shook herself off from saying anything she might regret when her mother exclaimed it was impossible for the Matchmaker to find anything wrong with her two perfect little ladies. Lily had chosen the quiet life. She couldn't feel sorry for herself; especially knowing she wasn't the only one who had stepped away from the magical world.

Even still…

Lily closed her eyes and remembered the castle she called home as she followed her sister and mother to the matchmaker's office.

"Lily."

Lily's eyes flew open at the surprised voice. It seemed to be a day to run into wizards. A greasy haired boy with black eyes stared at her animatedly. Lily would have given anything for it to be an angry Remus Lupin again as she exited the shop. Instead she got the unpleasant register of someone Lily hadn't ever wanted to see again. Lily took a step back in surprise and a faint blush rose on her cheeks.

"Severus."

This time, Petunia made a blatant noise of distaste as Lily's mother sent Lily an exasperated look. Finally, Lily and her sister shared a similar look.

"I didn't know you were still in Cokesworth?" he asked, eyeing her up and down in a way that made her skin crawl.

Severus Snape had been the same year as Lily at Hogwarts, although childhood friends, eventually the pair drifted apart. Their lack of friendship was partially due to the fact that Severus started associating with other wizards in school who hated muggles and witches like Lily who came from muggle families. Lily saw his eyes pass arrogantly over to Petunia. Anger fumed inside of her when she saw his slight smirk in her sister's direction.

"I'm going to see the matchmaker with my sister," Lily held up her head as he swiveled his own head around to stare at her in astonishment.

"Look at that Lily," if there were one thing both sisters didn't like, it was Severus Snape, and Petunia sneered as she took her sister's arm, "He's jealous because he knows the matchmaker would never consider him worthy of any _respectable_ lady."

Lily watched with narrowed eyes as Snape's hands flicked towards his pocket where she knew his wand was stored. She was all but ready to grab her own wand and duel him if she had too. She wondered where Snape had come from but then she spotted a long line of boys on the sidewalk, goggling as young ladies walked past to meet the matchmaker. Had he come to ogle at muggle girls he so claimed to hate?

Her blood was all but boiling.

Snape laughed when he saw Petunia's face, frozen in fear when his hand slid for his pocket, "I could do a whole lot better than you, _muggle_." He spat the word muggles and Lily tried to reach for her wand, hidden in the seams of her dress but her mother cleared her throat from ahead.

"Lily, Petunia." She ordered, "With me, now."

"Later, Snivellus." Lily used James Potter's nickname for him, sending Snape into a spitfire of rapid hisses.

Severus and James had never been friends. James told Lily it was because he hated the dark arts and Snape worshiped them…but Lily had a feeling that it was also in part to her. While she didn't have proof, Lily was certain that Severus was insanely jealous that Lily was friends with the most popular boys in seventh year but wouldn't even glace in his direction.

Lily shot Snape a warning glance and he watched her go almost pensively. She flipped him a nasty signal with her fingers and a few boys catcalled as Petunia huffed and ripped her arm away from Lily.

"Can't you be tactful for _one second_ , Lily!" she cried, racing forward to meet their mother.

"Merlin," Lily whispered to the sky as her sister ran away from her again, "Please don't let me make a fool of me or my family."

Once in front of the small office titled _Lifehouse Matchmaking_ the girls stood in line. The cool breeze did nothing to calm Lily down as she thought of Severus Snape and his stupid beliefs about her family. Lily might not particularly like the world she was in but it was her family's world and she was determined to protect it at all costs from extremists like Snape. Lily felt like static electricity was building up in her head and her nose felt like it was steaming.

The matchmaker, a stuffy lady with white hair, suddenly called Lily's name, startling her from her angered thoughts.

Lily raised her hand quickly to signify she was waiting, "Present."

The old woman licked her pink painted lips, "Speaking without permission." She made a mark on her clipboard and Lily had a feeling it wasn't a positive checkmark.

Lily winced as her mother whispered in her ear and pushed her forward, "Make your mother proud."

Lily took a deep breath before stepping into the world of the Matchmaker. She thought she saw Severus Snape on the sidewalk besides the building. It didn't help calm her agitation. When she entered the intensely perfumed room the clock on the wall went off and it made both Lily and the matchmaker jump.

"Stupid clock." The matchmaker grumpily stated, before looking to Lily.

Lily felt like throwing up, as the smell of incense was overwhelming in the small office. A desk with a china tea set sat in front of the pair. Lily's hands were shaking.

The Matchmaker looked over Lily with judgmental eyes, "Huh, Hmm, too skinny. Hmph, not good for bearing sons."

Lily stared at the woman in shock, she was _certainly_ capable of bearing children. Why she would want a child, she had no idea, but perhaps if she met the right man someday Lily was perfectly fixed to raise a child. Lily desperately hoped Matchmaker told her sister she ought to eat more. Petunia was even smaller than Lily.

"Recite the final admonition." The Matchmaker ordered Lily suddenly.

Lily tucked her chin and tried to remember that chapter in _Peggy's Pocketbook_ , "Mmm-Hmm."

Matchmaker raised one painted eyebrow, "Well..."

Lily cleared her throat as she spilled words she hoped were correct. She remembered the notes on her arm and turned her wrist a bit so she could look at them, "Fulfill your duties calmly and re...f—"

Lily stared hard at her arm and noticed the writing was smeared. She cursed inwardly. None of this was helping her nerves. She felt sick and she was still angry that Snape had even dared come up and talk to her and her sister that way—after everything he'd done. Lily recalled when Severus dropped a branch on Petunia's head when they were children. She scowled, the Matchmaker cleared her throat.

"Respectfully." Lily continued quickly, realizing she'd lost focus again, "Reflect before you snack."

The matchmaker turned to her in surprise and Lily blushed quickly with her mistake. Even if she would rather be eating a snack somewhere at that moment she would not make her parents proud this way.

She'd have to tell Remus of her meeting with Snape. He hated the git just as much, if more than, Lily.

"Act." Lily licked her lips, "I meant act." She rapidly finished the verse from the book, "This shall bring you honor and glory."

Matchmaker frowned at Lily and eyed her with an unfriendly glare. Lily smiled innocently and tucked her arm behind her back, crossing her fingers.

"You are very devious, Mrs. Evans." The Matchmaker stared down at her deeply, "Gentleman do not appreciate a woman who is not honest."

Lily shrugged. Lily wouldn't be the best for any gentleman then, considering she'd have to hide the fact she could fly a broomstick better than she could drive a car.

"No shrugging." The matchmaker hissed before grabbing her hand and guiding her to the tea set, "Now, pour the tea."

Lily grabbed the teapot and started to pour, only to notice the teacup itself was shaking uncontrollably. Lily froze, noticing in the reflection of the silver platter that even with the makeup she was bright red and her hands were shaking. Lily bit her lip and recognized the issue. She'd had similar problems as a child. Particularly when she was really young and Petunia would do something to make her mad. Lily could feel the magic boiling in her system and she became even more terrified.

Lily was like a child experimenting with her powers again: she didn't have complete control. _Perfect_. She closed her eyes and tried to focus because having a magical mishap in front of the matchmaker would be awful.

"To please your future in-laws you must demonstrate a sense of dignity and refinement. You must also be poised." The matchmaker said as Lily struggled to stop shaking.

Timidly, Lily spoke up to try and excuse herself before anything got out of hand, "Um, pardon me."

Matchmaker frowned greatly, "And one must be silent!"

Lily was shaking now, and she glared at the woman. Why couldn't the matchmaker see Lily was feeling ill? Lily was reaching and grabbing for the teapot to pour the tea as instructed but every time her hand inched close to the pot, it shook. She couldn't steady it.

"Pour the tea girl," the matchmaker ordered again, "Men like ladies who listen the first time—"

Then the teapot flew off the side and hit against the wall, shattering. Lily covered her mouth with her hands and stared at the woman apologetically.

The matchmaker hissed grabbing her shoulder, "Why you clumsy little—" then the matchmaker drew back her hands and screamed as huge blisters started forming on it. Lily's eyes opened wide and she jumped up, backing away from the woman who screamed at her to get out of her office. The clock on the wall was going haywire. Lily struggled not to touch anything else, afraid her magic was going to do something else she couldn't control.

"You are a disgrace! You may look like a bride, but you will never be one, you're a freak!"

The words, so often used by her older sister to taunt her magical abilities stung and tears slipped out of Lily's eyes.

She didn't belong in this world—and her magic was finally protesting her masquerade as a muggle. All it had taken was a reminder that Lily couldn't escape her world, no matter how she tried. There would always be Remus Lupins and there would always be Severus Snapes.

Lily turned and ran out of the office and into the streets. Her mother tried to stop her by grabbing her arm.

"What did you do?" her mother cried as Lily tore away from her grasp, "What did you do?"

"Magic." Lily whispered apologetically to her mother, who dropped her arm in shock at her daughter's horrified admission.

Lily ran all the way to Remus' despite her legs wanting to give out after the first fifteen minutes. She ran until she was on the outskirts of Cokesworth and the houses became smaller and less put together. She stood panting in front of a yellowing brick house with vines and a staircase on the side that led to an underground basement. Her head was still pounding but she felt more in control after exerting so much energy.

Lily was still shaking as she raced up to the door and pounded her fist against it, shouting for Remus. When he finally opened the door she was sobbing and he quickly put down the dish he'd been holding and wrapped his arms around her.

"What's wrong?" he asked with panic, "Lily?"

"I lost contr—I did—I did magic!" she managed to blurt out through her tears and Remus looked upset.

"Why are you crying?"

"Remus I lost control of my magic…like a first year!" she sniffed, wiping her cheek and not daring to look in the mirror in the hallway as Remus dragged her inside his small flat.

"That's to be expected." Remus didn't sound the least bit concerned now.

"To be expected!" Lily exclaimed, throwing her hands off him so she could stare at him, "Remus, I'm seventeen years old and graduated from a school of Magic—top of my class! It's not to be expected!" she was hyperventilating and he quickly brought her into a small kitchen to calm down.

"Of course it is." He admonished her; "You've been going months without using magic. It's been bottled up inside of you. Magic isn't meant to be contained."

"I have too!" Lily exclaimed, "My parents want me to be normal again!"

Remus laughed, "You were never normal to them, Lily. You've always had magic."

Lily swallowed thickly, "It's all Severus Snape's fault—he made me lose control because he spotted us in town and made fun of my sister."

"Snape is back in town?" Remus asked with interest, "Strange, it must be for his mother—I heard she's ailing."

"He hates his mother," Lily muttered, "He couldn't have come back for her."

"You would know more than I." Remus said as he turned the stove on to make tea.

Lily blinked owlishly and scratched her nose, "I'm sorry for coming here…I couldn't think of who would understand but—"

"Me?" he laughed uneasily, "It's fine Lily. I know all about trying to hide who you are."

They were both quiet for some time and then Remus spoke up again, "Do you remember James Potter?"

"That's a dumb question." Lily muttered unintelligibly and Remus laughed knowingly.

Remus leaned against a countertop, "He used to tell me that I shouldn't be ashamed of who or what I was, because I was unique."

Lily smiled softly, James was right. Remus was very unique in the fact that he was the first werewolf to graduate from Hogwarts and he had a heart filled with gold. He often let Lily come over and borrow books from the Hogwarts's library that he'd never returned and never demanded anything else in return. He was a good friend to have and Lily currently didn't have many friends.

"Not all of us can be as cool as you." Lily leaned on her knees and smiled kindly at Remus through her drying tears, "But I guess James was right."

"James is typically and stupidly, always right." Remus chuckled.

Lily took the opportunity to ask, "How is James? And Sirius, of course?"

Remus looked somber, "We haven't spoken in a month."

"Perhaps they're busy with Auror training?" it was Lily's turn to cheer Remus up.

Remus let a smile flood his depressed features, "Maybe."

"Oh." Lily bowed her head and realized the time, "I should probably go." Lily's mother and father would be looking for her, "Thanks for letting me talk, Remus."

"Anytime, Lily." He hugged her on her way out, "Don't keep your magic bottled up. It's a part of you."

"I'll see you later."

"Stop by for dinner or something, my mum misses having a girl around."

Lily's mother didn't speak to her when she got home. Petunia prattled on about how she hoped the matchmaker didn't base her pick off Lily's performance. Lily struggled to not pull her wand and turn her sister into a toad. The day had seen enough magic-gone-wrong, as far as Lily was concerned.

Lily swung her red hair to hide her face and raced up to her room to cry after dinner without her parents seeing. She could still feel it, the magic; it boiled in her blood like firewhisky and sang to her heart like a love song.

Lily drew her wand out of her dress and fingered the edges carefully. Sparks flew out the top and hit the dresser.

"Look at me," she laughed softly at her reflection in the mirror, "As jumpy as a first year."

She took a deep breathe in and waved her wand in a familiar arch she hadn't done in months. The resulting magic was a shower of bubble charms erupting about the room. Lily continued watching the bubbles form and pop one-by-one until she fell asleep.

* * *

 **Next time:**

"Your muggleborn." Remus reminded her softly

"So?" Lily said, putting her hands on her hips and glaring at him.

"You're not allowed." Mr. Lupin interrupted her argument with Remus, "They've been advising muggleborns to flee the country for weeks."

"If the ministry is building up an army then I want to fight." Lily stood up form her seat and looked around the room at the Lupin family, "Not run because someone says my blood is bad blood."

"Lily." Remus sighed, putting his fingers on his temples.

"What— _you're_ going to go?" Lily countered nastily.

His shoulder dropped and his dropped the letter on the able looking older than seventeen. Lily noticed how pale he was and she wondered when the next full moon was as the transformation always took a toll on his body. It was one of the reasons Lily was able to figure out his secret—and he was also a terrible liar.

"I have no choice, do I?" Remus struggled to look her directly in the eye, "Ministry Order."

* * *

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. For those of you wondering, James and Sirius do not interact with Lily until Chapter 4. Thanks so much for all the reblogs, reviews, and likes.

xxx

Petals


	3. Reflections of War

**3.**

 **someone you know is on your side and can set you free**

 **I can do that for you, if you believe in me.**

 **Why second guess what feels so right.**

Far off in the fields outside of the bustling streets of London, the Ministry's recruits had set up tents in a meadow surrounded by a green forest. Recruits were slowly filtering in as the Minister's proclamation was received, most young half bloods and pure bloods from respectable families. The young Captain in charge of the recruitment camp was young eighteen-year-old James Potter, recently graduated from the year long Auror academy. Instead of being used at the front lines, James was used as a baby-sitter for the new recruits.

"You're the only person I know who can control a room of fifteen cracked miscreants and live to tell the tale." Moody had snarled when he'd dared complain.

A good-looking man, with black messy hair and a faint outline of a beard he'd once grown to tease his mum, James was the youngest on the Auror force. A fact his best mate Sirius was always too happy to remind him of. Even still, he was doing a great job leading the new recruits of the Auror Scouts despite Colbie's discreet dislike for James.

Colbie was the Minister's left-hand woman. She basically wiped the Minister's arse if it came down too it. James _really_ disliked her. Colbie watched his every move and never missed a chance to tell him when he was doing something wrong or when he was being stupid. James was apparently stupid all the time if one listened to Colbie complain enough to Frank Longbottom.

Sirius, James' best friend and second in command, was at his side currently going over the new list of recruits coming in on Monday morning. In front of them, the new scouts from two weeks before were practicing stunners and disarming. Sirius paused from his reading of the names and hit James' arm. James heard the worry in Sirius' tone when he addressed him not as Captain—but as James.

"Remus' name is on this list, mate."

"Remus _Lupin_?" James ripped the recruitment list from Sirius and indeed saw Remus' name scribbled towards the bottom, "But he can't!"

"Why would the Ministry willingly try and train a werewolf?" Sirius hissed back, "Even one as tame as Remus?"

"Whoever made the list obviously wasn't clued in on Remus' affliction." James muttered then drew a hand through his messy black hair in frustration, "I know Remus will come too. He wouldn't want to seem cowardly."

Sirius agreed with a deep grunt, "What will you do if he does come? There's no proper place for a werewolf here. This is no Hogwarts."

James frowned, pushing his glasses up his nose, "Find him before he makes it into camp on Monday? I'll talk to him."

"James." Sirius murmured heatedly, "He's our _best_ mate. We can't let anything happen to him."

James' shoulders dropped with the weight of the news, "I won't."

Siirus nudged him against and pointed to a newcomer in their midst. James raised his head and smiled when he saw his cousin Jamie smirking at him. James was in the middle of trying to protect a lot of people he cared about, including the woman who walked up to him with a cool and confident grin. Her tan face was young and her brown eyes were sparkling brightly as she practically danced over to James.

"Jamie," he said pleasurably, standing up so he could hug her.

Jamie flipped her brunette braid back over her shoulder and addressed him quickly, "How are the new recruits treating you?"

"Not as well as the front lines are treating you." James eyed a new scar on her left cheek.

Jamie's brown eyes glared at him with a motherly look, "Don't worry about me, James. I'm fine."

James ruffled his black hair and stuck his tongue out at his older cousin, "Why are you here Jamie?"

"I came to ask you to owl this out for me," she passed him a letter, "I'm headed into the caverns for a while with Archie McKinnon's group tomorrow and I want to make sure my little Abby gets a letter from her mum."

James nodded. McKinnon had the best group of recruits and Colbie had decided they ought to go help the front lines before the Death Walkers got too close to the underground springs. Jamie handed James the letter and then wrapped her arms around her cousin's neck. James wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek.

"Ugh," Jamie pushed him off her with a sound of disgust, "Don't get all lovey-dovey, James. I'll see you in a few weeks."

James frowned at her, despite the twinkle in his own eyes, "Sirius won't let me hug and kiss him, so you're the next best alternative."

"Merlin, I'm the next best after that idiot?" Jamie rolled her eyes playfully as she pointed at a leering Sirius, "Get yourself a girlfriend already."

"No girls to have my eyes on—" he gestured around the field and indeed; Jamie was the only female on the field.

"He's so damn picky Jamie, that even if there _were_ girls here, he'd probably pass over them unless their name happened to rhyme with filly."

Jamie barked a laugh and sent Sirius a amusing smile while James flushed red and turned to glare at his Auror Scouts pointedly. Sirius often liked to bring up Lily Evans from their Hogwarts house into conversation when girls were the prime subjects. Even _if_ James had never officially asked the girl out, Sirius knew loved teasing James about his crush on the redhead. Of course, James hadn't seen or spoken to her in over a year but since he'd shown interest in few witches, Lily Evans was Sirius' favorite topic around James.

Jamie sent James one more grin and softly punched him in the arm, "I'll see you boys in June." Jamie promised before walking off the field into the trees "Don't get into too much trouble."

"Stay safe!" James shouted after his cousin, holding on tight to her letter.

"You worry too much!" she shouted back.

James had a right to worry; they were in the middle of a war.

 _~~~you must be true to your heart~~~_

"Lily."

Lily rolled over on her mattress and watched as her father opened the door slowly and peeked his head around. Petunia was in the bathroom next door trying to sing and failing miserably. Petunia had a date with a matched gentleman tonight. Lily was planning on seeing Remus to return the book she'd borrowed, no gentleman had come knocking for her.

The air was surprisingly warm today, the sun burning through the consistent fog, and Lily had left her windows open. She could smell flowers from the garden and the smell of the factory plant down the road. It was a strange smell but one she was used too after years in the old flat.

Her father came into her room looking upset and as he sat down beside her on the bed she saw he was holding a newspaper.

"What's wrong?" she asked her father, staring up from her pillow and not bothering to move.

"There was an attack on a theater outside of London, survivors are claiming they saw people throwing balls of fire at each other."

"Magic." Lily sat up in surprise and took the paper hungrily, seeing the headline stated that seventeen were dead from multiple causes. Heart attack was being claimed as the number one cause.

Lily knew better.

"I thought you said these dark wizards, I thought you said they wouldn't attack suburbs—" her father broke off, uncertain.

Lily pitied the man who was just trying to understand the world from which his daughter was thrust into at eleven. At first her parents had been so excited for their daughter—so proud. Then, every summer, Lily would come home with more and more strange stories. Girls getting attacked in bathrooms, boys saying mean words to her in the hallways, and whispers of a man who wanted to take over her world with dark magic.

The war in her magical world was finally reaching into the _normal_ world her parents were trying to protect her in.

"Dad," she said softly, "You can't protect me from everything."

He smiled sadly, "You're my little girl." He said, putting a hand on her cheek, "I'm supposed to protect you from evil witches and bad guys in masks." Then he sighed, "But you are more capable of protecting you, than I am."

Lily wrapped her arms around her father, "As long as I lay low, no one will be the wiser you're hiding a muggleborn refugee in your house." She sighed into his shoulder as she continued hugging him, "I'm sorry I ruined my prospects with the matchmaker."

"I could care less about a matchmaker when there's the chance that my little girl isn't safe." He kissed her forehead, "Your mother and I _are_ proud of you. We hope you know that. We just wish we could find a way for you…we wish you didn't have to hide."

Lily smiled sadly. She wished she didn't have to hide either. In fact, she was quite tired of hiding.

That afternoon turned rainy and reflected Lily's mood as she knocked on Remus Lupin's door. She'd promised to stop by with his borrowed book and to take tea with Mrs. Lupin. He opened his door with a small smile as she held out the book with the newspaper her father had brought her that morning on top. He read the headline and then frowned deeply.

"My mother was just talking about this." He muttered, pushing the door open with his back so she could come in as his eyes skimmed the article.

Remus' mother was home and baking in the small kitchen. She smiled at the sight of Lily, always friendly. Remus took Lily's coat and hung it beside the fire pit to stay warm.

"I don't understand this weather." Remus' mother muttered, "It was so sunny this morning."

Lily sat down at the table and saw a piece of paper resting on it. She saw the top line calling for the attention of the residents of the household. She knew she shouldn't read more of the generalized parchment but she realized where she recognized it. It was a recruitment notice.

"By order of the Ministry one witch or wizard from each eligible family must report to…" Lily whispered and Remus raced forward to grab the paper before she could finish reading.

"Wait!" Lily demanded quickly as Remus stuffed the paper in his back pocket, "What was, that! Remus?"

Remus' face was white and suddenly Remus' mother looked abashed.

"I told you to move the paper." She muttered to her son.

"It must have fallen from my pocket." Remus muttered back, eyeing Lily with difficulty.

"What's going on?" Lily asked quickly, looking between the two with misunderstanding.

Neither Remus nor his mother seemed to know what to say to her. Lily ran flustered fingers through her red hair and looked back and forth between the pair.

"The Death Walkers have infiltrated the catacombs beneath London."

A man wearing a coat entered from the bedroom in the back. He looked tired and his giant moleskin coat hid the fact that he looked thinner than when Lily had last seen him. Mr. Lupin was a magical creature's expert and spent more time away from home than he did in it. If Remus didn't have Mr. Lupin's ragged hair Lily would've never considered Mr. Lupin as a part of the family because unlike his wife and Remus, he was a rather large man.

"Lily doesn't know about the caverns." Remus muttered, "She's muggleborn."

Mr. Lupin sat down at the table beside Lily and grumbled, "I'm sure as a muggleborn, she's familiar with her own history." At Lily and Remus' blank stares he chuckled, "Wizards and witches weren't always fables and fairy tales in her world. The caverns were built a long time ago, before wizards kept historical documents, to serve as a safe place for us to practice magic. The caverns lead to different sections of London, including right into the Ministry of Magic."

"Wait, who are the Death Walkers?" Lily asked, "Are they Death Eaters?"

"Unmarked Eaters, most of 'em anyways." Remus' father grunted as Mrs. Lupin set a bowl of soup in front of him, "Used to go unspotted above and below the streets."

"Who's building up an army?" Lily asked desperately, fishing for more information, "The Ministry?"

"The Death Walkers are trying to infiltrate the Ministry." Mr. Lupin said gruffly.

"Why?" all eyes fell on Lily.

"No one knows why, dear." Remus' mother said softly, sadly, "The Minister herself has issued a State of Emergency."

"I want to help." Lily demanded instantly, without thinking.

"You're muggleborn." Remus reminded her softly, also sitting at the table beside his father.

"So?" Lily said, putting her hands on her hips and glaring at him.

"You're not allowed." Mr. Lupin interrupted her argument with Remus, "They've been advising muggleborns to flee the country for weeks."

"If the ministry is building up an army then I want to fight." Lily stood up form her seat and looked around the room at the Lupin family, "Not run away because someone says my blood is bad blood."

"Lily." Remus sighed, putting his fingers on his temples.

"What— _you're_ going to go?" Lily countered nastily, then immediately regretted her words when Remus shut down.

His shoulder dropped and his dropped the letter on the able looking older than seventeen. Lily noticed how pale he was and she wondered when the next full moon was as the transformation always took a toll on his body. It was one of the reasons Lily was able to figure out his secret—and he was also a terrible liar.

"I have no choice, do I?" Remus struggled to look her directly in the eye, "Ministry Order."

Suddenly, Mrs. Lupin burst into tears and left the room quickly. Lily immediately regretted snooping on the letter and forcing her opinion into it. The Lupin's obviously took a hit knowing their son was being forced into a war that would likely get him killed by either side.

Not many magical folk trusted werewolves.

"There are plenty of young men to fight for the Ministry." Lily said loudly, changing the tone of the room, "They don't need you."

"It will be an honor to protect my friends and my family." Remus countered back, but not without a look at his father who was watching this exchange with a pained face.

"So you'll die for honor?" Lily crossed her arms at her friend, feeling tears prick her eyes as she realized Remus was serious.

He was going to go.

He was going to fight.

"I will die doing what's right." Remus said fiercely, grabbing her coat and throwing it at her, "Would you mind going home?" he snapped just as nastily, "I need to calm my mum back down."

Frustrated, Lily turned on her heel, trying to hide the fact she was crying, "Remus, this isn't a schoolyard we're talking about—this is a war."

"I can't have my dad go and leave my mother." Remus never looked more irritated, "Goodnight Lily."

Lily fumed, "But if you—"

"I know my place, it is time you learned yours."

Lily's shoulders shook as she swung open the front door and walked back out into the rain. Lily turned back once to see Remus arguing with his parents in the window of their small house. Mrs. Lupin was sobbing in Mr. Lupin's arms. The bowl of soup and the letter was left, forgotten on the table.

Lily knew why his mum was so upset. If anyone found out Remus was a werewolf it could mean trouble for everyone. Remus could end up in Azkaban. He could hurt someone, or worse, hurt himself. As his friend, Lily knew she couldn't let him go to the recruitment camp she'd seen on the paper. The Ministry needed able fighters, and Lily was just that.

Lily cared about Remus and she cared about his family. They had always been so kind to her, especially considering the past few days.

She knew what she was going to do. It was the only way she felt like she could save Remus and his family from what would come if Remus went to the recruitment camp.

Lily waited until she was sure the Lupin's had left their tiny house that night for what they believed would be one last dinner together. She snuck in, unlocking the front door with her wand in ease and disabling their intruder charm. Lily was thankful she'd practiced those charms hundreds of times for her parent's place.

The crumpled paper she was after lay on the kitchen table where Remus had left it. Lily picked the parchment up and saw it was inscribed to the Lupin family, which meant one of the Lupin's had to use it to get into the camp.

She bit her lip and wondered for a moment how far she was prepared to go to make sure Remus and his family wouldn't pay the cost of a war Remus didn't need to be in. After a moment she decided she'd leave Remus a way for him to know she was the one who took his place. So he wouldn't come after her when they'd realized what she'd done.

Lily stolstuffed the parchment into her pocket quickly as she raced back into Remus' tiny room. She grabbed the book she had only just returned along with one of Remus' old school uniforms stuffed in his trunk. Lily ran back out to the kitchen and put the book in the spot she'd stolen the paper. On top of the book she drew out her wand to conjure a beautiful flower covering it. A lily.

Lily raced away from the Lupin's house under the cover of the darkness. The rain had turned to a soft mist that covered the trees and made the path she ran down seem like a fairy tale. She was ready to make a change. She was ready to stop waiting around for the world to get better—she was going to make the world a better place.

She had to stop at home to get some more clothes, she didn't know how she was going to sneak into the army but she was going to do it, muggleborn or not. In the end, it was safer for Lily to go into war than it was for Remus.

 _~~~true to your heart~~~_

Remus woke up in the morning aching from the full moon that was fast approaching. How was he going to explain to the other recruits the fact that he turned into a monster each month? Not all people were as understanding as James, Peter, and Sirius…and Lily. Remus winced as he got out of bed and thought of his young friend. He felt horrible for the things he'd said to her but he understood why she was so worried for him.

It was the same reason his father had to comfort his mother as she fell asleep crying after they went out for dinner one last time together.

There was no place on earth that was socially acceptable for a werewolf—especially a warzone.

Remus grabbed the sack he'd packed with his spare clothes and headed to the kitchen, half asleep. He looked for the cursed piece of paper that had arrived yesterday morning but dropped his bag what he found in it's place. A book that he'd let Lily borrow yesterday that he distinctly remembered putting back in his room and on top of that book was an example of a unique magic he'd only seen twice before.

"Lily." He whispered in confusion.

Remus walked slowly over to the flower on top of the retuned book and turned it over in his hands. The golden colored lily was just like the one she'd left James once after he'd won his final quidditch match. She'd also given her favorite professor a flower that magically turned into a goldfish as a going away gift…when she'd left Hogwarts.

Remus dropped the flower and his eyes searched frantically for the recruitment notice. It was gone.

"No," he whispered horrified, "No!"

"Remus?" his parents ran into the kitchen now, worry flickered on their already tired faces.

Lily had run straight into war with _his_ recruitment notice.

Remus covered his face with his hands and cried.

He couldn't go after her. He couldn't reveal her to the officers at camp. Muggleborns were a direct fault in the war. As much as the Ministry would probably love having the extra numbers on the front lines it was known muggleborns were targeted highly by the other side and it was even more dangerous for them. For that reason, the Minister had made it against the law for Lily's kind to be involved on the front lines.

Remus exchanged a worried glance with his parents who were holding onto each other, staring at him in disbelief. Remus couldn't miss the relief in his mothers eyes or the dread in his father's stiff chin. Remus was safe but Lily, Remus shaved a sigh, Lily was in danger.

If Remus exposed Lily, she would be sent on a one-way carpet to Azkaban—or worse.

* * *

 **Next time:**

"Sirius you're-" Lily started but Sirius cut her off mid sentence.

"Intimidating, awe-inspiring?" he grinned a schoolboy grin.

"I was going to say, _bleeding_ , but that works too." She pointed to his arm and he grimaced.

"Ah, yes that," Sirius lifted up his arm, "Hazards of the job. Got my arse kicked out on the practice field for telling my Captain that he was a pansy."

* * *

If I get five reviews, I can promise an update tomorrow :)

Yes, I'm bribing. Don't hold it against me. I'm an attention lover. That, and the next chapter is done and ready for your reading pleasure!

xxx

Petals


	4. Reflections of Allusion

**4.**

 **You must be swift as a coursing river,**

 **With the force of a great typhoon,**

 **All the strength of a raging fire,**

 **Mysterious as the dark side of the moon**

Gregory McKenzie led the wizards behind him with ease despite the underground tunnels being darker than the bleakest night. Wandlight made shadows fall on skeletons of wizards and witches from the dark ages—long dead from plague or dueling. The skeletons reminded the Walkers of the dangers of the caves. The floor was slippery with wet moss that smelled awful but it covered their footsteps from any trespasser into their midst.

They'd heard Aurors a day before but hadn't run into them. Auror scouts were also in the tunnels; they were much louder than the Aurors—and naive. The tunnels were a maze and Gregory only knew the proper way thanks to his owl Addie. The black owl was trained specially for finding her way through a maze such as the catacombs under London.

The tunnels were left over from the 14th century witches and wizards hiding from muggles. Gregroy found it ironic he was now using the tunnels as a way for wizard-kind to rise above the muggles and rule the world. The small army was sent to infiltrate the Ministry quietly and quickly by the Dark Lord. Unfortunately, spies (who had been quickly disposed of) had gotten the original plan to intrude the Ministry and now they had to hurry before they were apprehended.

Ahead there were noises that paused Gregory's swift walk. His owl screeched a sudden warning and something dropped down, shrieking, from the caverns above. A body landed with a _thunk_ only kilometers from Gregory. He saw the outline of a young woman, struggling to get up. Behind Gregory his Death Walkers stopped short in surprise. Wands were raised quickly.

A voice called down to the body from above, "Jamie?"

Gregory stops and motions to his flanking guards, a wicked wandsman named Quinn and a transfiguration expert named Arnold.

"Auror Scouts," Arnold snarled, whipping out his wand, "No Auror would be this discernible."

Gregory licked his teeth in displeasure. Auror Scouts were fresh from recruitment and not as quick as a fully trained Auror but Scouts meant Aurors were not far behind. Another body shouted as it fell from above and landed beside the groaning girl. The caverns above must've been shattering from age. Some of the caverns were rotting and the floor could fall out from underneath any of the long hallways. The second scout that fell from above looked shocked at what they'd stumbled upon.

"Gregory McKenzie." The scout stood up quickly, nudging his companion on the floor to do the same.

Gregory nodded at Quinn and a wand was slashed aggressively in the air. The two Auror Scouts were thrown against the old rock walls with a shattering bang. Gregory walked slowly up to them and noted how young they looked. They couldn't be older than twenty.

"Nice work, Scouts." He chuckled darkly, "You found the Death Walkers."

The first scout who had fallen was a young woman, eyes vicious and spiteful, "The Aurors will stop you."

Gregory grabbed the girl by the shirt collar and pulled her into his face. She winced, and turned her cheek, a long brown braid falling over her shoulder.

"Stop us? They invited us. By the Minister announcing equal rights for muggleborns on the dawn of the new age, the Minister challenged our Lord's strength and power." The woman was pulling her head away from Gregory's spitfire speech, "I'm here to make sure nothing get's in my Lord's way."

Gregory threw the female scout to the ground and she tried crawling away in terror across the cold ground as Quinn pointed his wand the boy when he got up and ran after the female.

Gregory called out as they ran up the caverns, "Go! Tell your Minister to send her strongest armies." He snickered threateningly, "I'm ready."

Ahead, they heard the Scouts scrambling to find an escape route in the cavern.

Gregory scratched his beard and glanced sideways at Arnold who watched the scene with unimpressed eyes, "How many Auror Scouts does it take to deliver a message?"

Arnold raised his wand in understanding, "One."

There was a flash of green light that zoomed down the hallway and hit one of them in the back. A girl's cry was heard screaming the boys name in dread. The boy was most certainly dead. Gregory smiled in the dark, knowing that his plan was going to work.

 _~~~hope he doesn't see right through me~~~_

Lily felt like throwing up as she stared down at the patch of tents set up outside of the forest she'd apparated too. Other recruits had already passed her, heading towards a gold colored tent to sign in. Some of them smiled at her, others just stared at her oddly. Check in was promptly at 8am according to the letter she'd stolen from Remus.

It was 8:01am.

Lily swallowed and scratched her newly chopped off hair. Of course, she'd only done an illusion charm to make herself look like a boy. Lily wouldn't dare take to her long red hair; in fact she wasn't even sure if she was going to go down into camp pretending to be a boy.

It was her original plan, to pretend to be Remus' boy cousin. She touched her newly cropped red hair and hoped she didn't look as ridiculous as she felt. She didn't know the first thing about being a boy and here she was, planning on masquerading as Remus' cousin. She knew they'd take her more seriously if she just played off that she was a boy. People didn't tend to questions boys as much as they questioned girls.

Talking to herself, she cleared her throat, "Okay, _Ahem_ , excuse me, where do I sign in? I see you have a wand. I have one too. They're very useful and magical," Lily bit her lip as she mishandled pulling her wand from out of the pocket of the shorts she stole from Remus' trunk and it fell beside her feet.

Someone in the trees laughed so loud that Lily turned and simply covered her face in disbelief that someone was already laughing at her. This had been a horrible first plan.

"Merlin, _what_ are you trying to do?" a voice cuts in, laughter still prevalent, "You know you're late for check in?"

Lily looked up and couldn't hide the surprise from her face when she recognized the laughing boy, "Sirius."

The boy furrowed his eyebrows quickly, hand going towards his wand, "How do you know who I am?"

That's when Lily remembered her masquerade. She dropped her face so he couldn't look at her clearly and a red blush rose on her cheeks as she realized that her idea wouldn't work with people who already knew her. Especially someone like Sirius, who knew her just as well as Remus did.

"Oh, uhm," she cleared her throat, "I went to school with you."

"Did you?" he countered, staring at her, "What's your name?"

"Liam Lupin." Lily said quickly, without thinking.

Black rose an eyebrow, "Lupin did you say?"

"Yes." She piped.

"I wasn't aware Remus Lupin had a scrawny git of a brother." Black stepped closer so Lily kept her head bent, "And I know secrets about Lupin that would make your skin crawl."

"Cousins." She murmured, he was silent and she dared look up…which happened to be a big mistake.

Sirius grey eyes met her green ones and it was like a light went off because his mouth opened in revelation. Lily's shoulders dropped immediately as her masquerade was figured out by the clever man standing against a tree in front of her.

"Evans?"

She winced noticeably enough for a grin to spread so far across his face he looked mad.

"Agrippa's sake, _Evans_!"

He laughed a great booming laugh that warmed her bones and he raced forward and enveloped her into a giant hug. She couldn't help but return his warm hug, as his laughter was contagious. She let her arms wrap tightly around his neck as he spun her around in a circle, still laughing.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, excited.

All Lily said as he continued hugging her, "Uhm…"

"Merlin this is great," he pulled back to rub his eyes and stare at her more clearly, "What's with the hair?" he glanced down at her chest, "And the, erm, bondage?"

Discouraged, Lily threw her hands up in the air and rolled her eyes, "Oh, whom was I kidding? It would have taken a miracle for me to sneak into an army full of _Aurors_." Lily angrily pointed her wand at her head.

The spell helping her feign her gender fell.

Red hair fell thick about her shoulders and down her back in waves. Lily pulled at the belt she was wearing so her pants weren't as baggy and stuffed her wand in the pocket. She reached inside her shirt and tugged at the bandage, allowing herself to breathe normally again.

Sirius grinned wolfishly as he watched her process to un-boy herself, "Evans you _sneaky_ little vixen, how did you hear about the recruitment?"

"Remus got a letter in the mail." Judging by the look on Sirius' face he'd known Remus was recruited, "I figured it was better me, then him."

Sirius looked surprised, "You were going to sneak into camp as a Lupin in order to save my best mate from Azkaban?"

"Wouldn't you have done the same?"

"Yes." He stated firmly, "But I wouldn't have picked you as a cross dresser. Why not just sneak in as a girl?"

"People don't tend to question boys as much as girls," Lily told him sincerely.

"Unfortunately for you," Sirius slapped her on her back, "You were a sight for sore eyes as a boy."

"And I know Remus doesn't deserve this or want to be here." Lily ignored his jab at her disguise, "I'm going to help him. No matter _what_ I have to do."

Sirius whistled and took her shoulder in his hand; "I can never thank you enough for being there for him when James, Peter, and I couldn't be."

Lily sighed, depressed, and leaned against a tree, "I don't see how I can help him if I can't even get past you. What if someone else recognizes me?"

"No one will—" and then he paused as if remembered some very important information, his face brightened, "Wow." He said happily, "You have no idea how happy I am to see—"

"A muggleborn?" Lily raised her eyebrows.

Sirius grinned again, "Didn't I just hear you ask for a miracle?" Sirius stuck a hand out, "I'll be your personal guardian, helping you through whatever you're planning on accomplishing through this cover-up."

He shot out an arm to hug her again but Lily spotted something on his sleeve that he must not have noticed.

"Sirius you're-" Lily started but Sirius cut her off mid sentence.

"Intimidating, awe inspiring?" he grinned a schoolboy grin.

"I was going to say, _bleeding_ , but that works too." She pointed to his arm and he grimaced.

"Ah, yes that," Sirius lifted up his arm, "Hazards of training. Got my arse kicked out on the practice field for telling my Captain that he was a pansy."

"You haven't changed much from school, have you?" she shook her head and took out her wand to wave it at his new scar.

Sirius thanked her with a touch on her hand, "I've missed you. But one question?"

"What?"

He pointed to her hair, "Your boy cut threw me off for a moment but it's still that gorgeous red…how were you hoping to pass check-in with hair as red as a Weasley but a recruitment form that says you're a Lupin?"

"Ahhhhhh." Lily paused, thinking.

Sirius snorted cynically, "That's a brilliant plan Lil, one-way ticket to Azkaban for fraud where some pureblood would love to give you a dementors kiss for free..."

"Okay, okay." She admitted, "It wasn't a great plan, but I had no choice. I couldn't let Remus fight. He's got enough—"

"Problems?" Sirius offered and Lily nodded, "Well as Remus' friend I certainly appreciate you helping him—so _I've_ got a plan to help you."

"You do?" she looked at him optimistically.

"I happen to be taken _very_ seriously by the new Captain of the camp."

"The same Captain that made you bleed?" Lily raised an eyebrow doubtfully.

"You'll like him," Sirius countered with a wicked gleam in his eye, "He's _quite_ the charmer."

"I could care less about charming your Captain." Lily said with a roll of her eyes, "I just want to help fight the Death Eaters."

"Death Walkers."

"Whatever."

Sirius laughed and pulled out his wand from inside his black robes.

"We'll dye your hair black, yeah?" Sirius looked at her red hair, "No one will be the wiser, especially since your hair is longer than it was in school."

"What does my hair length have to do with anything?" Lily pondered.

"Nothing," Sirius said avoiding her eyes as he touched the tip of his wand to her head, "You just look older, is all. I don't think you need to run around pretending to be a boy, at the very least."

"Whatever you think will help disguise me from anyone else who might know me." Lily stated, fingering her new black hair in awe.

"There's only one or two from Hogwarts who might be able to look past your hair," Sirius tucked her chin and looked her in the eyes, "It's your eyes that might—never mind—I'll tell him you're Remus' cousin. He'll believe me." But Sirius seemed to be convincing himself of that, more than assuring Lily.

"Maybe my hair is too black if I'm trying to be Remus' cousin." Lily muttered.

Sirius withdrew a mirror from his pocket and showed her. Lily's heart jumped when she saw the pale beauty in the mirror. The dark new colors surrounding her face made her eyebrows arch dramatically and even made her green eyes seem sharper. Lily thought she looked less kind, _tougher_ , even though a temper was typically associated with red hair. She also looked older than seventeen, more like she was nineteen, even with her rounded cheeks. The reflection in the mirror stared back at her calmly, as if waiting for her to smile.

Lily didn't know if she ought to smile at the reflection, so distorted and fake in Sirius' mirror.

"You'd look plain with blond hair." Sirius muttered, picking up her bag and motioning her to follow, "And besides, no one's ever met Remus' whole family. His parents are withdrawn from the other Lupins."

The camp was tiny, only about twenty tents in all. Some people were cooking by a tent that smelled like beef and something fried. Sirius touched her black hair with a guiding hand to the line where people were checking in. The pressure from his guiding hand was firm, his fingertips digging into her back.

"We've been getting people in every two weeks, but your group will be our last." Sirius explained as they stood at the back of the line.

Lily eyed the boy picking his nose in front of them and scowled.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Sirius grinned as the man dropped pasta into his lap while he was busy digging in his nose.

Lily making a face of disgust and continuing to walk, "Men are disgusting."

"And to think you were going to try and masquerade as one." Sirius laughed gleefully, "Thank goodness I came just in time to help you."

"Why were you just chilling in the forest?" Lily asked, crossing her arms as she stared down another boy who looked at her like she was fresh meat.

"Ah, no reason." Sirius lied to her as he gazed at the boy staring at Lily, " _Oi_ Goldstein. Eyes to your feet."

The boy, Goldstein, dropped his eyes and walked into the tent behind him.

"He acts like he's never seen a girl before." Lily snapped, crossing her arms over her chest.

"They're men, and we haven't had a lot of woman recruits, certainly none as pretty as you."

"I'm not exactly-" Lily started.

Sirius cut her off, "shove off Evans, you're gorgeous and every single one of these boys is already planning your wedding."

Lily stopped complaining and watched a boy with red hair lift up his shirt outside one of the tents and proudly showed a dragon tattoo etched onto his skin to his surrounding mates. Lily wrinkled her nose. Sirius snorted, flipping hair back coolly.

"Look, this tattoo will protect me from harm." The red hair boy announced proudly, "It worked today in the field. McDonald shot a curse at me and I missed it!"

Sirius waved his wand in the redhead's direction and the man hit the ground in an instant, groaning. Lily winced and the men around laughed. One of them high-fived Sirius.

Sirius was laughing as he walked over to the tent to help the man back up, "Just keeping you on your feet Kion."

"More like off his feet," Another boy laughed as the one called Kion dusted off his clothes angrily.

Sirius smirked handsomely, "I hope you can get your money back."

Lily sighed to herself. Sirius definitely hadn't changed much from Hogwarts and still loved to cause trouble. The number of times he'd gotten detention was ridiculous. Sirius patted Kion's shoulder before waltzing back over to where Lily stood waiting.

"It's all attitude." Sirius told her when he spotted her less than impressed look, "Be tough and don't take anyone's shite."

Just then the man with the dragon tattoo knocked Sirius down with a wave of his wand, leering.

"Now whose off their feet, Black?"

"Hey!" Lily snapped, spinning to raise her wand on the boy angrily.

He immediately started screaming from pain as boils erupted on his skin and popped open from the pressure. Sirius laughed, noting Lily's signature jinx, until Kion sent his wand In Lily's direction and Sirius pushed her out of the way and into a tent. The wayward spell hit a boy wearing white robes who immediately sprouted hair like a gorilla. The boy in white spun around angrily, waving his own wand. All of a sudden it was like an all out brawl as spells flew in every direction from all the recruits.

Lily struggled to untangle herself rom tent ropes as Sirius leaned against the tent with a groan. They stared out at the masses as a boy erupted out in chicken noises and another was breathing fire like a dragon. Sirius whistled through his teeth and Lily pushed back her newly dyed hair in disbelief.

"He's gonna murder me."

"Who?"

Just then, from the golden tent that everyone had been checking in at, a man emerged looking quite annoyed when he saw the fighting pit happening before him. At his side, a woman wearing red lipstick paused before smirking condescendingly and disappearing on the spot. Lily held onto the tent ropes in surprise at the sight of James Potter. He looked older, his jaw chiseled as he stared out angrily at the crowd. Lily gripped Sirius' shoulder as Sirius stood up and looked guilty.

A man in a cloak appeared behind James and whispered something to him. James nodded slightly and pushed his glasses up his nose.

" _Scouts_!" he shouted in a commanding voice that Lily hasn't heard since quidditch matches on cold days at Hogwarts.

She stood up, one hand still on Sirius. She watched as his eyes found their target. His hazel eyes narrowed at the sight of Sirius, who waved awkwardly from the tent he and Lily had been blasted onto. She waited for him to turn and look at her. She waited for his eyes to light up and his smile to take over his face, just like it did when they were at school together…but he doesn't see her. He looks right through her as all the Auror Scouts froze in their spots and looked over at James Potter.

Kion pointed at Sirius, "He started it!"

Sirius laughed uncomfortably and saluted James' furious glare, "Hey, Captain."

Lily's eyes widened and she sucked in a breath. James Potter was the Captain of the camp? Sirius' eyes shot down at her for a fraction of a second as if he realized her sudden discomfort. All the new recruits backed away with a glare at Sirius. Lily cowered in Sirius' shadow as he grinned halfheartedly at the Captain.

In her head, her brain is screaming to James to look at her but her heart is hoping he won't see through her hair dye. James would send her walking in a heartbeat.

"How am I supposed to gain Colbie's respect if my second in command is starting fights with the Auror Scouts?" James asked Sirius, taking a few short steps over to his best mate.

"Colbie's respect isn't exactly anything you _really_ want…" Sirius muttered and James huffed and looked down at Lily finally.

"Just showing the newest recruit around." Sirius said swiftly when James' face twisted at the sight of her.

She smiled, "Hey." She offered, almost playfully, like they were still in school.

James just stared at her, his eyes swopping over her hair and skin and then resting on her eyes, like he didn't believe what he was seeing. The way his eyes stared dutifully into hers, Lily almost forgot he had no idea who she was. James' hand instantly jumped to his hair awkwardly and he cleared his throat, looking away from her welcoming face.

"A girl?" he says next, almost in sorrow.

Anger coursed through Lily at his sexism, "I could beat you in a duel, _easily_." She tempted him to let her show her wand work.

Lily's wit seemed to set something off in James and he snapped, "I don't need anyone starting duels in my camp!"

Lily frowned, "Sorry." She crossed her arms, not realizing that James had obviously gotten dumber as well as _blinder_ during his time in the Auror force.

And here she was thinking it would've been the opposite. She had half imagined James to turn and give her a similar reaction as Sirius had. Instead he acted like he had no idea _who_ she was.

As if Sirius could read her mind, he grinned and sent her a thumbs up.

James sighed and rubbed his eyebrows, "What's your name?"

Lily suddenly stumbled over her words, "Ahh, I, uhhh, I, uh—"

The other man who had come out of the tent with James barked, "Your commanding officer just asked you a question."

Lily looked terrified at Sirius, for help, "Uhh, I've got a name." James looked back, exasperated, "Sirius!" she hissed at her friend.

James sighed against his hand, "I didn't ask for his name. I asked for yours."

Lily was originally going to go as Liam but she couldn't now that Sirius had told her cross dressing was no help. Lily almost said her name, but she wondered if hat was the best idea...someone might make the connection.

Lily stood there like a deer in the headlights until Sirius spoke up, quickly.

"Lia Lupin."

Swallowing she decided on the change, "Lia Lupin." She agreed, sending Sirius a thankful look.

James looked to be in suspicion, "Sirius?" he looked at his second in command.

"It's true." Sirius shrugged effortlessly. At James' questioning glare Sirius added more forcefully, "Seems our problems were solved for us, Prongs."

James sighed and took off his glasses, polishing them on his shirt, "Okay gentlemen, thanks to your new friend Lupin, you'll spend tonight writing me an essay on why we don't fight in camp. A whole parchment. And tomorrow, the real work begins."

All the new recruits glared at her and Kion looked like he wanted to jump her in a dark ally. Lily glared at Sirius but he was too busy having a silent interaction with James. Lily looked at James and noted the bags under his eyes. She hadn't seen him look like that since his father passed away. Worry rushed through her but she couldn't say anything because Lia Lupin didn't know anything about James Potter.

But Lily wasn't sure she knew this James either.

Lily heard James whisper, "I told them no more girls, not since we lost Jamie in the caverns."

Sirius looked back at Lily guilty, "Ah, Lil-Lia. Go to the Mess Tent."

"The what?" she asked.

Sirius quickly searched the crowd and pointed at a pale boy with a cardigan and horn rimmed glasses.

"Alex, take Lia to the mess tent." Sirius barked.

The boy came forward and smiled the first kind smile at Lily, motioning for her to follow. Lily shot Sirius one more look before following the small boy (he couldn't really be called a man) to the tent that smelled like fried food.

Lily sat with quiet Alex in the mess hall, writing the paper James requested. Alex seemed to shy to talk to her because every time she tried he just muttered inarticulately. Candlelight waned as the night drew on and she was finally joined by other recruits coming from their training classes.

They sat around talking and laughing as dinner was served and then cleaned up by a kind old woman in orange robes. Other new recruits, most of them quiet and glaring at Lily because of the paper they were now forced to write, joined Lily and Alex. Kion flexed his muscles in her direction more than once. Lily struggled to not turn him into a armadillo.

Soon she was the only one left. Since she hadn't officially checked in she hadn't been given a tent to sleep in. Alex was the last one to leave her and he muttered that he'd see her in the morning for their first class. Lily watched him go with a frown and was about to go ask the nice old woman in orange what to do when Sirius appeared.

"Lupin!" she almost forgot he was talking to her.

"Sirius why'd James seem so upset?" she quickly asked as Sirius came to sit at her table.

"No reason," Sirius lied before throwing an arm around her, "Besides, James is none the wiser to you." He announced proudly, "You are Remus' cousin now and forever."

"Thanks Sirius." She mumbled, staring at the parchment she'd written.

"What's wrong?" he asked at her less than enthusiastic tone.

"He looked right through me." She mumbled sadly.

"James shouldn't know who you are." Sirius said empathetically, "He could get in just as much trouble as you if it was discovered you're a muggleborn."

"What about you?" Lily asked, "I don't want you getting in trouble."

"Trouble's my middle name." Sirius waved her concerns away, "Anyways, we have got to work on your people skills. No more starting duels, Lil, James just about roasted me in his tent earlier."

Lily stared at him flabbergasted then hit him, "That was _you_!"

"James doesn't need to know that!" Sirius grimaced when she hit him again, "He's already pissed that I let Remus' girl cousin in. He's writing a very lengthy letter to Remus now."

Lily bit her lip, "Well, that'll be an interesting letter for Remus to receive."

Sirius grinned wickedly, "He doesn't know what you did?"

"I think he probably has an idea?" she said awkwardly.

He laughed and stood up, dragging her up with him, "Come on, you can stay with me. I've got an extra bunk in my tent since my roommate got pulled to the front lines."

Lily smiled up at Sirius, suddenly very thankful that out of anybody, she had him there to help her on this adventure.

 **Next time:**

"Am I late?" Lily asked, taking the oatmeal and blinking through her sleepy eyes.

Sirius chuckled as he stared at her, "No time to talk, eat."

Lily dutifully took a bite of the oatmeal, which was covered in brown sugar.

Sirius paced, talking like a mum on her child's first day of school, "Now remember, it's your first day of training so listen to your teacher."

Lily grinned, "You're telling me?"

Sirius lifted a skeptical eyebrow, "No back talk." He nodded his finger at her as she grinned nonsensically, "Play nice with the other kids, unless of course one of the other kids wanna fight, then you have to kick the other kid's arse."

"Shall I tell the Captain you encouraged me to fight?" Lily licked some sugar from her fingertips and Sirius frowned.

"Well," he said, "Maybe not. James was in a mood this morning."

"James seems to be in a mood a lot lately." Lily commented dryly, placing down her oatmeal and stretching as she got out of her cot.

Sirius avoided her point.

* * *

 **Thanks for all the reviews! You guys easily got me over five! I love that you guys are enjoying my adaption! Let me know what you thought of James and Lily's first meeting? More Jily with the next update :)**

 **xxx**

 **Petals**


	5. Reflections of A Girl

**5.**

 **You can guess what we've missed the most since we went off to war.**

 **What do we want?**

 **A girl worth fighting for.**

The next morning Sirius woke her up with a smile and steaming oatmeal from the mess tent she was now able to avoid. She could've kissed him, except for the fact that he put blueberries on top of the oatmeal. She wrinkled her nose and picked the berries from her oatmeal. Lily had never liked the fruit. Sirius leered when he saw her picking around the blue fruit.

"Eat around it, you haven't got time to be picky." He chastised.

"Am I late?" Lily asked, taking the oatmeal and blinking through her sleepy eyes.

Sirius chuckled as he stared down at her, "No time to talk, eat."

Lily submissively took a bite of the oatmeal, which was also covered in brown sugar. She smiled as the sweet flavor assaulted her mouth and closed her eyes happily.

Sirius paced, talking like a mom on her child's first day of school, "Now remember, it's your first day of training so listen to your teacher."

Lily opened one eye to smile at him playfully, "You're telling me?"

Sirius lifted a skeptical eyebrow, "No back talk." He nodded his finger at her as she grinned nonsensically, "Play nice with the other kids, unless of course one of the other kids wanna fight, then you have to kick the other kid's arse."

"Shall I tell the Captain you encouraged me to fight?" Lily licked some sugar from her fingertips and Sirius frowned.

"Well," he said, thinking again, "Maybe not. James was in a mood this morning."

"James seems to be in a mood a lot lately." Lily said wryly, placing down her oatmeal and stretching as she got out of her cot.

Sirius avoided her point, "Don't talk with your mouth full."

Lily rolled her eyes and buried her hands into her small knapsack, pulling out a blouse and shorts. Sirius eyed her choice, concerned.

"You need to realize that going out there dressed like a muggleborn isn't going to help your cover."

"It's these or Remus' school robes." Lily commented airily, "Now, leave so I can get dressed."

Sirius swept forward and grabbed her clothes, transfiguring them with a wave of his wand. The blouse turned into a tunic type robe and her shorts became pants that looked as if they'd be tightly fitted around her ankles. Lily sniffed unhappily.

"Just put them on," Sirius said, "I'd rather you not give James a heart attack on your first day."

"James?"

Sirius didn't answer as he left the tent to allow her to dress.

Then he shouted into the tent, "The boys are on their way to training."

"They what!?" Lily finished pulling on on her new pants quickly and she stumbled out the tent flaps, ruffled her black hair heatedly, "Sirius why didn't you wake me up earlier?!"

Lily tried to race out of the tent but Sirius grabbed her arm, "Wait, you forgot your wand!" Lily ran back into their tent, grabbed her wand, kissed Sirius' cheek, and then ran out of the tent. She began following the last few boys headed towards the outskirts of the tents. Sirius was following closely behind, looking quite enthusiastic for what was to follow.

Lily brushed her hair up into a ponytail; ignoring the weird look Sirius gave her as she did so. All the new recruits were standing in a line, staring at a pole that rose at least two stories high. Lily tried to sneak into line inconspicuously and failed. Someone spotted her before discreet Alex did. Kion grinned, devotedly ready to tease Lily.

"Looks like our new friend slept in this morning." He said, nodding to where Lily stood beside Alex.

"Morning." Lily squeaked, sidestepping away from Kion and towards Alex who looked mortified at her friendly smile.

James voice cut through the chatter like a sharp knife, "Scouts!"

Lily was impressed with how fast Kion turned around to look professional for the Captain. James didn't even look at Kion because his eyes were set on Lily, looking at her like she was the reason he had to get out of bed in the morning. That wasn't a good thing or a bad thing.

She smiled at him, despite herself.

"You will assemble swiftly and silently every morning." James walked down the line of soldiers, "Anyone who acts otherwise will answer to me."

"Ooooo, tough guy." A rough looking man with sharp black eyes high fived Kion.

James turned around with his wand pointing towards the man, "Mr. Goldstein."

All the recruits, including Lily, took a step back leaving Goldstein one step forward and in direct line of James.

James pointed at the pole they'd all been staring at when Lily had arrived and then pulled a white flag with the Ministry crest on it from his pocket. James used his wand to attach the flag to the top of the pole.

"Thank you for volunteering. Retrieve the flag."

Goldstein smirked, "I'll get that flag, four-eyes."

Lily snorted; Goldstein was going to regret his snark. Her smile faded when she saw James glaring at her for her snort. Goldstein pulled his wand from his pocket. James turned back to Goldstein.

James raised his eyebrows, "One moment, you seem to be misunderstanding something." Goldstein stared stupidly at James, "No magic." James responded to his glare with a cross of his arms and a smirk.

Goldstein stared foolishly at the pole, as did everyone else in the camp. Lily looked for a way to lower the flag but there was no lever system and James had used magic to stick the flag on the top of the pole.

"Anyone else want to have a try?"

Kion stepped forward and flexed his muscles and Lily couldn't help sharing a grin with Sirius who was at James' side. James noticed their interaction and Lily thought she imagined a smile flirt across his own face. Kion wrapped his arms around the pole and pulled himself up twice before falling to the ground. The pole was too awkward for their hands to get a good grip.

"It's impossible without magic." Someone hissed on the other side of quiet Alex.

Lily stared at the pole in confusion, _why was this important? Shouldn't they be learning to duel Death Eaters—Walkers? Whatever they were called._

James sighed and cleaned his glasses on is robes, "We've got a long way to go."

James made everyone try, with Lily trying last. She found her arms couldn't even reach around the pole and she wrinkled her nose as she stared up at the flag with a calculating look.

"Don't hurt yourself." Goldstein and Kion laughed.

Lily made sure to accidently drop her tray of mashed potatoes on their laps at lunch. Sirius was forced to have to make her scrub the entire tent floor; without magic. Luckily, six months with her parents had made her an expert at scrubbing. Unluckily, Kion and Goldstein got a kick out of her hard work and laughed as they passed on their way to the next class.

James was teaching the new recruits wand form. Lily came into the group late, after James had already started demonstrating. Two pots were levitating in front of James, with many red pots sitting around the recruits on the ground. Lily watched with interest as James used his surroundings to smash both pots with one spell.

James' wand waved in a low arch, hitting the first pot from the left, casting a counter reaction when bits of the first pot shattered the second pot. Goldstein looked unimpressed and Kion nudged him when he spotted Lily rejoin the class.

James had spotted her too.

"Lupin!" he called to her.

Lily froze and let her eyes find their Captain.

He looked her up and down before stating, "You try."

Lily bit her lip and slowly stepped forward, only to quickly find herself on the ground, moaning from the crash of her cheeks against the ground. Behind her, someone was coughing away a laugh. She glared back to see Kion giving her a malevolent grin. Lily looked up form the ground and saw James watching her closely. She blew her fly-away black hair from her eyes and pushed herself up to a standing position again.

James levitated the two pots and motioned for Lily to try.

Lily pointed her wand at the first pot and was about to shot a stunner at the first pot when James cleared his throat. Lily turned her eyes to him and he pointed to her feet.

"Proper wand form involves proper footing." He muttered, "Feet apart."

Lily pursed her lips and wiggled her feet so that they spread out slowly. Sirius put his hand over his eyes like he was embarrassed.

"More." James demanded when her feet only moved inches.

Lily kept her eyes fastened on James until her feet were almost falling into a split, "Better?" she asked sarcastically.

James' eyes were narrowed behind his glasses as Lily stared him down vigorously.

"Sirius." He snapped.

Sighed looked liked he wanted to die when James barked his name, "Yes, Captain?"

"Take Lupin for a run."

Sirius grabbed Lily by the arm and twisted her away from everyone as the boys whistled between their teeth. Lily pointed her wand at the first pot and it blew into pieces but missing the second pot because she'd hit the first from the wrong side. Her face was bright red in embarrassment at her childish display but she didn't care as Sirius dragged her away.

"What an absolute prat!" Lily roared as Sirius dragged her away urgently, "Who put a wand up _his_ arse?"

"Shove it Evans," Sirius muttered once they were on the edge of the trees, "Let's go for a run."

"Run?" Lily uttered, "How's that gonna—"

"Don't _make_ me shut you up."

Sirius began running ahead of her. With a huff, Lily ran after him, wincing as her ankles protesting the movement after they had just finished resting from her run to Remus' house only two days before. Trees raced past them as Lily followed Sirius along a path in the forest. The ground wasn't flat and Lily had to focus on her footwork so she wouldn't fall into the dirt. The distraction still didn't keep her from complaining.

"Why are we running?"

"Because James will know if we didn't." Sirius shouted back to her.

"How?"

Sirius was panting but he was still ahead of her several paces, "Because if I'm not covered in sweat by the time I get you back to camp, he'll pummel me."

"Why does he want you running?" she asked, exasperated.

"One, because he knows that I absolutely hate running. Two, because it's punishment for not convincing you to leave this morning like I promised him I would."

"What?" Lily gasped, "What's his problem with me?"

"It's got nothing to do with you—" Sirius panted, "Now seriously, stop talking, or I'm gonna pass out."

So Lily shut up and followed him until they both collapsed at the edge of the forest, the campsite back in their view. Lily lay in the long grasses, holding her stomach and brushing sweat off her forehead.

"So what's wrong with him?" Lily asked.

Sirius didn't have to ask whom she was speaking about, "He's under a lot of pressure Lily. Cut him a break. As much as I adore your wit—it might kill me."

She laughed then, turning her head to grin at him, "Too much running for you?"

"I haven't run that far since I got locked out of Hogwarts after spending too much time in Hogsmede." Sirius heaved a heavy sigh, "It might have killed my legs."

"Poor baby." Lily nudged his hand with her fingers and wrinkled her nose at him playfully.

"Ahhhh Evans," he said a bit painfully, "I'm surprised James hasn't figured out who you are…you act just like yourself."

Lily scowled and Sirius laughed at her look, sitting up and brushing leaves off his back. Lily sat up too and played with the edges of her shirt absentmindedly.

"Sirius?"

"What?"

Lily sighed, "What if I can't pull this off? What if we all get in trouble? You and Remus? Me."

Sighed stood up quickly and wiped his hands on his pants, "Let's not think about that." He held his hand down to her and she took it so he could pull her up off the ground.

Lily and Sirius walked back to camp arm in arm. Sirius was telling her about a time in his first year when he'd set the school's trophy room on fire when James found them. They had settled in the mess tent together with Alex at the end of their table. James stood over the pair, arms crossed, looking like he wanted to say something.

Sirius looked up at James shadow with a grin, "Missed you on our run." He teased his best mate.

James ignored him and instead looked at Lily, "Can I speak to you?" he asked quickly.

Lily shared a look with Sirius who winked at her. Lily stood up and smoothed her clothes before following James outside. Clouds covered the sky but Lily could still make out the pole at the edge of camp. A light mist was falling around them.

"Remus wrote me back." James stuffed his hands in his pockets as he spoke and Lily was surprised at what came out of his mouth next, "He said you're very bright."

"He's quite kind." Lily finally managed, surprised Remus hadn't ratted her out.

"He said you only just turned seventeen?"

Lily furrowed her brow, that wasn't _quite_ true, in fact she was almost eighteen but she decided to stick with whatever Remus had written, "Yes," she replied, "I was a year younger than you at Hogwarts."

"Yeah he mentioned you were in Ravenclaw." James brushed past her explanation, "Even still, you're pretty young and I appreciate that you came for your cousin but maybe you should consider—"

"Are you trying to send me home?" Lily broke in, surprised.

James looked awkward, "I mean I—"

"Because I'm not going anywhere." She said fervently.

James looked angered at her backtalk, "Now see here," he shook his finger at her, "I am the Captain of this camp and I will not allow you to talk back in that way."

Lily stood up taller, "I'll treat you with respect if you treat me with the same respect."

James and Lily stared down eye-to-eye until James broke away, ruffling his hair and muttering, "I still think you need some extra practice. I'll talk to Sirius about that. Since you've taken such a liking to him."

Lily stared as he walked away and behind her someone clapped slowly. Lily turned in shock to see Sirius leaning against the tent poles looking devilishly handsome in the mist.

"Well done," he applauded her, throwing an arm around her shoulders, "You impressed him."

"He seemed angry." Lily countered.

Sirius rolled his eyes, "He get's angry when he doesn't get the last word."

Lily snorted, _that_ she remembered from her Hogwarts days.

 _~~~a girl worth fighting for~~~_

Sitting alone in his tent that night, James Potter memorized Lia Lupin's smirk. He closed his eyes, tracing the exact curve of her lips when she thought something was funny. Her eyes, the color of olives, always sparkled mischievously when he spoke to her like she was hiding a secret..

He imagined it was because Lia reminded him so much of Lily Evans with her gorgeous green eyes. And Lia's behavior was so similar to Jamie's wit and humor…

James' eyes flashed open at the thought of his own cousin and his heart broke as he remembered Frank Longbottom stopping by camp the very day that Lia had entered. Frank delivering the news that McKinnon has lost contact with his favorite cousin after she and another scout went scavenging the caverns alone. James imagined what Remus Lupin would feel like if James ever had to deliver similar news to him about Lia.

As hard as it was for him to deal with Jamie going missing—James knew Remus well enough to know he'd blame himself for his cousin's sacrifice. Lia, despite her stubborn attitude, had still entered the war to save her cousin.

James admired the girl for her bravery.

"Prongs, I thought I told you to give Lia a chance." Sirius entered the tent with a bottle of firewhisky that he immediately passed to James, "not be so hard on her."

James took a swing of the thick liquid that burned his throat before glaring at his second-in-command, "I'm hoping that if she hates it enough then she'll leave." He confessed.

Sirius rolled his eyes, "She's not going anywhere, Prongs."

James eyed Sirius over the bottle, "You seem to like her quite a bit." He suggested more with his tone and Sirius snorted.

"If you think I fancy that little brat you've lost your touch," then he grinned dutifully at James, "But if _you_ happened to find her attractive I could put in a good word."

James chucked the bottle at Sirius who caught it fluidly and raised the bottle at him in thanks before taking a swing. James furrowed his brow and ran his fingers through his thick hair in irritation. If Sirius noticed his touchiness he chose to ignore it—for once.

"Do you remember Lia at Hogwarts?" James asked suddenly, confessing his concerns to Sirius.

Sirius chugged more firewhisky before answering, "Lupin you mean?"

James nodded, "Lia Lupin was never once brought up, the entire seven years at Hogwarts…"

"We both know Remus never liked to talk about his other family." Sirius returned the concern, "but Lia told me she was a prefect with Lily and Remus. So she and Remus had to have been at least cordial. And we do have her to thank…since Remus is at home safe."

James perked up at the sound of the other Lily, the one that he could never forget. No matter the years spaced between them. James picked at his clothes as he considered Lia.

She was smart but she needed help with her wand work. It seemed like she hadn't held a wand in a while—despite having just graduated from Hogwarts.

Sirius seemed to be keeping in track with his mind, "Give Lia a chance," Sirius repeated for the third time in two days, "She's smart and funny. You'll really like her."

James didn't dare telling Sirius that liking her wasn't the problem…in fact he was sure he was already quite infatuated with her. The biggest problem James seemed to be having was imagining Lia's wit getting her into trouble and then James would have to stare at Remus' crushed face when he told him Lia was lost in the caverns…just like Jamie.

* * *

 **Next time:**

"You never know when you'll be without a wand and need a meal." James replied cordially back, "You cannot go back to camp until you've caught a fish."

Lily smiled and stepped ahead of her fellow recruits, reaching out a determined hand to James for a fishing pole. With an arched eyebrow James handed her a pole.

"How are these skills going to help us fight Death Walkers?" Kion moaned when he grabbed a pole behind Lily.

"You can't fight Death Walkers if you die from starvation." Lily stated wryly as she adjusted the hook on her pole.

She swore she saw a flicker of a smile cross James' stern face.


	6. Reflections of A River

_Chapter 6_

 _How 'bout a girl who's got a brain_

 _Who always speaks her mind?_

 _What do we want?_

 _A girl worth fighting for._

Lily found, that despite her fellow scouts disapproval of her (oh, how Sirius had been wrong about their reactions) she quite enjoyed her time in camp. There was something wonderful and intriguing about being able to pull out her wand and do magic whenever she wanted. She had spent the previous day making Kion's hair turn rainbow colors at dinner until she caught the disapproving look of James Potter in the corner.

Even now, he was sending her a look of disapproval as she stood in the line of boys awaiting her orders. She didn't know what his current discomtempt was for her, but she imagined it something to do with the fact that on their way down she'd been using her wand to create a trail of colorful bubbles as they walked. She needed something to entertain herself with, as most of the men in the camp didn't dare associate with her now that it was established that Kion didn't like her.

Thank Merlin.

"Welcome to field survival." James announced as the Scouts stood in their line, staring at their Captain in disbelief.

The reason for their looks were the long poles attached to string. Behind James was a bubbling stream. Lily spotted little crevices in the rocks where she knew she was likely to find toadstool. Too bad there wasn't a potions making class for the kids to take because she knew she'd impress James there.

"Fishing." Goldstein finally managed to choke out is disbelief, "Field survival is fishing?"

"You never know when you'll be without a wand and need a meal." James replied cordially back, "You cannot go back to camp until you've caught a fish."

Lily smiled and stepped ahead of her fellow recruits, reaching out a determined hand to James for a fishing pole. With an arched eyebrow James handed her a pole.

"How are these skills going to help us fight Death Walkers?" Kion moaned when he grabbed a pole behind Lily.

"You can't fight Death Walkers if you die from starvation." Lily stated wryly as she adjusted the hook on her pole.

She swore she saw a flicker of a smile cross James' face. Kion knocked her shoulder as he passed and Lily hissed when the hook she was adjusting dug into her thumb. She bit her lip to hide the yelp of pain when she yanked the hook back out and sent Kion a glare. If James saw the altercation, he didn't say anything. Lily sucked her thumb and instead focused at the task in front of her.

Even if Lily hadn't been able to figure out how to get the flag from the pole two days ago, she was sure she could fish. When Lily was younger her father had taken his family camping many times. Fishing on the lake was a popular pastime for the Evans family. James' homemade poles were a little more rustic than even she was used too but Lily was positive she could catch a fish.

In the end, the task _was_ difficult because Sirius had made it his mission to make her job hard when he tried to show off and cast out his line, only for the hook to dig into _her_ left ear. She sat patiently as Sirius laughed awkwardly and pulled out the hook as James stood bye shaking his head slowly.

"Sirius," James spoke to Sirius, ignoring Lily's pertinent stare, "Once you finish being an idiot—go to camp and write an update to Colbie."

As Lily waited for Sirius to finish cleaning up his mess she asked with peaked interest, "Whose Colbie?"

Sirius licked his lips as he cleaned the blood from her earlobe, "Ministry worker. She was assigned to oversee the Auror Scout's program by the Minister."

"Oh." Was Lily's small reply, her eyes had zeroed in on James, leaning down to pick up and rock on the riverbank and inspect it's underside.

"Frogspawn." Lily called out to him and he looked up in surprise.

"What?" James asked stupidly.

"Are you looking for frogspawn?" she batted Sirius away from her ear, "Because you'll want to look on the other bank, it's muddier."

Lily walked over to him (getting farther away from Sirius and his fishing hooks) and leaned down to examine the rock he was looking at. Indeed, shiny little eggs that flashed rainbow colors stared back up at her. She ran her fingertip along the edge of the rock and licked her lips as she felt how dry the eggs were.

"The muddier the bank, the better the eggs." She told James with a helpful smile.

"You like potions?" he asked her, their eyes meeting for the first time that day.

Lily couldn't help but let her smile get larger as she stared into his hazel eyes, so questioning of her. He looked away quickly when he realized he was staring.

"I dabbled in it at Hogwarts." She shrugged, standing up to create space between them.

 _That was a lie_ , she considered as James left her to go yell at Goldstein to stop singing because he'd scare the fish. Lily happened to be top in her class at Potions. Right over James…and Severus Snape. Lily brushed her fingers through her hair and suddenly felt a strike in her heart when she saw the black strands fall over her eyes. Lily leaned over and saw her reflection in the river and frowned. She didn't recognize the girl staring back at her.

Lia wasn't good at potions or friends with the Captain of the Auror Scouts. Lia Lupin was made-up and _wasn't_ real. Lily turned away from her reflection and ignored Sirius' quizzical look when he handed her a new fishing pole.

Finally, after an hour of sitting on the riverbank quiet with no Sirius interruptions, Lily caught a fish. It was a slimy little thing with more scales than meat, but she'd caught it. She whistled for Sirius who gave her thumbs up and nudged James who looked over and narrowed his eyes to survey her catch.

"You couldn't feed a fairy with that, Lupin. Try again."

Huffing, Lily threw her little fish back, grumbling about how she'd like to hook, line, and sinker their Captain. Determined to make him like her, because he'd _always_ liked her, even when she'd been a scrawny first year…Lily waited until she was sure he wasn't looking and she took one of the rocks from the waters edge, scraping off the frog spawn all over her makeshift hook.

Perhaps the fish would be more liable to bite with a treat, instead of hard metal. Her quick thought was rewarded when she yanked a fish out of the water with beautiful rainbow scales and fatty looking meat all over its body.

"Hello, Chunky." She almost squealed as the other boys stared at her in disbelief when they saw what she had caught.

After she'd caught a fine-scaled fish with meaty bones that would've made her father cry proudly, a suspicious James granted her permission to walk back to camp with Alex. Lily smiled brilliantly at him but he didn't return her smile, his eyes were looking her up and down. For a moment she thought he was seeing right through her disguise but then Sirius distracted him.

Lily followed Alex slowly from behind back to camp, the quiet wizard looking relatively blue as they walked.

"Alex," she dropped her smile and ran forward to match his pace, "Is something wrong?"

Alex looked over at her in surprise, like he couldn't believe she'd noticed something. He cleared his throat and shrugged. The horn-rimmed glasses he normally wore were splattered by water and his clothes were soaked.

"Did you go swimming?" she asked the shy wizard.

"Lost my footing." He managed to mumble clearly.

Lily narrowed her eyes; despite being discreet she was sure Alex had able footing. She wondered, looking back at the bank where Kion was, if Alex had been pushed into the water. Lily furrowed her brow and threw an arm around the unsuspecting Alex.

"If he ever so much as makes fun of your glasses, let me know." Alex nodded, knowing exactly what she meant.

"Aren't you afraid of the Captain?" Alex muttered, eyes obviously filled with worry about James.

"He doesn't scare me." She said boisterously, winking at Alex.

"He scares me." Alex said, crossing his arms over his tiny chest.

Lily laughed and found she liked Alex, at least out of everyone here he was honest.

That's more than Lily could say for herself.

Lily sat with Alex and another wizard called Colin at lunch in the mess hall. Colin was like Alex in that he wasn't very popular with the rest of the boys in the camp, but the larger boy always had a smile on his face. He seemed like a genuinely happy person and Lily could appreciate him for it.

After lunch James tasked them with what seemed like the impossible: starting a fire without magic. They were paired off in teams of three. Lily stuck beside Alex and Colin, an action that hadn't gone unnoticed by Kion _and_ Alex.

"Bet we can start the fire before them." Kion bet his friend who nodded eagerly at the challenge.

Lily raised an articulate eyebrow and then looked at her two new friends, "Come on boys," she said gaily, "Let's start a fire."

Alex didn't seem to like the look in her eyes as she smirked over to Goldstein and Kion's group but he willingly got the wood at the corner of the campsite. Colin prattled on about fire and the magical component of fire. Lily only pretended to listen. Her gaze had drifted over to James and Sirius.

Back in the days of Hogwarts she would have playfully waved them over, eager for their happy-go-lucky personalities. Now she stared longingly over at them with the knowledge that Lia Lupin was not invited into their circle.

A fire away, Goldstein noticed her staring, "Lupin's got a crush." He chuckled darkly to his friends.

Lily turned her eyes on him in a flash. One second Goldstein was laughing at her, and the next the bottom of his robes were on fire. Lily's hands tingled from the magic running through her veins and for once, she was embarrassed for her lack of control. Goldstein looked at her in disbelief and to rub it in, Lily put her hand on the logs in front of her, letting the fire overtake the logs.

"Lupin!" a voice snapped and she winced at the sharp tone.

Goldstein was yelping and trying to get out of his burning robes as James ran over. James pointed his wand at Goldstein, showering him in water. Goldstein stood in front of his mates looking like a soaking wet dog. Satisfied that Goldstein wasn't going to burn, James turned on Lily with a furious expression.

"I said no magic!" he snapped, "What's your problem?"

"I technically didn't use a wand." Lily mumbled, tucking her hands behind her back and rocking forward on her heels.

For a moment James seemed impressed and Lily half expected his face to contort into confusion again but instead he pointed at the forest, darkening as the sun went down.

"Take a run, Lupin."

Lily flipped her hair over her shoulder and ran off towards the field, making sure to kick dust up and into her fire as she ran. She heard Sirius say something to James but she didn't catch it because her face was flaming from the sounds of Kion and Goldstein laughing at her.

Lily considered running right out of camp and back home. She was consistently being humiliated and she still hadn't regained full conscience control of her magic. Lily remembered that Remus had said it would take her body time to readjust to using magic regularly but she certainly hoped it wouldn't be long.

Goldstein was going to take the mickey out of her for weeks since she'd reacted that brash to his harmless joke. As Lily let her feet found into the ground she thought desperately for a way to think of what to say to James when he came to ask her more about the altercation later.

" _Ah, yes, sorry. He made a joke about me fancying you so I set him on fire."_

Lily snorted and kicked up leaves as she turned around to head back to camp. That was likely not the best thing to say to James. It reminded her so much of their school days together. Lily spent days on end staring after the boys, wishing she was in their year, wishing that James treated her more like a possible lover than his friends' kid sister.

Later, after Lily had showered and changed into jeans and an old top, Sirius found her in the Mess Tent. She was sitting alone in a corner, writing a letter to her mum and dad to appease their worries.

"As much as I'm sure Goldstein deserved your little fire play," Sirius said, sitting down beside her on the floor, "You've got one-on-one with James in the morning."

"Detention with the Captain?" Lily snorted over her letter, "Are we at Hogwarts?"

"No," Sirius actually looked unhappy with her, "We're at war, and you need to stop causing trouble or you're going to get kicked out."

"Well that'll save all of us—"

"No, Evans." He said, eyes flashing, "When you get kicked out of the Auror Scouts you have to go in front of Frank Longbottom. Do you know who that is?"

Lily shook her head and Sirius elaborated, "Frank Longbottom created the Auror Scouts and doesn't take kindly to anyone causing trouble in his department. Longbottom will read your file, he'll go to the Lupin's and while Remus might be covering for you now—Longbottom could easily find out that there was _never_ a Lia Lupin."

Lily swallowed.

Sirius slapped the floor as he stood up, "Dawn, meet at the edge of the woods for your one-on-one." He sent her one more look before he went back to their tent, "Go easy on the bloke, Evans, James has had a rough few weeks."

 _~~~a girl worth fighting for~~~_

If this was detention, Lily was half aimed to cause more trouble, but Sirius' warning rang in her head like a broken record. She had to be good. It wasn't James' fault he didn't recognize her…or like her. Lily imagined she wouldn't like herself that much either if she was causing trouble.

James stood on the edge of the trees as the sun came over the branches. His hazel eyes looked her up and down once more as she walked forward. She was surprised by the flutter of a smile that made its way onto his face. Hopeful, she smiled quaintly back.

"Good morning." She said kindly.

Something in James' eyes flickered, "Morning," he offered before placing his arms behind his back, "Mind telling me what happened with Goldstein."

"What did Goldstein tell you?" she couldn't help the words as they tumbled playfully from her mouth.

James frowned a little, "That's not important."

Lily wondered if he was told exactly what happened. Is that why, maybe, he was acting a little bit kinder to her today? Was it because he thought Lia Lupin had a crush on him?

"He pissed me off," Lily said quickly, "I set his robes on fire."

"On accident."

"It wasn't on accident." She shot back quickly, rushed.

James smiled knowingly. Lily assumed her problem with being civil was the fact that it was James, and James loved to laugh. He loved to play games. He loved when Lily would challenge his every word.

"You have problems channeling you magic." He observed, as she stepped closer.

"You're not as blind as I thought." She commented slyly as she slunk towards the trees.

He offered her another smile at that comment, "I had another friend with a similar problem." He pointed to her wand, held loosely in her hand, "You don't need that."

Lily raised an eyebrow skeptically, "On the contrary, I'd rather not be at the other end of one of your hexes."

James looked confused, "Hexes?"

Lily countered back, "I'd rather be safe, than sorry."

"We're not dueling." He rolled his eyes, "And despite what _you_ do to my other Scouts, I try to keep my hexing to a minimum."

"What _I_ do?" Lily finally laughed for real, turning to face him.

Her laugh made him falter, his head cocked as he looked at her in surprise. His sudden pause made her break from her teasing. She stood up taller, glaring at him pointedly. He continued his silence and she took advantage of it.

"Kion is a bully, James." She said firmly, "He's been picking on the younger Scouts since day one. He's a ghastly person and yet you focus on being hard on _me_ , when all I'm doing is defending my friends."

James' eyebrow rose into his hairline at her courageous words against his Captaining. She blushed, not wanting to elaborate more. James seemed to take in her blush before going red on his neck.

"I'm sorry." He offered finally, pushing his glasses farther up his nose, "It's just, forgive my honesty, but you remind me of someone I lost most recently. Perhaps I was letting my emotions cloud my judgment."

Lily wanted to know whom he was talking about but she remained stone-faced, "Apology accepted."

They stared at each other and Lily wondered if she was excused when James pulled off his outer cloak and laid it on the grass along with his wand.

"How about I teach you some muggle fighting?"

"Excuse me?" Lily piped in astonishment.

"Sure." He flashed a wicked smirk she hadn't seen in over a year, "Your punishment for setting Goldstein on fire is letting me teach you how to beat up boys like Goldstein when they forget how to talk to a lady."

Lily was the farthest thing from a Lady, based on _Penny Peggyful's Pocketbook of Perfect Woman_ but Lily decided to not humor James with that awful book.

Instead she stood crossed arms and said, "You can't be serious."

James reached out for her arm and Lily threw up her wand defensively as she reached for her. With a laugh James grabbed her wand and ripped it from her grip, stuffing it into his shirt.

"You can have it back after the lesson."

"You're a pain in the arse." She mumbled so he couldn't hear.

James reached out to grab the front of her robes and despite his wicked gleam; Lily couldn't help but wish he were grabbing her like that for other reasons besides a fighting lesson. She locked her lips with a smile as he stared down at her face with hard eyes. For a moment, even he seemed to be struggling with thoughts over than the fighting skills he was currently trying to teach her but, unfortunately for Lily, his resolve remained stronger than hers.

"How would you get out of this?" he asked.

Lily grabbed his wrists and tried forcing them up and off her, he didn't budge. His nose was inches from hers and she wrinkled her nose at him, an action that forced a laugh from his chest.

"Well for one it'd be easier to move you if you weren't so bloody stubborn."

"Stubborn." He chuckled, leaning away as she swung a fist at his face, "says a woman who is Hell bent on going to war for a cousin who _never_ mentioned her."

Lily stomped on his foot and trilled happily when he winced and backed up. She reversed and held up two firsts. James' eyes sparkled and he raced forward at her challenge, grabbing her wrists with haste.

Lily pulled her knee up, hoping to hit him in the groin. He barely winced.

"You missed," he said with a devilish grin before letting go of her wrists and pushing her to the ground.

Frustrated, Lily felt the magic boiling inside of her. She wanted to set _him_ on fire now. She pushed herself up off the ground and wiped her mouth as she observed his casual lean against the tree. He was smiling playfully at her. It was almost like he was James…and she was Lily…and they were at school once more.

"Merlin," he said casually, "your boyfriend back home must _love_ you."

She panted as she stood up to glare at him, "What?"

"You talk a lot of shite but you are positively worthless at fightin—"

Lily reached up a hand and smacked him across the face without a second thought. She covered her mouth in horror as soon as he touched his cheek in shock. A red welt was developing where Lily had smacked him.

She was so getting kicked off the campsite.

He held up a hand and reached inside his shirt to hand Lily her wand. Lily took it back, clutching her chest as she realized she was done for—no matter how much James had deserved it he was still her Captain.

Then a small smile broke his features, "That was a little better." He managed to choke out, "Next time, put your hands in a fist." He feigned popping himself in the jaw before laughing awkwardly and walking away back towards the tents and motioning her to follow.

Lily stood awestruck that she hadn't been kicked out. The breath she wasn't aware of holding let out swiftly as she realized that James had finally given her a compliment.

All it had taken was slapping him across the face.

 _~~~a girl worth fighting for~~~_

"He's mad." Lily complained to Sirius in the tent later that night as Sirius passed her a bag of ice he'd stolen from the mess tent for her bruise forming from dueling practice with Kion.

"He feels like he has to scare you all to death, so you'll take this seriously." Sirius said, handing Lily a packet of ice to put on her face, "But if it makes you feel better he's kicking himself behind his tent and is embarrassed he pushed you into smacking him."

Lily took the ice and placed it on her cheek, "He deserved it," she mumbled, "Even if he did get me back by pairing me with Kion."

Sirius chuckled, "You've always gotten his goat."

Lily stared at Sirius dejectedly, "Sometimes I think he can see right through me, even when he's not looking at me."

Sirius shook his head, "Trust me, he doesn't have any idea." He ruffled her fringe playfully, "If he did, he'd have snogged you by now."

"Sirius!"

The Captain's second-in-command smiled playfully at Lily, winking so as to show he was only teasing. Lily tried to hide her blush by examining her toenails, which were caked in mud from her duel with Kion. She'd won, just barely, and Kion hadn't taken his defeat well. The only thing that made her night better was James taking Kion aside and making Kion go for a run to 'run out his anger issues' as James had put it.

When Kion left running (and complaining loudly) Lily and James had shared an equally embarrassed smile with each other that had made Lily's heart soar. Lily fell to sleep that night with a smile on her face for the first time since she'd arrived at the camp, ready to take on the new challenges that would face them in the morning.

* * *

Thanks for being patient for this chapter! My days off at work changed, so now you should expect Monday updates! xxx

Let me know what you think! This was my favorite chapter to write so far!

Petals


	7. Reflections of the Past

**Chapter 7:**

 **You may think you see**

 **Who I really am**

 **But you'll never know me**

 **Every day**

 **It's as if I play a part**

The weeks that followed found Lily alongside her fellow Scouts in situations even she had never imagined. James goal was to teach his recruit all about the history and folklore surrounding the caverns-and how to survive should they encounter any of the magical obstacle courses along the way. Most of the men complained about the history lessons, wanting to fight instead of listen, but even Goldstein couldn't keep from showing that he was impressed with James' extensive knowledge.

Lily had always known James was smart—one of the smartest during their time at Hogwarts—but she hadn't known that the Captain was good at drawing. Each day when they entered the classroom (tent) there was a new drawing up on the blackboard. For two weeks it had been drawings of magical creatures they could face, for another week it was painstakingly drawn out wand form lessons, and the current week James had drawn out as many of the known cavern sections, lopping them around the room.

Lily had stepped into the tent expecting perhaps a dragon or a hinkypunk, only to find James had written down every historic detail known about the caverns. Her mouth dropped at the intricate designs that made up the maze-like caverns that led underground. Above certain tunnels James had written familiar London Street names so the recruits could see where some of the tunnels led out. In the center of the cavernous drawing was the symbol for the Ministry of Magic.

Lily noted the caverns seemed to run in a kind of wagon wheels pattern, all the little caverns eventually leading to larger caverns that led to one large cavern circling the Ministry in a perfect circle. If it wasn't already confusing enough to make it to the inner circle, history lessons taught them that the caverns were unpredictable with dangers at every turn. Not only were the caverns a maze that had to be figured out, it also had magical creatures still hiding out in its depths. Everything from pixies to dragons, James was teaching as much as he could.

A whole week was spent on how to properly use the point-me spell that helped guide people through mazes. Lily wasn't very good at the spell (she'd ended up getting lost using it in the forest) but Alex was quite good at the spell and made it out of the forest first much to the group's surprise. Lily made sure to partner with Alex the next time they had to navigate someplace since she'd made it out of the forest last and James had sent her a less-than-impressed glare.

By the end of their second month at camp, they started hearing rumors of a test, a simulation of sorts. Lily had even heard Sirius talking to James about a group of Ministry workers coming in one night to build something. Kion was telling his friends that he heard the last group had to complete a simulation before they were allowed to go to the front lines.

Eventually, one morning, the Scouts woke up to a giant maze covering the rest of the field. Lily struggled to see the end of the maze when she walked past it but she couldn't. All the other scouts were staring at it too and that's how James and Sirius found them.

"Today you're going into this maze, Scouts." James announced, "Your task is to escape without bodily harm."

"How do we get out?" Kion asked, "Once we get in?"

"Your task is to collect a gold coin after defeating a challenge in the maze." Sirius revealed, "Once you have a coin you'll be magically transported back to the entrance."

"If at any pointed Sirius or I feel you are in trouble, we will come to your aid." James said quickly, "And you will then be asked to leave camp."

Lily exchanged a glance with Sirius before reaching out to Alex and squeezing his shaking shoulders. Colin raised his hand, looking awkward.

"Colin?" James turned his eyes on Lily's other friend.

"What dangers are in the maze?"

"Everything we covered is inside that maze, with a few exceptions." James smiled, "But be prepared for anything."

Lily took her turn to raise her hand, James and Sirius turned expectant eyes on her, "Will the maze follow a similar pattern to the caverns?"

"No," James' voice was firm; "this exercise is to simply see how you handle yourself in a similar situation."

Lily pressed her lips into a firm line; she would prove she could handle herself in any situation.

 _~~~I can fool the world~~~_

James watched with laughing eyes as Lia stared at the large hedges with her wide green eyes and unconsciously stepped closer to Alex. If she was going to get lost in a maze, it appeared she was at least taking the boy who read _1,000 Magical Herbs and Fungi_ with her. James had to commend her on her friend choices, considering the last time he'd given the girl a directional problem to solve she'd gotten lost in the forest for over an hour and he'd been considering going after her himself.

Actually, he considered while glancing over at Sirius, he would have gone in after her had Sirius not interfered saying that Lia wouldn't take kindly to the rescue. Sirius was staring at the girl now, calculating something in his head. James saw Sirius' grey eyes flicker towards Kion and James knew Sirius was hoping the same thing as James. They both had a feeling Kion would start crying after an hour in the maze and had bet on it this morning. James had made sure to include an entire hedge of spiders for Kion's enjoyment, not that James would ever admit it.

"Sirius and I will be watching from above," James told the recruits and noting a look exchanged between Sirius and Lia, "Good luck."

James and Sirius went to an overlook built over the maze, rising over the hedges to give a substantial watch. Sirius climbed the ladder first and James left one hand on the rung to look over at his recruits. They were staring at the green hedges, each of them fluttering about nervously. This was the only way James could prepare them for the dangers inside the caverns that took his cousin Jamie from him. This was the only way he could even get the Ministry to consider his young troops. James' eyes couldn't help remaining on Lia a second longer than the others, she held her shoulders square but her fingers were twirling her long black hair with uneasiness.

James stood up next to Sirius on the platform and looked out at their masterpiece. In the farthest right corner a unicorn hovered over a gold piece and her calf. A small lake dweller sat near a bog in the middle of the maze where a gold coin sat dutifully placed on its shores. A section of the maze even burst flames similar to that of a dragon. It was a death trap but James hoped and prayed his recruits would make it through. They had too.

"Alright," James finally mustered up his own courage, " Go!"

His Scouts entered the maze and James was quick to notice Kion trip Lia on her way in. She landed on her palms and sent a sickening glare in Kion's direction before righting herself and continuing her run inside the maze. James' fists curled and his eyes darkened. He'd always hated bullies, being fair to his Scouts be damned, he hoped Kion lost this challenge.

Unfortunately, Lia appeared to be struggling greatly. Her wand work was subpar when she was doing the point-me spell and her duel against one of the other scouts was half hearted when they'd both reached a golden coin. Instead of winning the duel, she practically let the other Scout have it. James didn't understand it. The girl was always so ready to prove herself but in the simulation she seemed distracted, hesitant to fight even.

By the middle of the day, only three of his students were left. Lia and Kion were running through the back half of the maze while Jared Zabani was closer to the middle of the maze, fighting the water sprite guarding the gold coin. Lia missed a turn that led to a gold coin being guarded by leprechauns and their fake gold stash and instead headed closer and closer to Kion. Her pint-me spells seemed to be only directing her to him.

"She's clever." James muttered to the air, "I don't understand why she hasn't gotten a coin yet."

"She's too clever." Sirius replied at his side, instantly knowing who James was talking about, "I think she's determined to make sure everyone gets out of the maze before she does."

"Well that's dumb," James thought out loud, "It's every man for himself."

"You don't mean that." Sirius said delicately.

James didn't dare admit that Sirius was right. James admired Lia for her perseverance. James looked down to see Lia standing in a corner of the hedge observing her surroundings with a very calculating look. James wished he could read her mind at that very moment.

"She's the opposite of you though mate." Sirius justified at James' enquiring look, "Lil acts best on impulse where as _you_ act best on a battle plan."

James looked at Sirius quizzically again, "Lil?"

"What?" Sirius asked absentmindedly as he clapped and whistled for Zabani who'd gotten his gold coin and was magically transported back tot eh front of the maze.

Zabani was met with a cheer from the other recruits who had made it out. James watched as they all dog piled him before resuming watching the maze entrance for the last two recruits.

"You just called her Lil?" James said as his eyes fluttered back to Lia in the maze.

"Who?"

" _Lupin_?" James pointed down at the girl running along a hedge with her wand held aloft.

Sirius turned back to the maze and offered lightly, "Well, she does remind me of Lily."

James looked down too, Lia's black hair was tied up but it was falling from it's ribbons and strands bounded along her back. James was more reminded of his cousin, Jamie, when it came to Lia…even still…

Then James laughed at himself. For one, Lia was taller and had sharper eyebrows than Lily Evans. Where Lia looked like she could kill with one sharp look, Lily always looked angelic while she was calling James a prat. Lily Evans was a kind soul, despite her wicked tongue.

For another, Lia was allowed in the camp and Lily wasn't because Lily was muggleborn.

"Whatever happened to Lily Evans?" James asked Sirius as they watched Lia and Kion get closer and closer to each other and closer to a test against fiery hedges.

Sirius cleared his throat, "Remus mentioned he saw her once," James tried to seem like this information was of no importance to him but he couldn't fake the sigh of relief at Sirius' next words, "She was apparently living with her family, hiding out from the war."

James smiled, remembering how Lily would hate sitting around, "I'm sure she's bored out of her mind."

"I think she probably found a creative outlet." Sirius sniffed before leaning over the pole and squinting down at the maze, "What is sh— _damn it!_ "

James turned his attention back to the maze and saw what was making Sirius upset instantly. Lily and Kion had entered the same section of the maze—the gold coin centered in the middle of them. They both stared at it then looked up at each other. James could see Lia's calculative face; she was making up a plan to get the coin without setting off whatever defense had been in store.

Lia worked by avoiding the problems, knowing she likely could find a loophole in the situation to make it easier on her tog et what she wanted. Kion worked by taking what he wanted. The outcome of them both going for the same gold coin would only end poorly. James' fingernails dug into the wood as he watched Kion inch forward towards the coin.

"No!" Lily shouted at the boy to stay still but it was too late because Kion's movement had set off the protective charms.

The hedges around them erupted in flames. The pair were surrounding by flickering fire, licking at their ankles and likely burning their skin. James felt his muscles lurch in forward in horror when they both disappeared in a flume of smoke. Sirius' knuckles were white against the wood they held onto, trying to see what was happening.

"I'm going in!" Sirius said quickly but James grabbed onto Sirius' arm, they had to give Kion and Lily the chance to fix this.

The smoke cleared moments later and they saw that Kion had fought through the flames a bit but they were licking his skin with every step he took. Lia was shouting something at him, she hadn't moved and she was impressively swirling water with her wand around her body to protect herself from the flickering flames. James let go of Sirius' arm in shock from Lia's amazing charm work.

"Where'd that charm work come from?" James asked suspiciously.

"She's good at charms." Sirius said, almost proudly.

The sense of control Lia had with the water, all while she shouted direction to Kion who looked frightened as the flames continued to surround him, it was high level magic that James hadn't seen in a long time. Kion stepped forward again and Lily shouted at him to stop moving.

"Listen to her you idiot." Sirius muttered and James whole-heartedly agreed with Sirius.

Kion seemed to realize that movement only made the fire to attack you more. He stood still, shaking and trying to avoid the fire that whipped towards him threateningly.

"What is she doing?" James hissed as the pair stood there staring at each other.

Lia stood there staring at what was likely the gold coin. They both knew that if they moved the fire got worse, originally, either of them could have easily summoned the charm and ran but now they were stuck in the pits of a fiery hell. Lia took a step and the flames lashed out at her, smashing through her watery protection and James heard her call out from the pain and falter in her movement.

"She's going to get herself killed trying to save Kion from the fire." Sirius snarled worry on every inch of his face, "She's playing bloody hero."

James pounded his fist on the forward and looked at Sirius, "If _she_ keeps moving they'll both be burnt to a crisp!" James pulled out his wand, "Merlin, is she even thinking?"

"Go stop her James!" Sirius shouted, James had never seen Sirius in such a panic about one of their recruits Sirius' face was pale as a sheet and his eyes conveyed a sort of panic that one would get if Lia was a loved family member. His altered attitude about the girl sent James into a moment of panic.

"Go!" Sirius shouted when Lia took another step and the fire burst through her protective water charm and hit her in the chest, "Merlin, James, _go_!"

James waved his wand on the spot and the next thing he saw in front of him was not Sirius' panicked face but a wall of fire. He turned and spotted Lia. She was a step from the coin, her face singed with black from the ashes, her green eyes prominent against he black soot. Another jet of fire whipped towards her and was heading right for her heart. Her green eyes looked up at just the right moment and she looked surprised at first, then angry to see James. The reflection in her green eyes was similar to that of a young red haired witch James loved to stare into and in that moment he didn't care that she was inches from the prize, only that a strong fire burst was heading to her and could injure her beyond repair.

James ended the simulation with one single wave of his wand, the fire disappearing the moment it touched her watery barrier. They were surrounded by normal hedges once again. James looked behind to see Kion with his wand raised towards James in disbelief. It wasn't his voice that cut the thick hair like a knife, it was hers.

"You broke the enchantment." Betrayal rang in every syllable and hit him like a stunner.

James' hands immediately went to his hair as he turned to look at the witch standing feet behind him. He felt sheepish as he stared her, relatively unharmed, despite the predicament he'd just seen her in. With any other recruit he'd have not interfered and now…

"If I hadn't have stepped in you would've both been burned to a crisp."

"She was doing just fine with her water charm." Kion snapped in and quite frankly that made James ashamed even more, when Kion the idiot was speaking up for Lia.

James argued flatly back, "But you both almost got yourself killed in a simulation. A simulation of the caverns the Ministry needs to know you will be okay in."

"but—" Lia tried to argue and James put up a hand to silence her.

"Both of you, my tent, one hour." James demanded of Kion and Lia.

"But—" Kion started.

"Enough." James felt like headache was coming on and he put his fingers on his temple, "Let's get out of this maze."

Lia and Kion sat in the healers tent quiet until Sirius entered and then Lia went to town, calling Sirius a handful on names that James was surprised Sirius let her hurl at him.

"I was fine!" she demanded, "Why didn't you stop him!"

James knew Lia was talking about him so he pretended to be really interested in the ingredients of skelegrow. Lia don't seem to have a problem talking about James even though she knew James was in the tent. Sirius seemed to be trying to calm her down, to no avail. She was furious.

"I didn't stop him because you were going to let yourself play the bloody hero _again_ and turn yourself into a chip!" James heard Sirius hiss, "Merlin, imagine what would happen if you _died_. Think of the consequences. Remus…me…Hell, James even."

"I was handling it!" Lia snapped moodily, but her argument seemed to have faltered at Sirius' point.

James was surprised to hear his name in that list; he thought Lia didn't particularly like him. What were the consequences to James if Lia died? Besides having to face Remus with the impossible truth that he was a horrible Captain because he couldn't keep those dearest in his life safe from the effects of war.

Lily disagreed unhappily with Sirius, "I would've been fine, had you given me time."

"Lil—"

James whipped his head around at Sirius' sigh and stared at the pair then. He'd called her Lil again, but if she'd noticed Sirius' slip she didn't say or do anything. Lia's arms were still crossed and she was still staring defiantly at the ground. Sirius and James exchanged a look. James saw the worry flooded across Sirius' features.

James couldn't let her stay.

She was too reckless.

She was too much like Jamie.

She was too much like Lily.

She was too much for him to handle loosing.

James left the medical tent with his lips pressed into a thin line. Kion wasn't the only recruit who would be packing his bags tonight.

 _~~~I can fool the world~~~_

Lily stood next to Kion, a change from this morning when they couldn't stand looking at each other. They were outside James' tent, preparing for their meeting with the Captain after the fire adventure in the maze. Sirius was inside with James. Lily could hear their voices through the tent flaps. Sirius sounded angry but then again, so did James.

"Thank you."

Lily turned her eyes upon Kion, who hadn't spoken to her directly since they faced each other in the flames.

"For helping me." Kion elaborated, "I'd have kept going if you hadn't noticed the flames got worse when we moved."

"S'nothing." Lily muttered, wiping her face on her sleeve, feeling uncomfortable.

"It's not nothing." Kion muttered, kicking the grass, "My burns would've been worse if you hadn't have stopped me. The Captain is right—I am an idiot."

Lily didn't dare agree with James out loud so she simply hummed and continued staring at the ground. She fingered the white sweater she'd put on, ever since the fire, the air felt surprisingly cool. The tent flap opened and Sirius welcomed them both inside with a grim expression. James stood by a desk with two letters and two quills out in plain sight. Lily met James' eyes first and she was perplexed for a moment as James' eyes analyzed her sweater.

"Nice sweater." James tried conversationally, "Are you cold?"

Lily raised an eyebrow. Sirius sighed like he couldn't believe James' lack of tact.

Lily knew what the papers were.

They were release forms.

James was releasing her and Kion.

"This is unfair." Lily demanded almost instantly and she noted James wince at her challenging tone. Apparently he'd been hoping she wouldn't fight. He was _so_ wrong.

"You're unsuited for the rage of war," James said simply, passing her one set of the release forms, "So pack up, and go home. You're through." Kion stared at the form with teary eyes, likely ashamed of himself.

"I can do this." She pushed the form back at James who looked exasperated, "I belong here."

James thew his hands up in the air, "Why are you so determined to stay?"

"Why are you so determined to kick me out!" she fired back.

"I don't want to lose you!" James snapped back before realizing what he'd said.

Lily took a step back as James' face went red. Kion sniffed and Sirius put a hand to his forehead. Lily's chest rose and fell with each large breath she took. James bit his lip and Sirius seemed to sense the pair needed time alone. Sirius grabbed Kion's shoulder and led the young boy out of the tent with the release form. The tension inside the tent was thicker than the smokey air Lily had been breathing that morning in the fire.

"I—I didn't mean it like _that_ …" James mumbled, "I lost my cousin the caves," James finally broke and his shoulders dropped, "She was like you, bubbly, spiteful…" he stared at the floor as if he feared looking into her eyes, "I could never live with myself if I ever had to deliver the news to Remus…the same news that I had to get about my cousin Jamie three weeks ago."

"I'm sorry about your cousin." Lily muttered sourly, "But you can't assume that just because I remind you of someone in your past—that I'll have the same fate."

"Can't I?" James finally looked up at her weakly, a soft smile flooding his stone features.

Lily swallowed and wondered for a moment if his words had double meaning. One for a cousin he loved dearly and another for a young witch he'd befriended at Hogwarts.

Either way, Lily puffed out her chest and said in a demanding tone, "I'm not going anywhere."

Feeling his eyes boring into her back as she turned, she walked out, dropping the release forms on the floor as she went. James thought she couldn't follow directions but she could. James thought she'd get herself killed. Lily knew how to survive and she could do it with or without his help.

Lily didn't know how to prove it to James though. She stalked through he tents, ignoring the stares from the other recruits. Whispers followed behind her back and she tried not to think of fighting them. She almost ran into the pole they'd been challenged to climb on their first day as she stalked away from the campsite. Sliding against the pole she felt her shoulders shake as she realized she was at her wits end. Huffing, she slid against the pole and she stared up at the small white flag dangling out of reach.

James was expected the impossible of that that day. No magic to get the white flag, just brains. Brains that Lily unquestionably had. Lily pushed off the pole and turned to stare at it, touching the wood with a new sense of urgency.

As before, Lily wrapped her arms around the pole and tried to crawl up but was ineffectively knocked down to the ground when she'd lost her footing on the back of the slick pole. Lily knew it will take her all night to figure out how to get to the stupid flag James had put up on the first day of camp but she was going to get it. None of the other boys in the camp had even bothered trying again to get the flag. The pole had stood forgotten—much like Lily.

Lily was going to prove all of them wrong.

She was not one to forget.

Lily wished there was a safe way to use her feet to climb up the pole. She'd climbed many a trees in her childhood. Normally, Lily would grab a hold of a branch to help her legs pull effectively against her weight. Sadly, the manmade pole was limb-less and had no grips for her fingers to wrap around.

Lily grabbed around the pole again, lifting herself up. Lily's foot slipped on the first attempt to climb and her feet landed still on the ground. She tried pulling her arms away from the pole in frustration when she noticed her sweater was sticking to the pole. She lifted her sleeves and ripped the fabric from its hold on the pole.

"Yes!" Lily whispered triumphantly.

Lily pulled her white sweater over her head and wrapped the left sleeve in her left hand before swinging the right sleeve around the pole. The sweater effectively pulled against the log but stayed tight against Lily's weight. She'd have to send her mother a letter, commending her knitting skills.

Taking in a breath, Lily shimmied her arms up over her head, keeping the sweater slack, and she then lifted one foot off the ground. Once she only had one foot left on the ground, Lily lifted her last foot up off the ground and grinned breathlessly as she didn't fall.

A bubble of a laugh escaped her lips and she took her first step, falling to the ground in a swift second. The fall only made Lily more determined, she sat up immediately and made her sweater tighter around the pole and wrapping her wrists for more leverage. As she shimmied her way up the pole slowly, she kept her eyes to the sky, watching the clouds roll over the moon in a way that was almost mystifying.

She thought of her parents, who had tried keeping her complacent in a life she was unhappy in. She thought of Remus, who was unhappy in a life he only wished to enjoy. She thought of Sirius, who was just trying to help her because he cared about her. She thought about James and his sad smile when they'd last spoken. She thought about James a lot; especially their times together at Hogwarts and how she wished she could turn back time and go back.

As the sun began to rise the recruits come out of their tents to see a form shimmying it's way to the top of the pole. Lily saw them pointing and shouting for each other to come look. She smiled, despite the pain in her hands from the circulation being cut off by the hold of the sweater. Lily almost to the top and she was sweating more thans he had ever sweat in her life. Every muscle in her body ached as she slowly moved her way closer to the white flag that waved in the breeze.

Below the pole the recruits are shouting and Lily hears Kion's obnoxious voice break through the crowd gathering, "You show Potter, Lupin!"

Lily was no longer doing this to prove herself to the others; she was doing it to prove to herself she was capable of anything. She didn't need her parent's approval, she was going to be a witch if she tried to hide it or not. She didn't need James' approval now because she already knew what James thought of Lily—and Lia was not going to be any different.

With one last hefty push she grabbed the white flag inches from her face and for a single moment she felt weightless.

Far below there was a cry from the boys, cheering and clapping as she maneuvered herself to sit on the top of the pole. Lily stared out at the sea of tents and trees, feeling like a queen on her throne. The recruits looked so little and insignificant beneath her as they cheered in fact, it wasn't their cheers that were making her euphoric; it was the fact that for the first time since Hogwarts—Lily felt accomplished.

A wide grin erupted on her face as she waved the flag in the air and screamed at the top of her lungs.

 _~~~I can fool the world~~~_

In the middle of the camp asleep in his tent, James had heard the shouting, woken up to the commotion of the recruits cheering for someone. James was quickly getting dressed to check out the issue when Sirius burst through the tent flaps looking elated.

"You'll _never_ believe this." Sirius pulled him out of the tent before James could even put on his shirt.

Once in the sunshine, Sirius pointed to the farthest side of the camp and James adjusted his glasses to get a good look. His stomach did a backflip.

James spotted Lia; she was sitting on top of the pole where he'd attached a flag on their first day. Her stomach was pale against the sky as her sweater from the night before was wrapped around her waist instead of covering her body. Her undershirt appeared to have ripped and her hair hung loosely about her face like she'd gone for a swim. The white scrap of flag fabric was in her hands as the boys cheered below for the woman they'd been so willing to throw to the fire only a night before.

"Holy shit," were the only words that could come out of James' mouth as he stared at the young witch.

"I did it!" she was screeching from the top of the pole, "I did it!"

James looked flabbergasted at Sirius, "Without magic?"

Sirius nodded, "Alex said he woke up to go to the loo and saw her shimmying her way up the pole with that sweater you so greatly complimented her on last night."

James didn't even bother hiding his flush as he stared up at the cheeky witch. Where had she come from? She was giggling from atop the pole, seeming to be on top of the world. James and Sirius walked closer, seeing that Lia wasn't alone, all the recruits stood waiting for her to come down from her dominion. Her laugh was so innocent, so memorable, that James couldn't resist his own smile.

"Sirius." James whispered to his second in command.

"Yup?" Sirius had his hands crossed and was also smiling at Lia's cheering.

"Owl Colbie." James brushed his hands on his pants, "The Scouts are ready."

Sirius grinned and slapped James on the back, "You've got it, mate." Then he laughed, "But first I'm going to make sure she gets down off that pole without killing herself."

"Good idea." James smiled at Sirius' joke.

Sirius shot him a playful wink, "Want to come? I 'spect she might fancy giving you that sweater as a souvenir."

James rolled his eyes, "I quite like it _off_ of her as well." He said bravely, admiring the curve of her cream colored shoulders as Lia shouted down the pole to her friend Colin that she was going to just jump down.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, "Watch yourself Captain." Sirius jested, "Don't get too attached."

As she passed by James after getting help from her station atop the flagpole she flounced by with a wicked grin in his direction. James grinned back at her and reached out to pat her shoulder in congratulations.

"You," he paused when he saw a freckle on her right collarbone, he shook himself and finished, "You did good Lupin. You do belong here, it seems."

"Thanks." She said pleasantly.

She moved past him too fast for his eyes to completely register if it was the same freckle…but Lily Evans had a similar freckle on her collarbone and James could swear it had been in the same exact spot.

 **Next time:**

The woman glared angrily, "Be careful, Captain. Your father may have given you this position, but I am the Minister's Council. And, oh, by the way, I got that job on my own."

James lurched forward, hand going for his wand. Lily grabbed his arm quickly, sensing trouble.

"Hey," Lily drew his attention with her calm voice, "She's not worth it."

James stared down at her, his hazel eyes struggling with something that Lily couldn't read. They were so close Lily could smell the campfire on his clothes and could see every single strand of hair that fell into his eyes. Her eyes searched his for the answer to whatever question he was thinking.

Suddenly, he tore himself from her grip and went walking off towards the fields.

Lily called out to James as he retreated, "For what it's worth, I think you're a great captain." James turned to look at her, opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, and then thought better of it.

* * *

 **Did you enjoy? Did you not enjoy? How's life? Do you like cookies? How's the weather where you're from? How's my story? I literally get one to no reviews for this anymore? Thanks to those of you that do leave me a review-these chapters are all for you! I'm glad you like my little story!**

 **xxx**

 **petals**


	8. Reflections of the Eye

**Chapter 8:**

 **We must be swift as a coursing river**

 **With all the force of a great typhoon**

 **With all the strength of a raging fire**

 **Mysterious as the dark side of the moon**

Far away from the training camp, down meters below the topsoil, a dragon was pacing nervously as it guarded the entrance to a tunnel. Black smoke rose from its nostrils as it surveyed the wizards in front of it. For hundreds of years it had guarded the tunnel entrance just like it's mother before it, but never had humans come so close. It was frightened, clear by the whites of it's eyes.

Gregory McKenzie sitting on top of a broken wheelbarrow surveying the animal with clever eyes.

"What do you see, men?" he asked the surrounding men dressed in black, covered in dirt from their time in the tunnels.

"This dragon has a brand of the Ministry, it's been placed to guard something special?" a young boy in the back spoke up bravely.

"What could be so special?" Gregory twirled his wand around his fingers as the animal paced in front of them, back arched like a cat.

The men around him were silent. No one wanted to speak up after Gregory had lashed out on one of their men just days before for answering one of his questions. Gregory stopped twirling his wand.

"The entrance to the Ministry." Gregory smirked, "It's close."

"The Auror Army's waiting for us on the other side no doubt." Someone muttered, close to the wall.

Another person coughed, "We can avoid them easily."

Gregory shook his head, "No, the quickest way to the Minister is through this pass."

"The moment we lash out at the dragon it will attack." someone said, worry evident in his small voice.

Gregory whipped his wand around his body and pointed it at the cowering dragon, "The weakest point in any animal—is the fear reflected in its eyes."

 **~~~when will my reflection show who I am inside~~~**

Lily brushed out her hair with her fingers as she stared in the mirror. Her green eyes took in the muscular curve of her shoulders that had appeared from her time at camp. Her hair was still pitch black and it almost blended into the darkness of the tent. The tent had been bestowed to her away from the other men and even with its own shower. Sirius gifted the space to her just a week before, after Lily complained Sirius snored too much. The tent rocked in the wind and it was a soothing sound to the silence she so hated. She had just finished showering and her hair was still damp from the cold water. Her stomach growled and she frowned before donning on a sweater to brave the cold.

 _Perhaps the Mess Tent would have some leftover potatoes, s_ he mused to herself as the wind cut through her sweater.

Lily peeked her head out of her tent and took in the smell of the freshly fallen rain. Thunderclouds swirled in the distance and Lily had a feeling their weather was only going to get worse as time went on. She slid on her boots and pulled her hair up into a ponytail before slopping into the muddy campsite. Her tent was only seconds away from Sirius' and the young boy had his flaps open to the wind and cold. Movement from inside his tent made Lily pause and she smiled when he stuck his head out to look at her.

"You going somewhere?"

"Hungry" she announced, pointing playfully at her stomach.

Lily was rewarded for braving the cold in way of not _only_ leftover potatoes but also Sirius, who had instantly decided to join her in search of food.

"Come on then," Sirius slung an arm around her shoulders, "We'll see if James is hungry, he hardly touched his supper."

"Where has he been all day?" Lily questioned.

Lily had been doing dueling practices with the rest of the recruits only James had been absent a majority of the day. Lily didn't dare say anything, despite most of the boys being civil to her now, she didn't need any rumors surrounding her and the Captain. Sirius didn't answer her and instead made a comment about the weather.

As they walked to the middle of camp where James' tent was located Lily saw James had a light on. Most of the tents were dark, his was lit up so one could see the figures inside of it. One figure was James' lanky body standing near the back of the tent, shoulders curved up proudly. The other (a woman based on the curvy frame) had a tall stance despite being slightly shorter than the Captain.

Lily paused in her tracks, dragging Sirius to a stop as well, when she heard the voice come from inside the tent.

"You think your scouts are ready to fight?" the woman's voice was sharp and cut through Lily's chest like an knife, " _Hah_! They would not last a minute against the Death Walkers."

James' voice was raised and even as a silhouette, Lily could see his hands were curled into fists. She took a step closer, letting go of Sirius' arm as she did so. The mud under her feet made her feel like the world was going to swallow her whole.

"They completed their training." James spoke through gritted teeth.

The woman laughed nastily, "Those boys are no more fit to be Scouts than you are to be Captain."

Lily turned to look at Sirius for confirmation that this was really happening…that there was a woman inside James' tent telling him he was worthless as a captain. Sirius only looked peeved, not surprised like she felt.

"I earned my spot." James' voice had never sounded colder in Lily's entire life.

"You got the position because of who your family is."

There was silence from within the tent and tears flickered against Lily's eyes. Lily tuned on Sirius, "Who is in there?" she demanded hastily.

"Colbie?"

James' voice cut through the air quickly now, he was pissed, "I spent a year in the Auror Academy and my Scouts have spent two solid months under my direction. Both my troops and I have gone above and beyond normal training used on the previous scouts. We are ready for the caves."

Lily recognized the name of the Minister of Magic's right hand woman. She recalled the boys were already greatly disliked by the woman—now it seemed she was vehmonently against anything the boys were doing.

"Why is she acting so cruel?" Lily whispered.

Sirius just shook his head, trying to listen to what the woman, Colbie, said next, "Once the Minister reads my report, your so-called troops will never see battle. Frank Longbottom had a reason for giving you this particular branch, you know." The woman was cutting him down with words like a sword, "It wasn't because he thought you showed the most promise—it was because he thinks you're too young, too passionate, to inexperienced."

"I—" James stuttered, seemingly speechless.

Sirius hissed angrily at Lily's side, "Oh no you don't, you banshee. I've worked to hard to get Lily into this war."

"Sirius don't—"Lily grabbed Sirius' clothes to try and prevent him from going into the tent but Sirius was too strong.

Sirius burst through the tent flaps before she could stop him and started shouting, " _What the Hell_ was the point of the past two months…the past two years?" Lily felt goosbumps rise on her skin as she heard Sirius get properly angry, "You have no right to come into our camp and dictate how we're supposed to be teaching these scouts."

"Mr Black do shut—"

"No, you shut up!" Sirius' black form stomped over to a broken James, "James had turned all of these scouts into fighters which is exsactly what you and your Minister asked him to do—"

"He did not follow Ministry policy—" Colbie spoke but Sirius cut her off again.

"Fuck Ministry Policy." Sirius laughed nastily, "This is a war and you want soldiers. James put his back into delivering you Scouts who are actually prepared for what's in the cave—unlike the other Captains who have single-handedly raised the fatality count by following Ministry Protocol."

There was a ruckess and the woman rushed out of the tent, James followed her looking torn. Lily stepped out of the shade of the tent, a hand on her heart.

James called after Colbie, "We're not finished, I'm writing the Ministry, first thing!"

The woman turned from her rush to get out, only to spot Lily standing there awkwardly in the middle of the fight.

Colbie sneered, "Be careful, Captain. Your father may have given you this position, but I am the Minister's Council. And, oh, by the way, I got that job on my own."

James lurched forward, hand going for his wand. Lily grabbed his arm quickly, sensing trouble if he did decide to lash out. James looked surprised at the touch of her hand and he looked down at her in shock.

"She's not worth it." Lily told him calmly.

James stared down at her, his hazel eyes struggling with something that Lily couldn't read. They were so close that Lily could smell the campfire on his clothes and she could see every single strand of hair that fell into his eyes. Her eyes searched his for the answer to whatever question he was thinking.

"She was wrong." She told him truthfully, "You're a great teacher." She tried to get him to smile, "I don't see anyone else around here letting me kick their arse in a duel."

Suddenly, he tore himself from her grip and went walking off towards the fields.

Lily called out to James as he retreated, "For what it's worth, I think you're a great captain." James turned to look at her, opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, and then thought better of it.

Sirius snorted, "I saw that!"

Innocently Lily looked at Sirius who had come out of the tent looking ruffled, "What?"

Sirius teased her, despite his prickly body language, "You like him don't you?"

Lily flushed, "No, I—"

Sirius sighed, "Yeah right, Yeah sure. Look, let's go to your tent. I think it's time I took this Minister's Council into my own hands." Sirius rubbed his hands together and had a nasty look in his grey eyes.

Lily led the way with a thousand questions bubbling on hr lips.

"Why was she so—"

"Nasty?" Sirius smiled knowing whom Lily was asking about, "Colbie's always been that way, ever since James was picked to Captain this branch of Auror Scouts instead of her brother Calvin."

Lily huffed, stomping the ground childishly, "She was so mean!"

"You have to be heartless to work in the Ministry." Sirius said dryly, "The millions of witches and wizards you have to lie to everyday to make yourself feel better—Colbie was practically raised for the job."

At Lily's questioning look Sirius sighed and shook his head, grabbing her arm and steering her to her tent faster.

"The Ministry has downplayed everything about this war, they are determined to make everyone feel safe…even though the world is getting darker by the minute. Maybe if people had been on their guard a lot sooner—the Ministry wouldn't be so close to falling." This was the first time Lily had ever heard Sirius so vindictive about the Ministry.

"Why didn't Colbie want us to go into battle?" Lily asked as they entered her tent and Sirius went to a small writing desk holding papers and a quill.

"James deviated from the Ministry's teaching a bit—" at Lily's quizzical look Sirius smiled, "Where James used real life experiences to raise his Scouts…the Ministry prefers a more simplified textbook lesson."

While Lily watched with a speculative expression, Sirius sat down on her cot and rolled out the parchment on his lap. Lily sat down next to him, trying to go through everything that had just happened.

"So…James is in trouble because he prepared us too much?"

"James is in trouble because Colbie wants him to be." Sirius scoffed, "Colbie reports directly to the Minister and what Colbie says—goes."

"But that's not fair!" Lily said unhappily.

"Welcome to politics." Sirius snarled, dating the parchment on his lap, "Luckily, there's a loophole to our dilemma."

"Which is?"

"How would you, a Captain on the front running short on Scouts, get James to the front lines quickly?"

Lily's eyes lifted from the parchment in Sirius' hands to Sirius' face and back again. "Write a letter?"

"Atta, girl." Sirius grinned malevolently and passed her the parchment, "Would you write it then? You have good handwriting."

Lily whistled through her teeth and wrote a quick note she thought could suffice. She had no idea how to write a war note but she figured it couldn't be that hard, it just had to make James believe they were needed at the front. Sirius grabbed it before the ink dried and read it out loud.

"Okay, okay, let me see..." his eyes squinted at her cursive writing, "Dear James, we're waiting for the Death Walkers at the Underground Pass and it would mean a lot if you'd come and back us up." He dropped the parchment with a roll of his eyes and snorted sarcastically, "That's great except you forgot, 'and since we're all out of potpourri, maybe you wouldn't mind bringing up some.' Lily, this a war! Make it sound more urgent, _please_?"

Lily swore and grabbed the parchment back from him with a glare, "Why am I writing it, if I can't do it the way you want?" But Lily rewrote the letter on a new sheet of parchment, making her cursive less perfect and the wording more urgent. Sirius didn't even finish reading it when he grabbed her arm suddenly and said "That's better, much better. I'll see you in the morning."

"Sirius." Lily said again more dramatically, "Where are you—"

"Shut up and let me do my work Lily. Go to bed." Sirius said, pushing her back on her mattress whens he stood up to join him.

"No." She stood back up, wobbling a bit on her boots as she did.

"Stubborn arse." He said, but with affection.

"I learned from the best." She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Fine, then you've got the hardest job," Sirius grinned.

"What's what?"

"Distracting James."

"What—I—"

But it was already decided and in one moment she was comfortable in her own little tent, the next she was peeking through James' tent flaps like a child who was peeping in on a crush. James looked up at the movement and looked immediately annoyed with the sight of her.

"What is it?" he asked.

She had interrupted what looked like a study session; Lily stepped into his warm tent and was immediately struck by the scent of pines. She imagined it was from his shoes after his walk in the field. James adjusted his glasses and observed her with sharp look. Sirius had given her twenty minutes and she had to keep him in his tent.

"You'll find something." Sirius had teased and Lily had simply smacked away his _considerations_.

"What are you reading?" she asked finally, blushing as she thought of Sirius' suggestions.

James pointed to the book, "It's a History book, on the caves."

"Anything you didn't already know?" Lily took it upon herself to sit down across from him, arms wrapped around her.

James observed her over his desk with more urgency, "Is something wrong?"

She stared up at him and was instantly reminded of another time and place—back when James was one of her friends and not her captain.

 _He stood over her just as he was doing now; only he was doing it almost overprotectively. She had been crying after someone had tried assaulting her in the hallway after rounds and he was consoling her. The only company they had was a crackling fireplace and Lily's sniffles. It had been the one time Lily had seen James as something more than a friend._

" _They're all cowards Lily," he told her, wrapping her up in his arms tightly, "People who tell you you're not worth anything, people who call you names…they're just cowards who don't know themselves and push their insecurities on rare and beautiful souls like you..."_

Lily bit her lip and looked up at James, her friend, her Captain. She so desperately wanted to reiterate what he'd told her all those years before but she had a feeling that would give away everything…she had a feeling James hadn't forgotten that moment anymore than she had. The lingering kiss he'd planted on Lily Evans' cheek that night had been an invitation she'd never taken him up on.

"Nothing." She lied.

"You're a horrible liar." James noted.

Lily raised one of her eyebrows in justification, "You really want to know what I think?"

James put down his book, obviously interested in her thoughts.  
Lily took a deep breath and spoke her mind, "You shouldn't have let Colbie get to you. I know you think she's right about any of those ridiculous things she said but she can't be. She's not even close to knowing you." James' jaw was clamped shut and his mouth twitched, "I mean it James, you should've hexed that witch right out of camp. Minister's Council or not—she is a bully and the James that I know-"

"The James that _you_ know?" James looked interested and he stood up, coming around the desk to be closer to her.

Lily faltered, "I mean—"

James' hazel eyes were inquisitive, "You think you know me? After two months?"

Lily made her green eyes flicker up into his hazel framed eyes, "Yes." She squeaked unknowingly.

He seemed to find her _yes_ amusing, because he laughed, "Alright then, who I am I?" when she didn't answer, he brushed back her black hair from her shoulder, delicately, "Who are you?"

Lily stood up, so that they were at least closer in height—James still managed to tower over her. Lily thought of Remus and of Sirius. She thought of the times they'd spent together in the libraries and the times that James had surprised them with food on the lawn after a hard exam. She thought about Quidditch matches and watching James dominate as Captain then, just as he did now. Lily thought of the quiet moments with her girlfriends by the lake and the many times those quiet afternoons were ruined by the arrival of James and his mates.

It had been a while since she had thought of her time at Hogwarts—all of the good times she'd had. She missed it, the feeling of being herself. She missed not having to hide from the world and she most definitely missed her freedom of expression…

Even now, masquerading as someone who had more political freedom than Lily Evans, Lia Lupin was at a loss for words while staring at James Potter.

Lily Evans had a millions and one things running across her lips, things that would cause trouble for everyone she held dear.

"Captain. Urgent news from the Ministry. We're needed at the front."

Lily jumped away from James and stared at the floor, her face beet red. Sirius looked like he'd run a million kilo's and even had a Ministry owl (somehow) attached to his right shoulder. Even in her embarrassment, Lily had to give the boy some credit—even dramatically—he lied well.

James tore his eyes from Lily's fallen face and looked at his second in command, "Who sent it?"

"Alice Longbottom." Sirius handed the letter, written in Lily's talented cursive, "Frank's wife."

Sirius grins at Lily, and they high five behind James' back when he turned to grab his wand.

"Pack your bags, Lupin." James barked the order quickly, "We're moving out."

 **~~~when will my reflection show who I am~~~**

Lily had no idea how much walking was required in war. They'd been walking for at least three days, hiding out in moors and struggling to go unnoticed as they found the closest entrance to the caves. James was determined to get ahead of the Death Walkers and catch them by surprise.

"How does he even know where this entrance is?" She moaned to Sirius, "Aren't the caves like mazes?"

"He's going to the last station for the Aurors, at an underground spring." Sirius explained, "It was the closest one to the entrances to the Ministry—it's the cavern most protected because of its quick access to the Ministry."

"Think about our families back home and how proud they'd be of us." Arnold Palmer said with a smile, "After we defeat the Death Walkers."

Lily and Sirius exchanged a smirk and a look. Both their families certainly were not proud of their choices but they weren't the only ones with weird families.

"My Aunt is probably hoping I die so she doesn't have to raise me anymore." Kion muttered, sniffing at the awkward silence that followed, "She's convinced I killed her favorite House Elf but the thing was a walking gravestone."

They walked until they reached an old mansion crumbled from time and lacking in warmth. When Lily happened past one of the windows of the old mansion she thought she spotted a ghost. The silence on the property was deafening and the mist surrounding them made the place seem like it was from a nightmare. James lead them around to the back of the masion where a large English Garden gave way to a bubbling brook and rocking outcropping. At the base of the outcropping of rocks was a hole just large enough for a man to slip through.

"Look for movement. It could be an ambush." James warned all of them, "The Aurors are going to be around here somewhere too, don't hex unless you're sure it's a Walker."

"If you wrote James a fake letter from the Aurors…" Lily whispered to Sirius as they all one-by-one crawled through the rocks, "what are they going to do when he shows up unannounced?"

"No one's going to question back up," Sirius assumed, "Not this close to the fight."

Lily took her turn crawling on her stomach through the dirt and into the caves. It took her eyes a long time to adjust and then they finally did all she could see where the whites of the eyes of her friends staring back at her.

Lily stood up, her wand raised as she wandered farther into the dark cave. Her own footsteps echoed off the surrounding wall like a clock counting down to her meeting with death. James was at her side, wand aloft and shining light across the cavern walls. They walked along the path for a while, everyone following at a slow pace behind. No one dared make a sound.

They finally came to an opening of rocks and a faint sound of rushing water was heard. They came around the bend and covered their mouths in awe of the waterfall from nowhere.

"I don't understand." He whispered to Lily in the moment of awe, "Alastor should be here."

Sirius called from an overlook into the cavern where the waterfall was seeping into, "Captain!"

Sirius pointed down to the slope of his standpoint and James and Lily walked towards him with concerned faces. Sirius' face was sheet white and Lily instantly knew why when she looked over the bluff.

The waterfall crashed into a blue tinged water source that ran through the bottom of the cave light a river. Rocks jutted out of the river like spikes and the nightmarish addition of bodies made the image horrifying. Water rushed over the dead faces of witches and wizards that were face up, eyes open to the living despite being so far gone. Someone beside Lily whistled low and Lily felt tears threaten to spill down her cheeks.

Broken wands lay among their bodies and along the bank a few younger bodies were lined along the bank. One woman with thick black hair was cut open in a way that made Lily's stomach lurch and she had to look away.

A strangled sound escaped James' throat and suddenly he was sliding down the embankment towards the water and the inanimate corpses that lay there. His feet splashed into the flowing stream as he landed next to the girl who was cut open. Lily realized in that moment that James knew the girl and she wasn't supposed to be dead at the bottom of the river.

* * *

 **Next Time:**

Lily slowly began loosing the ability to stay awake despite James putting his cool hands on her face, sweeping her hair back fondly.

"Hold on, Lia." He begged, "Hold on. Think of home. Of Remus. Don't give up on him now."

Sirius' terrified voice echoed in her head, "What's wrong with her? Come on Lily stay awake, come on!"

"Lily?"

Her name, so innocently dropping off James' lips, was the last thing Lily heard before she blacked out completely.


	9. Reflections of the Heart

Chapter 9:

I see your future

And it's tied to mine

I look in your eyes and see

You searching for a sign

But you'll never fall

Till you let go

The river made soothing sounds one would compare to a babbling brook despite the horrific nature of the environment. Lily was frozen in her tracks beside Colin and Kion, unsure of what to do or how to help in such a situation. Sirius hadn't slid down the embankment with James but he sat on the edge, holding his face in his hands. James' body was leaning over the broken and battered body of the unnamed female. Lily couldn't see James' face but his shoulders were shaking and she was certain he was talking to the body.

Lily couldn't just stand there and see him that way, not James, who was the strongest person she knew. When they'd been students at Hogwarts, James didn't bat an eye when someone offended him and Lily only saw him cry once. He was strong willed and brave like any true Gryffindor so to see him so vulnerable made Lily's heart break into a million pieces. She never wanted to see him this way again.

She took a step boldly and Kion grabbed her wrist. She looked at him and frowned when he shook his head quickly to discourage her from doing whatever she was thinking of doing. She tore herself from his weak grasp and with the eyes of all the scouts on her; she slid slowly down the embankment to the river.

Her feet splashed into the river like she was jumping in rain puddles but James didn't even bother turning to see who had joined him. As the watery soil saturated her shoes she went towards the boy cradling the dead on the bank.

He wasn't crying but fat tears slipped from her eyes as she reached down to put a hand on his shoulder. James twisted quickly and when their eyes met his face contorted in an unattractive way. He twisted away from her just as quickly and they both gazed at the dead girl.

Her body was all torn up but her face was clear as day, round and full of life, despite being lifeless. Her black hair spread out like a halo in the river and her glassy blue eyes stared at nothing. Lily saw that the woman also had bruises covering her arms and she suddenly felt sick in her stomach thinking of what could have happened at the riverbank.

Lily couldn't bare and look at a body so damaged any longer so she bent down and took the girls head in her lap before she brushed the numb blue eyes closed. James drew back and watched her work in concern. She drew her wand and tapped it lightly over the girl's chest, covering her with beautiful flowers that hid the body scars and bruises. It was the most Lily could offer as a burial for the lost girl.

James cleared his throat, "Thank you." He was staring at the ground, away from Lily and the girl.

Lily looked up at him, brushing away her tears with her sleeve as she did so, "I'm sorry." She told him sincerely.

James stared at her for a few moments before whispering, "It's okay."

He got up and put his hand on Lily's shoulder in consolation as he stepped away from the fallen girl.

"We can't stay here grieving." James muttered, almost to himself.

Lily slowly got up, "She's your cousin isn't she? The one you said you lost."

James' shoulders realigned, "I found her." He said almost bitterly.

Lily jumped forward, angry at his nasty manner, "Hey!"

"What Lia?" he walked towards her, looming over her like a dark cloud, "What could you possibly have to add to this?"

She stood her ground despite his frustration, "Don't be like this." She gestured to all of him, "Don't be mad!"

"She just had a child!" he roared back, "She was twenty one!" his voice was breaking, "twenty one years old." His lip wobbled and his voice dropped again, "and she was murdered in cold blood."

Lily took his moment of weakness and stepped forward to grab his hand. He stared at their connected fingers while she spoke slowly.

"She wouldn't want you to think like that."

James tore his hand from hers and looked up at the embankment. The scouts were still staring down at them. James looked back at her and they stared into each other's eyes. James' mood seemed to shift as they stared and his face relaxed as his eyes traced her expression carefully.

"The Death Marchers are moving quickly." He said, and then spoke loudly for the Scouts, "We'll make better time to the Ministry through the streets above. There's an entrance back into the streets by an old Abby. We're the only hope for the Ministry now. Let's move out!"

Lily took one more look at the girl with the flowers as James climbed up the embankment to the Scouts. Twenty-one years old and dead with a child who would grow up without a mother. Lily ripped her eyes away from the woman only for her eyes to fall on the other dead witches and wizards. How many of them were leaving behind a family…and would Lily end up like them?

Lily followed behind James, keeping her lips tightly shut. The other scouts stepped aside once they reached the top of the embankment again. Lily was panting from trying to keep up with James' long legs and Colin took her hand to help her take the last few steps. They exchanged a glance at James together and Lily could see the Scouts were worried for their Captain as much as she was.

Once they had found their way back through the caverns they'd entered, James broke into the mansion and split the Scouts into three groups. Lily, Colin, Kion, Goldstein, and Alex made up the smallest group. James spoke with each of the groups separately, giving them specific orders on where to apparate, when to meet, and what the goal was. When he reached Lily's group he paused for a moment to look at her before giving them their orders.

"You five will be with me. We're apparating first to the Church in Whitehall."

"Whitehall?" Kion sounded surprised, "We're not going back into the caves?"

"Whitewall has the closest entrance to the main cave, actually." Alex, the quietest of the five, spoke up, "It runs in a circle around the entire ministry."

"Why didn't the Death Walkers just walk in through there?" Lily asked, brushing her hair back.

"They wanted to keep the element of surprise." James said, "If you went stomping through the Church the Ministry would have an easier time fighting because we would know when they were coming. Going through the caves from the back entrance means they could take days—or weeks."

"They're going to fast through the caverns for it to be any coincidence." Sirius entered the conversation from afar, "Jamie's group wasn't supposed to make contact with any Death Walkers for another week at most."

Jamie, Lily then realized, was the girl that James was distraught over. James' eyes wavered miserably for a moment before he regrouped himself.

"Their leader, Gregory, he must have a map." James said, "Even though they've been kept hidden for centuries."

"Aren't there a lot of protections inside the caves to deter this from happening?" Goldstein sniffed, "Let's just wait and see if a dragon eats them for us."

"If they made it to the waterfall," James dejectedly put, "Then they got past the dragon."

Lily pursed her lips and sighed, "When do we leave?"

"In two minutes." James moved his glasses back up his nose and look at his Scouts, "The others will follow in fifteen minute intervals."

Lily sat with a silent Sirius at the edge of the group while James explained how to navigate the underground tunnels at the church. It was night so they should be able to get into the graveyard with no problem but James wasn't taking any chances. Lily could care less about their next plan because she was still concerned with what happened in the caves. She had to ask Sirius about what happened by the springs.

It took her a moment but she finally bucked up the courage to ask, "What was her name?"

"Jamie McNeill." Sirius knew whom she meant instantly, "James' cousin, mine as well, but she comes from my world...purebloods and bigotry."

"McNeill is a pureblood name?" Lily didn't recognize it from Hogwarts.

Sirius sniffed perceptively, "No, maiden name was Potter. She married a muggle man and that was a big scandal for her father Charlus." He suddenly smiled, "You would've liked her."

Lily recalled that James had compared her to the woman he'd lost in the caves. She wondered if they could have been friends, if death hadn't ripped her from life so quickly.

"Come on Scouts!" James broadcasted, "It's time to move out."

Lily and Sirius exchanged a grim expression and Lily took Sirius' hand as they walked over to join her small group.

"Stick by James," Sirius whispered to her as they got ready to apparate, "I'll be in the back of the group—you make sure he doesn't do anything stupid..."

Sirius squeezed her hand reassuringly before pushing her towards James who looked embarrassed when they joined hands to apparate as a group. Lily reached out and took hands with Kion too, whose face was pale as the moon on the horizon. It seemed seeing all the dead bodies had affected his impulsive personality.

The Church that had the passageway into the caverns that led under the Ministry was on the outskirts of Whitehall. James was determined to beat the Death Walkers but they had to be inconspicuous since the church was muggle owned. Lily's group slunk into the Abby unnoticed and waited for an hour as the other Scouts filtered in under Sirius' direction from back at the Mansion.

Finally, everyone was cramped in a storage room in the back of the church and James whispered for them to follow him. The darkness of the night shrouded the group as they entered a graveyard. Lily felt weird walking on the graves of people so she did her best to dance around the grave edges, wincing when she stepped on a plot of freshly dug dirt. Lily noted that James' feet trod through the dirt without pause.

They reached a giant tomb made of white marble and in impressive condition for how old it was. James paused, holding a hand out to stop Lily when she went to step on the stairs.

"It's enchanted." James whispered when she stared at him.

"What is?"

"The entrance." James answered, "The Ministry protected it with spells that do not allow anyone holding a wand to enter the tomb."

Frustrated with the thought of waiting any longer, Kion jeered, "How will we get in without our wands?"

"Is there a way to lift the enchantments?" Lily asked, bothered as well that they'd just reached a major roadblock.

James shook his head, "No, all I know is that you can't cross the threshold with a wand."

Kion, aggravated, pulled out his wand and tossed it at a alarmed Lily, "hold this." He snarled.

Without even pausing, Kion walked up the enchanted steps and opened the door to the tomb using his entire body to push the heavy wooden door. Lily only saw pitch black in place of the door. Kion stepped brazenly into the darkness.

"Kion!" James shouted for his scout, unease flooding his tone.

"I'm okay!" Kion shouted from someplace inside the tomb, "You're right, this leads to the caverns, and it's all downhill. But I can't see anything else! It's too dark!"

"Don't move!" James barked the order and Lily saw him moved towards the steps but then he was flown back the moment his feet hit the marble.

The enchantment was still in place.

Sirius helped James up and whispered something to him, James' hazel eyes were determined, "We have to get everyone in with their wands." James hissed at Sirius.

Lily bit her lip and stared at the tomb in perplexity. It made sense that the Ministry would want only those without a wand to enter because then they wouldn't be a threat. A witch or wizard without a wand was not as dangerous as a witch or wizard with a wand. James was right, they had to get in, and the Death Walkers could be close. Lily took her wand from her own pocket and balancing it with Kion's wand. She wondered if the enchantment was merely paired with a body. Could a wand enter the tomb if it was unattached to a magical body?

"Kion?" Lily called for the boy inside the tomb.

"Yeah?"

"Move out of the way for a second…" she said.

"Lia you are not going—" James started to say but Lily silenced him with a sharp look.

She heard Kion scuffling someplace and picked up his wand while taking a deep breath. She had to try something so they weren't all just standing there, stuck with no way to stop the Death Walkers. She threw Kion's wand as hard as she could, expecting it to bounce back against the shield enchantments.

She was pleasantly surprised when the wand soared through the doorway and she heard it clatter onto the floor inside the tomb. She laughed nonsensically and looked back at James, expecting to see his smile but he was just staring at her foolishly like he was in love with her.

"How'd you-?" he gestured to the wands and back to her in shock, "I mean…did you _know_ that was going to work?"

Lily beamed and put her hand on her hips proudly, "No, but enchantment charms _always_ have loopholes."

James looked like he could kiss her but refrained himself from doing so as he ordered everyone to go one at a time. Sirius high fived Lily as the other Scouts followed suit, throwing their wands past the doorway first and then entering the tomb. Lily was one of the last to go into the catacomb. She chucked her wand and then raced up the steps and into the tomb that was now lit up by the other Scouts wands, which had all been redistributed by a sneering Kion.

When he offered Lily her wand he winked, "We make a good team, Lupin."

Lily snorted and rolled her eyes but she was covertly entertained. Despite their differences in the past, Kion's nerve and Lily's dexterity did work well together. They stood next to each other, waiting for James to enter the tomb last.

Sirius came to stand beside Lily, slinging an arm around her as James brushed dirt off his beloved wand.

"Let's go!" James said, motioning for everyone to follow him down the dark hallway that sloped downward into an empty abyss, "and stay quiet, there could be Death Walkers anywhere as far as we know."

As they descended farther into the caverns the air became thicker and the walls became closer. Lily shuffled in the back beside Sirius who was keeping his eyes alert for any movement behind them. It seemed they had been walking or hours when the cavern finally opened up a bit and led into a large rock room that dropped down even farther into little puddles of water that formed from dripping water on the cave ceilings.

Stalactites hung from above like black icicles and the floor was covered in rocky substance that hurt through Lily's shoes. She walked carefully, trying to avoid the sharp bits that rose from the floor. Kion moved just as slow in front of her and behind her Alex was muttering to himself not the trip.

Sirius seemed to have ease walking on the sharp floor and took a moment to tease Lily, pretending to be her. He held his arms out like a tightrope walker and feigned falling multiple times. Lily sent him a hard stare and he laughed at her expression. Lily reached out to push him away from her but when she moved slightly out of her path, she slid her ankle against one of the sharp shards.

The surprise of the sharp rock against her skin made her call out and fall to the ground, her hands crashing against the unsympathetic ground. Everyone paused and the wandlight fell on Lily groaning and holding her ankle, surveying the damage. She'd only been grazed through her pant leg.

"What happened?!" James insisted when he reached Lily on the floor glaring crossly up at Sirius.

Sirius just chuckled ruefully.

"You just gave away our position. Now we're—"

Suddenly, without warning, a flash of yellow light hit James in the shoulder and he fell to the ground beside Lily, clutching his shoulder. Lily stared in horror as blood began seeping from the wound on his shoulder in moments. Instead of staying on the ground James winced against the pain and stood up, reaching down to grab Lily's shirt and pulling her up as well.

"Get out of range!"

He shouted to his scouts and Lily saw the reason why as she wobbled in her standing position. On the other side of the open cave were men dressed in black, covered in dirt and a hallowed look that could only be from spending months underground.

"Death Walkers." Lily whispered, horror sweeping through her bones.

The Scouts hurriedly run away, their shoes become torn up on the sharp rocks. Lily trailed behind James with Sirius and Kion swiftly following her. Spells were ricocheting off the rock and causing bit of rock to be blasted around them. Their bodies were being pelted with hard little pellets of rock.

Lily threw up her wand and tried to create a shield charm round her and her friends but she couldn't focus and her shields were weak. If they weren't separated soon, the Death Walkers would massacre each of them, one at a time. There was only one thing standing in between the Death Walkers and the Ministry and Lily knew the Walkers wouldn't stop until every last Scout was dead. Lily's brain flashed images of Jamie and her fellow Scouts dead and forgotten in the springs.

She _couldn't_ let that happen, not again.

She stopped running and turned to face the Death Walkers, they outnumber James' squad by at least fifty men. She felt small and insignificant for a moment and she looked down at her reflection in the pooled stalactite water. Lia's pale face was frightened and Lily sighed at the reflection staring back at her. Then she spotted something in the corner of the reflection: the ceiling of stalactites. Spells rush past her face as she hurries headlong into the warzone with a sudden idea to even the playing field.

"Lia, come on!" Sirius shouted at her from somewhere behind, "Where are you going?"

"Lupin!" James shouted after her, alarm in his pitch.

Lily stared at the rock filled ceiling and at a particular point in the ceiling where a large formation of stalactites had formed and reformed, creating a great chandelier of rock. The Death Walkers are still marching forward, a man at the front is sneering at her as he got closer. A black bird danced in front of her vision but she held steady, ready to die to make sure the Death Walkers won't hurt her friends. .

Gregory, the man James had said was leading the attack, was close enough now that he could probably hit Lily with a easily targeted spell. A man with vivid red hair stood beside Gregory, his wand pointed directly at Lily's heart.

"Hey!" Lily turned her head for a fraction of a second to see that James was running towards her from the opposite end of the cave, looking rattled, "What are you doing?!

With a bite of her lip, Lily pointed her wand up to the ceiling and shouted, " _reducto_!"

James reached her and grabbed her arm, pulling her while pointing his wand at Gregory in defense quickly, yelping at her, "You bloody missed him! How could you miss? He was three feet in front of you!"

Lily grinned wickedly, Gregory seemed to be in shock at the event that just happened, more amused that Lily had missed him as well. But she hadn't missed, not really. The spell hit the rocks and in that moment, suddenly everything was happening really fast. An explosion set off an avalanche of rocks from the ceiling. A large stalactite crashed right in front of Lily and James, knocking them back farther from Gregory who now looked furious.

Then Lily could no longer see the dark haired man because rock dust was covering his body as the cave crashed down around them. Flashes of red and green light filtered through the dust and Lily dodged the spells thrown by her attacker, shouting at James to run. She felt herself get struck in the side by a rock or wayward spell when she turned to grab James and pull him into a loping run with her.

"Faster!" she shouted at James who was staring at her dumbfounded as they ran, "Go, deeper into the caverns!"

The rocks were falling everywhere now, crashing into the ground like muggle bombs.

"James!" Sirius shouted from the other end, Lily can see his slim form through the rock crumbling, "Run! Faster!"

Lily grabs James' hand, pulling him along with her as they race for their lives through the crumbling cave. Behind them, darkness closed in as the only other way out of the cave was cut off by the falling rock. Lily glanced back to see rocks crashing against the place where Gregory had stood, threating her friends and the Ministry. He and his troops were nowhere to be seen among the rock shambles.

Finally, they reach their Scout family and Lily crashes into the arms of her friends who are exclaiming loudly. The darkness of the cave walls is no longer alarming, knowing that the rock avalanche had saved their lives.

"Step back guys, give 'em some air." Sirius panted, but he grabbed Lily into a warm hug as soon as Colin had let go of her.

James was leaning on his knees, catching his breath fro the run, "Lia, you are the craziest woman I've ever met." Lily laid her head against Sirius' shoulder, grinning at him absurdly, "And for that I owe you my life."

"You're welcome." She waved his thanks away, trying to hide the fact that she had pain in places she didn't know were possible to feel pain.

Sirius beamed smugly at Lily like a father, "Let's hear it for Lia! The bravest of us all!"

Everyone cheered and Lily started standing up right without the support of Sirius or Colin but when she felt a wrench of pain in her side she slid back against the closest wall, moaning. She gripped her side and that only made her cry out again in pain. Even Kion looked nervous as Lily stayed on the floor.

"Captain," Kion said quickly, "She's definitely hurt."

"Lia what's wrong?" James immediately bent down to her level; worry flooding his face and making her immediately try to put on a brave face.

"I'm fine." She managed to stutter but as she lifted up her shirt she quickly saw that she was the farthest thing from okay. The color drains from Sirius' face and Lily feels slightly queasy at the blue, black, and bright red swelling on her side.

Lily removed her hand slightly to show the blood on her hand and panic flooded James' face and he loudly exclaimed, "She's wounded badly, get help!"

"Where's our Healer!" Sirius snapped quickly, his impatient voice radiating through the Scouts, "She's lost a lot of blood!"

Lily slowly began loosing the ability to stay awake despite James putting his cool hands on her face, sweeping her hair back fondly.

"Hold on, Lia." He begged, "Hold on. Think of home. Of Remus. Don't give up on him now."

Sirius' terrified voice echoed in her head, "Merlin, what'd they hit her with? Come on Lily stay awake, come on!"

" _Lily_?"

Her name, so innocently dropping off James' lips, was the last thing Lily heard before she blacked out completely.

 **~~~True to your heart~~~**

James leaned against the door of the room he'd stashed himself in after he'd left her there, Lily Evans. He'd left her alone in the hospital bed and it was twisting his heart painfully in different directions. James pushed his hands through his hair madly and tried to think of all those times in the past two months when she'd given him the signs, when she'd been nothing but a taller Lily with black hair. He recollected every moment. When he'd questioned her hands, so familiar in his own. When her green eyes sparkled when she laughed her refreshingly melodic laugh. When she'd slapped him and had been horrified that he'd kick her out. When he almost _did_ kick her out. When she'd covered Jamie's body with flowers.

When she'd proven time and time again how clever and beautiful and kind she was.

James had thought once or twice that Lia Lupin was strangely familiar and that she had similarities with Lily Evans but he'd never imagined she could really be the vivacious red head from his days at Hogwarts.

On the one hand he was relieved to know his less-than-platonic feelings for Lia were better understood now, James had always fancied Lily Evans. It was only right that those feelings would carry on to her alter ego. On the other hand it seemed that he had ruined his only chance at reconnecting with the one girl he fancies because he was her Captain and she had lied to everyone.

Everyone but Sirius.

James groaned and covered his face so that his glasses pressed up against his eyes.

"She's _Lily_." He reminded himself for the eighth time that day.

Sirius had tried to explain why he'd let Lily, _their sweet sixth year Lily_ , stay and fight in a war.

"She was miserable, James." Sirius had whispered when they'd gotten her in with a healer, "she was trying to live magic-less. Her parents were trying to marry her off to the next available bachelor just to keep her occupied."

James didn't reckon any man would be able to fully occupy Lily Evans but he certainly would've liked to have the chance. He had memorized her likes and dislikes, as friends and he knew he could make her happy. He knew she loved charms and potions. He knew she fancied taking walks on summer nights. He knew she was the kindest person and would go to war for her friend who would have it much worse than she if he went to war.

James desperately wished he could go back into her hospital room and sweep her into a hug but he had to help her—he had to keep her safe. Lia Lupin was a war hero who would have enemies on the inside. Lily Evans could forever stay another hidden muggleborn in the countryside.

James would rather live a life without her if it meant she could live, rather than live a life with her by his side and end up finding _her_ body broken in a cavern. James imagined her accompanying him out of the Hospital, arm in arm, like they could have been together if he was a coward. James wasn't a coward though; James was brave and was going to walk away from the temptation of the woman who had walked right back into his life with open arms just so that she could live the life she deserved.

 **~~~True to your heart~~~**

There are voices and Lily cannot feel the sharp pain in her side anymore but she notes her ankle feels a lot worse than it should. She opened one of her eyes and the first thing she noted was that instead of black hair sweeping across her pillow, auburn and dark gold strands fall across her eyes. Her hair wasn't Lia's color anymore.

She sat up quickly, holding onto the sheets to cover her chest. The room she was in was packed with people she knew, and someone she didn't know. James is by the doorway, head bent until Sirius makes a sound at her side, looking hopeful as she blinked owlishly at the man at the foot of her bed.

"Dad?" she whispered at the sight of her father, looking heaps older than the last time she'd seen him.

"Lily!" her father hurried and seized her into a hug.

Lily didn't hug him back because her green eyes had found James' quiet and sullen stare at the doorway. A woman with bright red lipstick stood at his side looking positively patronizing. Lily recognized her after a moment as Colbie…the Minister's right hand.

"Uh, I can explain." She says quickly, breaking from her fathers hug to reach out to James.

Colbie's lips formed a thin line before she spoke harshly "So it's true. A muggleborn."

"She snuck in, alright. I had no idea." James snapped to the woman, he looked furious and Lily slunk her outstretched arm back to her side.

"Some Captain you are, not triple checking the background of all your soldiers, you're lucky this _imposter_ wasn't working for the other side." The woman snapped angrily, staring James eye to eye thanks to her red high heels.

Lily huffed, "I'm not an imposter. There was no Lia Lupin, okay? My name is Lily Evans."

The woman grumbled, "You could go to Azkaban for this," she shook her finger at James and then turned on Lily cowering on her bed, "although that might be safer for you, Evans, considering the pureblood's will want you dead for sure now. This is exactly why the law said no muggleborns, because your jeopardize the safety and security of our world!"

Lily felt tears welling in her eyes, "I didn't mean for it to go this far. " Lily quarreled back with tears rolling down her cheeks, "This war is about _all_ of us. If the Ministry falls then muggleborns don't stand a chance. No one does."

The woman got in Lily's face and spoke to her while she winced, "Muggleborns have no rights to begin with in _this_ war." Colbie's eyes narrowed, "You should've stayed in your world, the world you were bon in, it's where you are the safest."

 _That was the thing,_ Lily thought as she struggled to wipe away all her tears _, she didn't belong in her parent's world any longer and she could no longer lie to her reflection in the mirror._

"She's the reason the Death Marchers never made it into the Ministry." Sirius spoke up angrily at her side, always the loyalist, "You should be thanking her!"

The woman turned to James, "Hmph, Captain?"

James looked around the room once and then his eyes decisively rested on Lily.

"A life for a life." He whispered.

"James…" Sirius started as if he knew what James was thinking.

James held up a hand to his second in command, "You know the law." He looked back at Lily, "Go home with your father, Lily."

"James," Lily pleaded from the bed, pushing away her father's hug.

Sirius got into James' face, "you can't just..."

"No, Sirius." James whispered, "Just, no."

James pushed Sirius out of his way and stomped from the hospital room. Lily turned her watery eyes on her father. Disappointment was on every inch of his face.

"Dad." Her voice broke.

He spoke gruffly, "We're going home."

Sirius helped her pack her things. They didn't start speaking until Sirius slammed his fist on the bedside table when he heard Lily sniff back another sob.

"I just thought—" he struggled, looking at her sadly, "I thought we could make this work."

Lily sat down on the bed again and somberly stared at the wall, "I should never have left home."

Sirius sighed and touched the top of her head lovingly, "Eh, come on, you wanted to help save one of my best friends. You know, you just gotta, you gotta learn to let these things go."

Lily let the tears fall freely as she whispered, "Maybe I didn't go for Remus. Maybe what I really wanted was to prove I could do things right. So when I looked in the mirror…" she looked at her reflection in the metal bedframe, "I'd see someone worthwhile. But I was wrong. I see nothing."

"Evans," Sirius wiped the tears from her cheeks, "I can see you, I've seen you go back to the Lily I knew at Hogwarts, not the one society wants you to be." Sirius saw Lily was not cheered up by his actions. Sirius sighed and sat next to her sighing, "The truth is we're _both_ frauds." Lily looked at him in surprise, "I should've sent you packing the moment you stepped foot in camp but I remembered how happy you made James…and he was really hurting with this Captaining. I tried everything to cheer him up and nothing worked-the real reason I helped you was because I was hoping bringing you back would somehow wake James up, to get him to get him to stop fighting so hard for the future when he couldn't even enjoy the present. I mean, you risked your life to help people you love. I risked your life to help myself because I missed my best friend. At least you had good intentions."

Lily smiled at Sirius through her tears and put her head on his shoulder lovingly, "Maybe we were both wrong." She said softly.

"I'll have to face James sooner or later." Sirius groaned, holding a hand out to Lily, "We started this thing together and that's how we'll finish. I promise."

They get Lily's bags and start walking from the hospital to meet her father at the waiting parked car in the streets. Out of the corner of her eye Lily spots a man with vibrant red hair that swung I front of his shifty eyes. _She knew him._ She'd seen him in the caves beside Gregory. He was alive and it looked like he'd just gotten treated for a broken arm considering the way he held a bottle of skelegrow.

"Sirius," she nudged him and he saw who she was looking at, "he was in the caves. I _saw_ him."

Sirius was astonished, "What? No." then he got a good look and hissed through his teeth, "That's not good."

"They got out." Lily watched in dismay as the man swept out of the Hospital with his wand tucked in his back pocket, " _How_ did they get out?"

Outside of the glass doors he met up with two other men she could've sworn were also in the caverns. Lily brushed back her red hair and was suddenly thankful she looked unlike Lia Lupin now. There was no telling what those men would do if they spotted 'Lia' from the caverns…

"Some of them could have used magic to protect themselves from the falling rocks if they were smart enough." Sirius grabbed her hands and pulled her to the side of the waiting room, looking around as if he was expecting to see more Death Walkers in their presence.

"Looks like some were." She murmured, "And they got new robes."

"I saw that. They were Ministry ro—" Sirius stopped in the middle of his sentence and looked at her in terror, "Lily, They're having a victory ceremony tonight in the Ministry for James' Scouts. A public ceremony with the Minister of Magic."

"They're going to go after the Minister." Lily covered her mouth with her hand in revelation.

Sirius pulled her away from the glass doors and towards the back of the Hospital.

"Where are we going?" Lily pulled against his hold, "We have to warn James."

"We are, but we can't have your father stopping us." Sirius clarified, "We'll take the back roads. We're only minutes from one of the entrances to the Ministry."

Lily looked back at the double glass doors and bit her lip, how long would her father wait before he realized she was running away again?

 _Did it matter?_ She mused to herself. James was in trouble and she damn well wasn't going to let anything happen to him, even if it did finally kill her.

Lily had proven to her parents time and time again that the magical world was her home now. It only made sense that she would continue to disappoint them if she continued to be the person she was born to be: Lily Evans, a witch.

* * *

 **This chapter had a lot going on drama-wise but I loved writing it! I hope you lot enjoyed reading it!**

 **Next chapter is the last! What are you most excited for? What was your favorite part of this chapter?**

 **xxx**

 **petals**


	10. Reflections of the Future

**Chapter 10**

 **Open your eyes**

 **Your heart can tell you no lies**

 **And when you're true to your heart**

 **I know it's gonna lead you straight to me**

 _Lily smiled brilliantly at him. Her red hair was twisted up in a trendy way with her fridge hanging into her green eyes. James had to resist reaching out to brush that fridge from her eyes just as much as he had to resist eliminating the space between their bodies for a goodbye. Lily's eyes flashed away for seconds to look over James' shoulder where the Hogwarts Express emptied of its student passengers, home for the holidays. When her eyes fluttered back she stuck out her hand and stared at him like a business professional. He couldn't resist smiling at her awkward way of saying goodbye._

 _As soon as their hands connected he could not resist himself any longer so he pulled her into a crushing hug, leaning his head down towards hers._

" _Goodbye." Was all she could say, her voice muffled against his shoulder._

 _He almost said 'screw it' to semantics. He almost told her he really didn't want to leave Hogwarts despite his excitement over being accepted into the Ministry's Auror Academy because it meant he'd probably never see her again._

 _He'd never see her in the mornings at breakfast with her friends. He'd never hang out with her after hours in the common room by the fireplace. He'd never sit in class with her again, arguing over who was going to the Quidditch World Cup. She'd save her gorgeous smile for other new boys in the hallways. She'd forget about him._

 _He'd never forget about her._

 _He'd never imagined he'd become so smitten with Lily Evans._

 _James held her closer, "Take care of yourself, yeah?"_

 _Her face pulled away from his shirt and they stared into each other's eyes—_

"Captain."

James longed for the day he could sit and comb through memories without being interrupted. Unfortunately, those days were long gone. James looked up to see Kion staring at him from the corner of the room, his eyes sympathetic.

"What Kion?" James held the bridge of his nose, letting his glasses slip down his nose a little.

"The Minister is giving the address to the Ministry and your presence has been requested by Colbie."

James felt oddly emotionless as he stood up and a shadow didn't immediately fall over him complaining about Colbie. Sirius had been at his side for the better half of nine years and now he had stayed at the side of the girl—woman—who had tried to sneak her way into an Army.

 _Tried_ , he considered then, _she accomplished it and defeated the Death Walkers with her own cleverness_.

The Ministry was packed to the brim with people cheering for James' Scouts but there were those who observed James when he walked past with intense dislike. James had enemies and friends on both sides but he was safer than Lily would've been if word got out that she was the rescuer. James almost wished he could praise her for her actions in the caverns but his words would fall flat to the ears of the traditionalists. Lily's muggle heritage was a hazard to the conservatives, even the ones calling for muggleborn reorganization.

James' eyes zeroed in on the stage as he and Kion walked though the crowd. His Scouts surrounded it: curious Colin, quiet Alex, and obnoxious Goldstein. James noted his scouts looked out of place and unhappy by the stage. James knew they were hurting about the sudden loss of Lia. James had been forced to tell them that Lia was too injured to return to the Scouts.

"I'd like to see her try and stay away." Colin had sniggered ominously of the persistent witch.

James didn't have the heart to say Lia was never a real person. It would only confuse his Scouts to know that Lia Lupin had been living undercover and was in fact, a muggleborn. James was sure Kion would revoke his sudden friendship with the witch and Alex would be hurt that Lia had lied.

Lily had lied.

Sirius had lied.

James swallowed and continued walking towards the stage. His hazel eyes hooked onto Colbie's obstinate stare. Her ruddy lips were curved into a perfect smile because, despite the public thank you, James was in trouble for letting a muggleborn Scout slip past his knowing. He had a meeting with the Minister of Magic herself once all the exposure died down. James was expecting an immediate dismissal from his Scout Troup. James wouldn't be surprised if Colbie's own brother took over as James' replacement.

"And here he is—" the Minister exclaimed, pointing to James coming through the gathering, "Captain Potter, who led his troops bravely through the caverns and eliminated the Death Walker threat."

Thunderous applause blocked out his hearing and he was blinded behind the flashing lights of the cameras.

No one told James it was going to be this way—victory being so bittersweet.

 **~~~bring honor to us~~~**

 _James held her closer, "Take care of yourself, yeah?"_

 _Her face pulled away from his shirt and they stared into each other's eyes. Lily struggled with the words to tell him it was okay, that she was okay. She struggled to get out how much she was going to miss him and tears flickered in her eyes as they stared deeply at each other. She took a breath, ready to go ahead and tell him to be the best Auror he could be but she couldn't do it._

 _Selfishly she held her tongue, because she could not bring herself to congratulate him when her affections had changed so much in the past few months. She wasn't ready to let him leave—not when they'd just started to get to really know each other. Lily wanted to tell him he'd be great because he was going to be. Lily wanted to tell James how proud she was to call him her friend because she was proud. Lily wanted to tell him so many things but because it meant she'd finally have to say goodbye…she held onto her words._

" _I wish you were a year older—" James said abruptly, "I wish you could come with me."_

" _I wish I could too." Lily tried to fake a laugh even though her heart was crushed, "You'll have to settle for Sirius."_

" _I'll see you again," James swore, hugging her again, "Don't forget me."_

His face, so bright against the camera flashes, made her fall out of her recollections. Forgetting a face like his would be hard; even if they were separated for years she'd know the arch of his jaw and the energy in his eyes. Even now, with his jaw clenched and his eyes closed against the camera flares, Lily saw the boy she'd said goodbye too at Hogwarts. He was tucked away under a Captain's robe but he was there among the flashing lights and the fame.

Lily called out for him, " _James_!"

James continued forward towards the stage and Sirius clucked his tongue, "we're too far away Evans, he can't hear us."

Lily cussed and whirled, looking at Sirius with immediate petulance. Sirius was looking at James too, but his wand was held tightly at his side like he was ready to step into a fight at any moment. Lily knew she should probably pull out her own wand.

"What were you planning on saying to him?" he whispered.

"That the Death Walkers are alive?" Lily murmured back.

"Everyone thinks the Squad defeated the marchers." Sirius sighed back, "The Minister already announced it."

The Minister, a woman with black hair, smiled at the crowd when James shook her hand.

The camera flashes went off again and under the concealment of the flashes Lily saw a man with red hair inching his way towards the platform. Lily knew him; it was the man from the tunnels. Other Death Walkers appeared to her eyes out of the crowd, dressed as Ministry workers.

"No—" Lily began pushing her way through the crowd despite Sirius shouting after her to wait.

The Minister smiled skillfully out at the crowd as the red haired man snuck closer to her and James, "My friends, we will sleep safely tonight thanks to our brave warriors."

People cheered and James flushed up to his roots. Lily pushed and shoved, desperate to reach the red haired man. He was only feet away from Lily but a camera blocked her path to him. His wand was drawn and he was staring menacingly at James. Suddenly, a black owl Lily recognized from the caverns swooped into the hall and squawked loudly.

"The Walkers are here!" Lily shrieked, "Everyone take cover!"

Immediately the scouts and Aurors become defensive. Civilians raced for the escape routes only to be caught in the middle of the standoff. At first no spells were shot, and then someone shouted a spell and that's when the chaos began. Bodies began to fall behind her and Lily panicked. She made her eyes shoot up to the stage and noted the Minister backing up towards a set of double doors that led, God knew where. James was following, wand held aloft at the people surrounding them, yelling at the Minister to get to safety.

The doors behind the stage opened where the Minister was headed and for a moment Lily thought the Minister might be safe but then her stomach dropped at the sight of a man she'd hoped was dead: Gregory. James shouted and whirled around so his back was to the other Walkers so he could try and help the Minister. The red haired man smirked; he'd been waiting for James to turn his back.

The leader of the Walkers grabbed the minister with his wand pointed at her neck and yet every curse James sent there way missed. Lily wondered if James was trying to not hit the Minister who was struggling against her captor. Lily pushed through the throng of people trying to escape and aimed her wand at the red haired man.

"Flage—" Lily started to say a spell but the red haired man spotted her and snarled, throwing a curse her way.

Lily dodged the curse and but then felt herself get knocked back into the stage like a ragdoll thrown across a room. Wiping blood from her lip, Lily stood up and glared at the red haired man heatedly. Before she could retaliate Sirius had materialized and swiftly got trapped in a duel with the red haired man.

"Get the Minister!" Sirius hollered at her.

Lily spun only to see that James was losing his battle.

The doors to where the Minister was dragged were closing quickly as Lily scrambled up the stage. James was running towards the doors before he was hurled back by a spell. Lily stumbled in her hurry to get to James and their bodies collided in the middle of the stage, tangling in a mass of limbs on the floor. His hazel eyes meet her green eyes and suddenly the air, full of combat, became momentarily quiet.

"You came back." He exhaled, heaving himself off of her and helping her to stand up.

"Sirius and I saw one of them in the Hospital." She rationalized, "We had to make sure more didn't survive."

James nodded curtly, "We'll discuss it later—but we have to get the Minister."

"Let's discuss it now," Lily grasped his hand and made him stand at her side instead of run into action, "If we die I want you to know the past three months—every word Lia said to you was true and one hundred percent _me_."

"I know." He said delicately, eyes turning the color of melted caramel, "I'm glad you came back."

Her smile was so bright she could've lit up the sun.

Sirius joined them on the stage moment's later bellowing, "How do we to into that room? We can't let Gregory murder the Minister!"

James tried blasting the door down and Kion soon joined them, attempting the reducto curse. Nothing was dislodging the door. Lily's eyes examined the entrance to the room the Minister and Gregory had disappeared into and saw no way to break through—it was unyielding. Her gaze fell to the floor and that's when her eyes caught wrought iron on the floor _near_ the door.

"An air shaft." She alleged, advancing towards the iron excitedly.

"What?" Kion asked naïvely at her exclamation, blinking at her in confusion when she grinned up at him, "Er, Lia?"

Sirius slapped a hand on Kion's back lightheartedly; "I'll fill you in later." Sirius and Lily shared a secret smile.

"An air shaft!" Lily bent down by the iron and tugged hard at the bars but they were attached to the wall, "The Ministry is concealed under London, fresh air has to come from somewhere!"

James seemed to gather what she was hinting at and knelt down beside her, "You don't think these are—"

"Connected?" Lily smiled sideways at him, "I do believe this might be our way into that room."

"Great, we just escaped one bloody stone trap and now we have to go down another?" Sirius complained as he kept guard over their bodies.

"You, Lily, and Kion stay here." James ordered, "I'll go into the bloody air unit."

She's not strong enough to yank the bars off the stone but James blasts them off easily. If he had been any lankier he might've been in trouble as he got on his hands and knees and crawled into the stone passageway. Lily counted to ten and then got on her hands and knees, peering into the darkness of the airshaft.

"Oh no you don't!" Sirius immediately barked while he and Kion dueled a Walker trying to get to Lily and James, "Evans, _get back here_!"

She smirked at Sirius cheekily and he cursed as she entered the small space. Inside the airshaft she can hear Gregory and the Minister. The channel led in three directions, one left, one right, and one that led above the room. Lily leaned left and got to another airshaft opening. The bars blocked some of her view of the room but she could see the Minister and Gregory established, facing each other.

"Bow." Gregory commanded to the Minister, "Your walls and armies have fallen, and now it's your turn. Bow to me."

Lily narrowed her eyes and brushed her red hair from her face as she saw the Minister stare in insubordination at Gregory.

"I tire of your arrogance. Bow to me!"

The Minister whispered softly, almost so low Lily missed it, "No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it."

Gregory sniggered senselessly, "Then you will kneel in pieces."

Suddenly Gregory and the Minister were no longer alone. James somehow blasted through the ceiling above, falling through with rock and the old iron bars of an airshaft. It was just in time to block the striking blow of Gregory against the Minister. James swiped with his wand from his position onto the floor between the Minister and Gregory but Gregory grabbed James' arm and threw him into a stained glass window to their right with a giant clatter.

James didn't even blink against the pain despite being thrown into glass and grabbed onto a broken colored shard of the glass and flung it at Gregory. Gregory blasted it apart and stomped over to James. James took the lack of space to his favor and launched himself closer to Gregory, punching the old man's face with his free hand covered in blood and glass.

Gregory snarled like a rabid animal and snatched at James, rolling James over on the ground, forcing James to be on his back underneath him.

Lily couldn't let James play hero any longer, tt was her turn to rescue him. She blasted through her part of the airshaft and pointed her wand at Gregory aggressively. Gregory seemed startled by the new arrival and he stared at Lily as she grabbed the Minister, forcing the old woman rather bluntly into the airshaft she had just come from.

"Go!" she shouted at the Minister, "Go!"

The Minister didn't even stop to think as she crawled through the passageway. Lily jumped when unexpectedly; the walls started being blasted apart by an angry Gregory.

"No!" Gregory roared as the Minister fled through the protection of the airshafts.

Lily regarded her surroundings and saw that James was now limp on the floor; her heart felt like it had plummeted to her stomach. Lily looked down at James with a worried look, _was he dead_? Gregory began to approach Lily and her eyes flickered off James for her own safety.

Thinking quickly, Lily pointed her wand at the damaged ceiling where James had fell through. Bit of ceiling were hanging limply, just begging to fall. Lily forced the ceiling to fall in front of the door, blocking Gregory's attempt to recollect the Minister.

As the rocks fell Lily launched over to James' side. She brushed his hair back tenderly, pleased when he reached up to touch her cheek. She began to help him up and they exchanged a meaningful glance.

"Ugh!" Gregory bellowed, startling Lily and making her grip tightening on James' shoulders.

Gregory turned and looked back to see Lily looking concerned while holding up wounded James. Gregory rushed at them with no second thought. James put his arm up in front of Lily, pushing her away from him. James grabbed another shard of glass from the broken window.

Lily backed away to the wall where she'd entered, knowing it was the only escape now. Lily didn't know how they were going to make it out with Gregory so bent on killing at least one of them. Gregory ran up to James, knocked away the glass shaving and struck James in the face. Lily covered her mouth in panic and shouted James' name. Gregory grabbed James by the collar as his head lolled.

Gregory's face was inches from James, "You, you took away my victory!"

Lily had to get Gregory away from James or Gregory would kill him. There was only one person Gregory could blame as much as James, and that was Lia.

Determined to help James, Lily flung a piece of rubble and hit Gregory in the face, " _No_! I did!"

Gregory turned to stare at Lily with perplexity on his face. James shook his head, begging Lily not to do whatever she was about too. Lily sent James an apologetic look before pointing her wand at her head. Red strands turned black as nightfall and Lily watched her reflection in the remaining glass from the window change from Lily Evans to Lia Lupin.

Gregory's dropped James promptly, " _You_." Lily transformed her hair back quickly; feeling more comfortable when red swirled around her eyes, "The Scout from the caverns."

Gregory started after Lily and she turned quickly to slide into the wall to escape him. He crawled after, grunting at the difficultly since he was larger than Lily and James. She couldn't bring herself to let him back into the hall filled with civilians so she maneuvered right instead of back the way she came.

Gregory started shooting spells up the corridor and Lily desperately blasts through a wall for safety. She found herself in an office with desks lining the corners and she raced to a door on the other end. Gregory followed not too far behind, wheezing. Lily closed the door with a latch falling in place as her only safety net. She leaned against the doors, trying to catch her breath. If only all those runs James had made her do at camp were actually helpful.

She yelped in alarm when Gregory punched a hole in the door with his fist and Lily ran away from the doors swiftly down the corridor. She shrieked again when the wall on her right blasted apart but breathed a sigh of relief when James appeared through the blast.

"James, you're okay!" James also looked relieved at the sight of her.

"Where's Gregory?" he inquired.

Gregory responded by blasting the wall to their left apart.

"Found him." Lily said playfully and couldn't help but grin sideways at him as they both ran down the corridor.

James looked worse for wear and Lily knew they couldn't keep running.

"So what's the plan?" James asked at her side.

Gregory fired another spell down the hallway after them.

"Ummmm." Lily pondered as they kept running down a flight of stairs, using the curved stairwell as protection from explosive spells.

James mocked, "You don't have a plan? This one time, when we're about to die, and you have nothing?!"

Lily scoffed, "Hey, I'm making this up as I..." she paused when she spotted a door on their left.

She stopped running and grabbed James' arm to get his attention. She pointed at the sign above the door.

 _The Department of Mysteries_

"James—"

"Way ahead of you."

He reached for her hand and they clasped fingers, bursting through the door together. Gregory followed, not too far behind the couple racing for their lives. The first room they entered, James had to blast a hole through the door in order to even get in. The room was pitch black with planets and stars encircling them like they were actually in space. Had they not been in trouble, Lily would have taken the time to appreciate how beautiful the solar system was but Gregory blasted apart the constellations in front of her and the lights momentarily blinded her.

Gregory caught up to them, hovering beside the figure of the planet Earth. James' hand gripped tightly onto Lily's hand and they both felt the energy moving about the room. Lily's eyes were slowly adjusting and she thought she saw a door to their right…she nudged James and he spotted it too.

"It looks like you're out of ideas." Gregory snarled.

Gregory lunged forward with his wand pointed at James. Lily quickly blocked his oncoming attack with a wave of her own wand, causing one of the planets to move into the way of his curse. The planet, Mars, blew up in Gregory's face, starling him a bit.

"Not quite." She proclaimed with a smile before running for the outline of the door at the end of the hall with James in tow.

"This is mad!" James shouted at her as they pushed through stardust, "We can't just let him follow us through the entire Ministry of Magic, we have to duel him!"

"I know, just…come on!"

Lily knew they'd probably have to duel Gregory but the truth was that she was afraid that if they faced Gregory head-on…one of them might get hurt beyond repair. Lily knew that if she had some sort of leverage—something to beat Gregory with without having to use her dueling skills, they might have a chance at winning from afar.

Lily hoped that the next room was more helpful than the space room. They burst through the door, the pitch black solar system room replaced with a classroom setting that Lily could've found at Hogwarts. Desks sat around green tinged tanks. Tanks full of…

"Merlin," James whistled as they ran past one, "It's _brains_."

The brains floated in a cloudy green mixture, swimming like little fish. Gregory hollered as he entered, when his wayward spell cracked one of the tanks open like the glass had been slit in a V with a knife. Lily and James spun to watch, as brains slid onto the floor and moved around like an octopus on land.

One moment it was quiet as the witch and two wizards observed the brains on the floor and then all of a sudden pearly white strings flew from the brains and wrapped themselves around Gregory. Gregory's face, once red from the running, was now pale as a sheet.

He screamed a blood-curdling scream.

"Oh my—" Lily jumped back away from the brains that were attaching themselves on the man.

"Shit," James wrapped his arms around Lily's waist and stared half carrying her away from the brain closest to them, "We need to leave…"

One of the brains rolled towards the pair, pearly white seeping on the floor near their feet.

"Now!" he shouted and ran backwards with her in tow, until they fell through another door and into a dark but seemingly empty room.

Lily gasped against his hold as they laid on the cold ground while listening to the ongoing screams of Gregory above. Whatever those brains were doing, wasn't pleasant for the man.

"We have to help him," Lily said, not caring that he'd just tried to kill them, only that whatever those brains were doing had to be worse than death.

James murmured, "We have to get out of here first."

Suddenly they weren't alone, cloaked figured appeared around them, wands drawn. For a moment Lily thought it was another trick of the Department of Mysteries but then she spotted Sirius. Lily scrambled up off the floor and raced into Sirius' outstretched arms, James not far behind. They stayed wrapped in each other's arms, each refusing to let go first.

They could still hear Gregory's screams and pleads for help. Lily heard someone order another Auror to go fetch Gregory. Despite not liking the man, Lily felt a pang of pity for whatever had happened in that room full of brains. Lily pulled away from her friends and looked around the room swarmed with Aurors.

Lily was mortified the moment she realized who else was down in the Department of Mysteries with them because at the front of the group of Aurors was the woman with the red lipstick, Colbie.

"That was a _deliberate_ attempt on my life. What a mess." The woman fussed, coming to stand in front of Lily with deliberate menace.

James pushed Lily behind him to show his defense and Sirius whipped out his wand like he needed one more excuse to curse Colbie into the next century. Lily peered around James' arm irritably at Colbie.

The woman tapped her foot, "Stand aside Potter. She's not worth protecting."

James acted like Colbie had offended him instead of Lily, "Listen, you pompous banshee—she's a hero!"

"That is enough!"

Everyone in the room paused, even the man carrying the half dead Death Walker, Gregory. The Minister pushed through the throngs of Aurors just as Gregory was being dragged, unconscious, from the Brain Room. Lily let her glare at Colbie disappear only so that she could glance at the Minister, unsure of the Minister's position in the room.

James pleaded quickly to the Minister when her black eyes fell on Lily behind him, "I can explain."

The Minister motioned for James to stand aside. James held his protective stance for a moment before begrudgingly giving the Minister a clear path to Lily. James didn't go far though and Sirius hovered like a shadow at James' side. Lily sniffed slightly but held out her hand to the Minister polity.

 _Penny Peggyful's Pocketbook of Perfect Woman_ had said the quick way to show respect to elders was a slight shake of the hand. Not that anyone in the wizarding world probably cared about tact and grace in a muggleborn, even still Lily's mother would've been proud. The Minister smiled kindly, accepting Lily's outstretched hand.

As they shook hands the Minister spoke, "I've heard a great deal about you, Lily Evans. You stole a Auror Scouts recruitment letter, ran away from home, impersonated one of my specifically selected soldiers, deceived your commanding officer, dishonored the Auror Department, destroyed my office, and..."

Thought the monologue from the Minister, Lily couldn't help but think back to every moment that had led to the point she was standing in. She looked behind her and saw James and Sirius staring at her proudly, affection vibrant in their eyes. Lily knew Remus would be forever thankful she had risked her life to help him. Lily knew she had become the person she always wanted.

Azkaban, her wand split in half, Lily would take any punishment, knowing she accomplished more than she set out to do.

So when the minister uttered her last words it took Lily a moment to realize what was going on.

"Despite all those things…" The Minister rushed forward and hugged her kindly, "you have saved us all."

Lily looked up at James through the hug and he shrugged, a grin evident on his face as she returned the awkward hug. That's when everyone started clapping in the little room, James and Sirius the loudest. Lily smiled deeply through her unexpected tears. Colbie was the only one not clapping, she stood with her clipboard, staring at James and Lily and Sirius with great dislike.

The Minister stepped back and clapped a little bit herself, "Colbie," she addressed the woman in the red lipstick.

Colbie blinked in misunderstanding, "Minister?"

The Minister smiled again at Colbie's superior tone, "See to it that this woman is made a member of my council, it's time muggleborns have a place among our Ministry. The _new_ Ministry."

James' jaw dropped and Lily clapped her hands to her heart in surprise as Colbie stuttered greatly. Sirius was scratching his head and the Aurors and other Ministry official's in the room whispered to each other. Lily knew it was a big honor, as a muggleborn hadn't been on council, _ever_.

But she couldn't do it.

Lily smiled and shook her head delicately, "With all due respect, ma'am. I have been away from home long enough." But her eyes were tracing James when she said the word 'home' even though he didn't notice.

The Minister nodded in understanding and looked disappointed but even still she took a ring off her finger that had the seal of the Ministry of Magic, "Then take this, so your family will know what honor you have displayed and so that our world will know what you have done for your Ministry."

Lily took the ring and kissed the Minister on the cheek in thanks before awkwardly smiling and unsure of what else to say. Lily turned to look at James again and saw that he had a grin so wide on his face, like he couldn't believe any of it.

"Um..." James itched his head uneasily, "You...you fight good."

At James' side, Sirius rolled his eyes and Lily frowned in dissatisfaction.

"Headed back home, Lily?" Sirius asked, stepping in front of James hastily.

"Thank you." She told Sirius, ignoring his off put tone and hugging him tightly, "Thanks for believing in me."

Sirius chuckled against her hug before wrapping his arms tightly around her, "Tell Remus I'll come see him soon?"

"He'd like that." She turned to James who was staring at her with an unreadable expression, "You too." She told James, "Remus deserves a good visit from his best friends."

She stuck her hand out to James, expecting a handshake but hoping for more. It reminded of her when they said goodbye after James graduated. James stared at her outstretched hand for a moment before pulling her into a tight hug. She breathed in his scent, so purely him, before whispering her goodbye into his shoulder.

"Take care of yourself, yeah?"

She tore herself away from him, the déjà vu too much for her heart to handle. James stared at the floor awkwardly and Lily stood there wondering if she should just tell him how she felt—or if it was too much.

"I'll miss—"

"I wish—"

They both spoke at once and looked away from each other in embarrassment. She sighed and smiled once more before walking past James, away from the minister, and towards her home.

Behind her she thought she heard the Minister say James' name, but she kept walking. She needed to find a world in which she could live magically and with her muggle roots. She was both muggle and magic. She was special. She was muggleborn with her muggle family and in the magical world she was a war hero.

Her father and mother were surprised when she walked trough the front door, wearing her wizards clothes and sporting the ring from the Minister of magic. She probably looked worse for wear since she hadn't stopped between the Minister and her home, but she had to see her parent's faces.

Lily rang the doorbell and her mother unlocked the door first, eyes wide at the sight of her daughter lost in a magical war. Her mother cried when she ran to Lily and wrapped her arms around her tightly. Lily's father stood silently in the doorway, seeming hurt.

"I'm sorry for leaving without a goodbye." Lily said, "Both times." She added for good measure with her father.

Her apology seemed to soften him.

"Oh Lily," her father whispered, battling her mother to hug Lily too, "We're sorry too. You are amazing and talented. The greatest gift, is having you for a daughter."

Lily showed them her ring from the Minister of Magic and despite swearing they'd lay off trying to match her up with an eligible muggle bachelor, Lily's mother couldn't resist cracking a joke about her perpetual single-ness.

"She brings home a ring," her mother joked to her father as they sat on the steps in front of the house together drinking tea, "If you ask me she should have brought home a man _with_ that ri—"

"Hello." James' recognizable voice cut through her mothers jest and Lily turned away from her father in surprise.

James was still dressed in his clothes from the Ministry and was still covered in cuts and bruises but he'd never looked more handsome to Lily in her entire life. Lily felt a lurch in her heart at the sight of him.

"Lily." He smiled at the sight of her but then his smile faltered at the comprehension of her parents observing him skeptically. He cleared his throat, "Might I speak to your daughter alone, Mr. Evans?"

Lily's father waved at Lily to go ahead and Lily smiled, stepping off the stoop and towards James with a small smile. Lily's parents went inside but Lily was sure she heard her mother complaining loudly inside, wanting to know whom the boy was.

"I wanted to give you these." He held out flowers, playing coy, "To thank you for your help."

Lily looked down at the bouquet and smiled when she noticed one of the blossoms wasn't bloomed. Lily took the bouquet from him gratefully and smelled the blooms one by one. They were still covered in dirt and Lily swore her sister Petunia had planted them herself. She smiled despite herself and looked up at him, clutching the flowers to her chest.

"Did you just pick them out of the garden?" she teased him.

James brushed his fingers through his hair anxiously; "Sirius said I'd look like a dunce if I didn't show up with something." James looked at the flowers and blushed again, "Sorry that they're not all bloomed, and I think that one has a bug on it."

Lily laughed through the tears that were threatening to spill, "It's fine," she vowed, "I love them, they're different."

"Like you." He blushed again, deeper this time, but kept going, "You, you've got to know how I feel—about you. I mean you're gorgeous and smart and I should've known who you were at the start but I was so bloody senseless—" he stepped forward and Lily was stationary in her spot, "You are so rare and beautiful and these dumb flowers be damned, I'm going to be a dunce anyhow…I didn't come to bring you flowers."

"You didn't." she confirmed, a smile permanently residing on her face.  
'No." and he grabbed her waist, pulling her close.

Lily dropped the flowers on the ground before throwing her arms around his neck in anticipation. Lily heard him suck in a breath at her assertiveness and his hazel eyes stared down at her, uncertain.

"Thank you." She leaned onto her tiptoes, "For the flowers."

James was still staring at her flabbergasted, "But I just said—"

"Lily, is your friend staying for dinner?" her father called through the kitchen window and Lily smiled even wider when James' mouth opened wide and he seemed one one hand, terribly confused, and on the other, immensely elated.

He laughed too and leaned down to pull her into a kiss that made her toes curl in her shoes and her heart skip a beat. Before he could drag his lips away from her too soon, Lily put her hands in his hair, locking his lips in place. She didn't pull away until her heart felt full and his hands were encircled possessively around her.

"Merlin," he whispered when she leaned her forehead against his, "You don't know how long I've wanted to do _that_."

Lily laughed breathlessly, "About as long as me, I reckon."

James smiled and brushed her red hair behind her ear, "I'm so happy you snuck into the Scouts. I don't know where I'd be now if it wasn't for you."

"Would you like to stay for dinner?" she asked, knotting their fingers together before he could answer.

"I've been wanting to have dinner with you since you stepped into Camp." James said truthfully, "But this food will probably be much better."

Lily said suddenly, having to know, "Did you fancy me, even when I was Lia?"

"I fancy _every_ piece of you." He stared into her eyes devotedly and she believed him.

"Can he stay forever?" Lily's mother called through the kitchen window next and Lily and James laughed, knowing her parents were spying on them.

"Let's start with dinner." Lily said confidently, guiding James up the stairs into her childhood home.

* * *

 **And it's done! Thank you for joining me on this adventure! I had so much fun writing it and reliving one of my favorite Disney movies! I don't have any plans for future jily material right now, but don't worry; I'll probably watch another movie in like two days and come up with another way to incorporate our favorite couple into a movie I love.**

 **Or who knows, maybe I'll go back to writing classic jily.**

 **The world is my oyster!**

 **Please let me know what you thought of this last chapter! Or the story all together! Or anything.**

 **All my love,**

 **Petals**


End file.
